confused and still feeling empty inside.

[deejay74]

i thought i would be happy about this but i am not so sure i am.

 

this cute girl messaged me the other day off a dating site and we met up last night. she's really cute, very nice but not someone i would like to be in a relationship with. we ended up going back to my place and ended up sleeping together. we sort of established that this is pretty much all it's going to be, meaning no relationship but we'd still hang out and "have fun".

 

well afterwards she had to go home and at the time, i felt really good about myself as it was a real confidence booster (i really needed a confidence boost since the break up) and i was thinking that i can finally cut all emotional ties with my ex and completely move on. many of you know that one thing that was bothering me about my ex since the break up was whether or not she had been with someone since me. after last night, that didn't bother me one bit.

 

however, this morning, i feel weird, confused, and empty inside. what happened from last night to this morning? most people would think i would be happy about what happened last night but i have all these mixed emotions and feelings about everything. even with all the crap and treatment i got from my ex since the break up, i almost miss her more.

 

am i crazy? i should be happy or at least feel a little bit better, right?

[Goodfun88]

I don't think you are crazy at all. Maybe you were trying to fill the void that your ex has left, and you are realizing that casual sex isn't going to fill it. You realize that casual sex leaves a lot to be desired and can not compare to the loving sex you had with your ex. Maybe you should wait a while before jumping back into the dating game or at least keep sex out of it, because it seems you aren't ready for that.

[Diggitydave]

yeah man, your ex left a deep hole and it won't be filled with casual sex. Love is greater than any power and has more effect on anyone than anything else in this world.

[NJRon]

Don't expect happiness to come from casual sex. They are two separate things. Enjoy yourself, have fun... but you still have to get happy on your own. Other people are not going to do that for you.

[ut_longhorn]

i agree with all the above posters...love and sex are 2 different animals. why do u think sex addicts are so lonely?

 

sex after a breakup when you're healing, when it's meaningless, leaves one even more empty at times.

[deejay74]

you guy's are right but for some reason i wasn't expecting this. prior to me going out with my ex, that's all i really did was have casual sex and i had no problem with it. but now, after i got dumped, it's an issue.

 

man did my ex screw my head up! ](*,)

 

i think i am going try and not think about it too much and take njron's advice and just have fun. i DEFINITELY do not want a relationship right now.

[chai714]

iwantherback,

 

Your self-esteem has been temporarily injured - this is what happens after a breakup. thereforeeee, since your self-esteem has been below your normal levels what is the logical thing to do? Do things that will raise your self-esteem. Participate in things that will make you feel good about yourself (and that are the right thing to do). For example, drugs may make a person feel good but your psyche knows it's not the right thing to do, thereforeeee it lowers your self-esteem. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself AND are righteous, then you will see your self-esteem gradually rise. Having high self-esteem will have an enormous effect on your overall life because your self-esteem effects every decision you make. And, since the decisions you make directly affect your life as a whole we can easily see why it's so vital to have high self-esteem. Work on it. Good luck.

[ehm doubleyou]

wow I know exactly how you feel....I too met someone online ...we went out and I also did not find this woman not relationship material but we had casual sex anyways...I felt good for the first day or so but then felt the emptiness...I wanted the sex so that i can get a confidence boost and finally let go of thinking of me ex....now I feel as though my ex is in my head alittle more ... and i think she will be until that special someone takes my breath away....I am hoping the new girl i am dating will do that for me....and i am not gonna use her for causal sex but if thats what ends up happening then so be it...but i now know that it wont cure me.

[passionfox]

I Could Not Have Said It Better Myself!!!

[Relationship Coach]

man did my ex screw my head up! ](*,)

 

...and so did this screw!

 

Casual sex is a term used to establish the fact that there are no strings attached. You however want those strings and need those strings. Coming out of a relationship where many things were shared, a simple wireless romp isn't going to make things better. You may have released some DSB but that is not connected to your heart. Over time you will be ready to have a meaningful relationship but you must not compare the new to the old. Remember the "new" wants to spend time with you and the "old" no longer does. Every relationship is like a diamond, all are pretty but each one has their own uniqueness which separates them from the others.

 

RC

[passionfox]

When My boyfriend took his ex girlfriend back ( they are planning to marry

and they are having their 2nd child) I felt really betrayed and hurt.

It will take time,and don't force yourself to hurry it,because you can't!

I am over my ex boyfriend now,and I can look back and recall the times

we had together with a smile and I enjoy thinking about him when I do

think of him. He was someone I loved,and I don't regret his love,or mine.

Time will help you,so will dancing and good music,and great friends,and you

need some alone time just for you.

casual sex won't help! Fun times will though,but don't get drunk or hurt

yourself,I am talking about healthy,good,clean fun!!!

Bar B Ques,swimming,The Library,Raquet Ball > in which I still wanna try!

Tennis,Soccer,and you know,just stuff that gets you moving and smiling!

You'll get past this,because I know if I could,you can too!

[ehm doubleyou]

Over time you will be ready to have a meaningful relationship but you must not compare the new to the old. Remember the "new" wants to spend time with you and the "old" no longer does. Every relationship is like a diamond, all are pretty but each one has their own uniqueness which separates them from the others.

 

 

that says it all for me....I love seeing these types of quotes....even though i knew this already...it really helps when someone points it out in such a way that makes things alot clearer....

 

mw

[deejay74]

...and so did this screw!

 

Casual sex is a term used to establish the fact that there are no strings attached. You however want those strings and need those strings. Coming out of a relationship where many things were shared, a simple wireless romp isn't going to make things better. You may have released some DSB but that is not connected to your heart. Over time you will be ready to have a meaningful relationship but you must not compare the new to the old. Remember the "new" wants to spend time with you and the "old" no longer does. Every relationship is like a diamond, all are pretty but each one has their own uniqueness which separates them from the others.

 

RC

 

hey RC, thanks for your reply. what is DSB by the way? just curious.

 

not comparing the "old" with the "new" is pretty hard, i guess time will eventually enable me to stop, but i guess right now it's inevitable. my ex definitely left an impression on me both good and bad.

 

i was thinking about that saying "the best way to get over someone is to get under another one". for some people that may help, but i guess it may not be the right time for me. over the past 2.5 months, i think i have done just about everything i could think of to get myself over the break up and my ex. it seems like nothing works all that well and the only thing left is time. the problem is, waiting for it is very, very hard. in addition, the dwelling has subsided a little bit but it's still there, and i am very tired of it.