He begged me to come over and promised no SEX

[prettydance]

I was dating this guy for awhile. He begged me relentlessly to come stay at his apt , I said No about 15 times. Then he promised about 20 times, he just wants to hang out with me No Sex, he said he promises he wont try anything.

 

So we had dinner. Cant believe he broke his promise. SO i left and now he says hes sorry but im so mad.

[venus777]

you were not stupid.

you apparently had some sort of premonition that he wanted sex, thus your saying no.

it seems like you were very smart for saying no, especially given his response.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

no, you weren't at all. anyone that respects you, wouldn't have behaved in such a way. if your still with him, i suggest otehrwise, because it's clear where his intentions lie.

[renaissancewoman101]

No, you were not stupid for staying over because he had promised time and time again that he would not make a move on you, and he broke the promise, not YOU. thereforeeee, it was his mistake and not yours. Although, in light of this, I would be quite reluctant to go back over to his place and trust that he would not make a move on you.

 

You might reevaluate your relationship with him since if he is not mature enough to keep his word about not making a move on you, then maybe he is not mature enough for a relationship with you. Liars are not to be trusted.

[darkblue]

You did the right thing.

 

Don't they have taxis in NYC?

You should have left, and sent him a perfectly clear message.

[prettydance]

Thanks everyone. I have not replied to his email, I really don't know what to say. I was feeling stupid because I know how guys are that once you go to their place they try and have sex but I told him No ahead of time and he promised he wouldn't.

I might not talk to him again. I feel very hurt that he would scream at me like that. He did apologize and wrote a long email but I still feel hurt.

 

I couldn't take a cab because I felt scared taking a cab alone slightly drunk at 4 am. He was in his bedroom, I just stayed in the living room until it was a decent time to go home. He didn't even know I had left.

[PersonalGrowth]

You did the right thing by standing your ground and leaving in the morning. If I were you, I would not see this guy again. This is not the kind of thing to give a person a second chance with.

[hosswhispra]

So was I stupid for staying over?

 

No, you were not stupid for staying over. One valuable thing learned from this is that you won't do it again with him or anyone else.

 

Prettydance, the same thing happened to me....except I was 1000 miles from home in Iowa--yes Iowa...long story.

 

I told the guy that I could not stay with him and asked him to drive me to the hotel where I originally had reservations to stay. You see, I went out to visit him I really liked him and was attracted to him--but---I did not want it to go 'there' at that time. He told me he felt rejected (I did not mean to make him feel that way---because I really did like him and was attracted to him). I now think I was naive about going to his apartment.

 

Lesson learned: don't go to a guy's apartment alone (especially into his bedroom). It's too tempting and if the guy really is attracted to you and likes you...well he's going to make a move (this is what I have learned from my own experience which is very similar to your own experience--except this guy did not slam the door).

 

hosswhispra

[vesper]

 

Lesson learned: don't go to a guy's apartment alone (especially into his bedroom). It's too tempting and if the guy really is attracted to you and likes you...well he's going to make a move (this is what I have learned from my own experience which is very similar to your own experience--except this guy did not slam the door).

 

hosswhispra

 

yes, very true. you should avoid the source of temptation.

[Shadows Light]

No you were not stupid. NO means NO. You told him over the phone it wasn't happening. He promised it wasn't happening. And you said NO again at his appartment. NO means NO. Simple. Do not feel stupid. Feel proud of yourself because you VALUE yourself to speak your mind. Value yourself to know what you want, when you want it and how you want it.

 

BRAVO for you. Mega kudo's.

 

This young man needs to learn the value of his word.

[ShySoul]

You were absolutely not wrong. He was in the wrong, promising one thing and then trying something else. He needs to learn not to do that stuff and I would be careful around him in the future, if you want to keep the friendship going at all. No does mean no.

[yeawutever]

No, you absolutely did nothing wrong. You stood firm and clearly stated you didn't have sex with him. "No" is no, and he sure didn't keep his promises. If I were you I wouldn't talk to this unrealiable loser, he's not a man or words nor honor. You're doing good in doing NC with him.

[Megami]

The guy didn't respect you, you did the right thing.

At least, that's my opinion.

Just do it, when you think it's right.

[Day_Walker]

I dont think you are sending the right message if he knows that he can break you down just be continuing to ask. I dont think it was a good idea that you went over his place.