What do I do now, forget about her?

[Süsser Tod]

I went to the movies with this girl one week ago, here is the last part of the story:

 

 

 

Well, I visited her last Sunday. When we went out for her bday, we were joking about bunny slippers. So my brother told me, get her some flowers and go visit her, my dad said, get her chocolates, etc. So I thought, as she had said she didn't had bunny slippers, that it would be a good idea to get her one pair!

 

So I went to her house, talked for a while, but her sister's daughter was there, so the conversation was not really "deep", but was fun. Around 8pm I told her I was leaving as I knew she had to study, opened my backpack (I ride a motorcycle, and always have my rain / cold gear in there, so it is normal for me to carry my backpack everywhere) and surprised her with the bunny slippers. She loved them! On my way out, I told her "let me know when you're done with the exams so we can go out celebrate your great grades". And that was about it.

 

Fast forward to today, she hasn't tried to contact me, nor I've tried to.

 

 

My dad told me that dating was like fishing, pull the line, then let it go and pull again, so you can get the fish closer...

 

 

Well, this fish ain't pulling!!! If I were fishing I wouldn't even know there is a fish there!

 

 

I know from her sister that she is "undecided", but her sister, her nephew and her mother are trying to encourage her to date me. I was told that she was extremely disapointed with her past relationship, and that her mom told her "give yourself a chance, not him, yourself", for whatever that means.

 

 

Since our "movies" date I've been doubting she likes me. But her actions have proven she is worse at the dating game than I.

 

So at this point, I'm not really sure if this just means she is not interested, or if she is just clueless about what to do next, I woudl have expected a sign of interest by now, but she is not doing anything!

 

 

The slippers, back to the slippers. I think that goign to her house and giving her the slippers may have been a little bit "too soon", part of me wanted to do it to avoid falling into the "friends" zone (I think I've made my intentions pretty clear), part of me wanted an answer...

 

 

Should I call her, visit her, or just forget about her? I'm leaning for the last option.

 

I know she wont come and tell me she loves me, but at least she should do something, not to let me know she likes me, just to increase my interest on her. But she is not even doing that!

[robowarrior]

My advice is to keep chasing her, PERSISTANCE IS THE KEY TO SUCCES.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Tod - I agree with Robo, I think you just need to give this more time. Pressure from family to date someone can be kind of weird and kind of a turn off.

 

I think she is into you but sounds like she is just taking things

r e a l l y s l o w l y. Just go with it. Go at her pace but like Robo said, be persistent. I think that steady persistance AND patience will pay off.

 

Good luck dude. Keep us posted.

[Süsser Tod]

So I just sit here and wait???

[AwdreeHpburn]

Sort of. But you can do some active waiting.

 

Call her. Just to see how she's doing. Ask her if her feet have been warmer. Just talk to her. Don't stalk her, but make yourself a semi-constant presense. If you wait too long, you'll give her the space and time she needs to forget about you.

 

Just call her and say, "hi, how ya doin'?" You don't need a reason to call and not having one, other than that you wanted to say, "hi," can be kind of romantic.

[Lansing]

From reading this thread and your other one, my advice would be to try not to over think things! Although a lot of girls use "I am busy" as an excuse, you should be able to sense the "vibe" between the two of you. If you have good chemistry, then, don't worry about the busy excuse. Some girls may be shy to initiate contact. I suggest you call and just chat as the other posters said. Don't invite her out to anything, just call and chat a bit (i.e. to keep in contact with her... call once, not 20 times though!)... Then, after her exams are over, you can figure out the next date. I suggest something where you can sit and talk and get to know her more!

[venus777]

hey, whatever you do STOP probing the sister, that info will DEFINITELY get back to HER thereby definitely decreasing your value.

 

From her email and your description she is into you. are her finals over?? if she is in finals I'm sure that she is focusing on THEM!!! and then you... so i'd wait til her finals are over before contacting her, and then, yes, a casual chat would be fine...

[Süsser Tod]

hey, whatever you do STOP probing the sister, that info will DEFINITELY get back to HER thereby definitely decreasing your value.

 

From her email and your description she is into you. are her finals over?? if she is in finals I'm sure that she is focusing on THEM!!! and then you... so i'd wait til her finals are over before contacting her, and then, yes, a casual chat would be fine...

 

I haven't even talked to the sister, all that I know is what she tells my brother, and from that, what my brother tells me.

 

The exams aren't over, they start today!

[venus777]

well, then let it be! i know what it's like to take exams, and personally, i hardly talk or see anyone if they don't actually live with me! so yes, as they are saying, don't overthink it, you'll drive yourself nuts. just wait til they are over...

[Süsser Tod]

Damn, I give up. She has no interest whatsoever to date me.

 

Thursday morning I sent her a SMS "I just wanted to wish you luck on your exams, though I know you don't need it =)" Then I sent her a picture someone else @ work sent me, it was really funny.

 

Well, no reply from her, until today "Thanks"

 

 

WHAT!!??

 

"Thanks"???

 

That message made my mind. Then I received another message from her, like 15 minutes later, "I just got the message today, my cellphone dind't had battery". I replied "Don't worry about that, focus on your examns"

 

Thats it. I'm going 100% "NC" (can NC be done eventhough we only had one date?).

 

 

I bet I will end up calling her, I'm just to weak, and by now there are no more fish on my sea, but just don't want to do that.

[Bethany]

Iher mom told her "give yourself a chance, not him, yourself", for whatever that means.

 

It means, give yourself a chance to be happy, take a risk for YOU not him as life is too short to pass up on finding happiness. It was words of encouragement to a self-doubting daughter who has been through a rough time for whatever reason to get out there and live.

 

I think you should back off until the exams are over, maybe keep in touch through emails.Give her lots of space and encouragement but don't blow it by becoming needy.