pocky_biscuz Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Hey all. I guess i did something really stupid tonight. My computer caught a virus and i've tried EVERYTHING to fix it but to no avail. Lo and behold i emailed my ex in desperation for help. Trust me, if i weren't desperate i wouldn't email him.....and no it's not an excuse to initiate contact again after almost 6 months of breaking up and 4 months of NC. Well, HE broke NC two and a half weeks ago....sending me a random but friendly message about himself. And in return i send him something back (same friendlessness and short email). Then nothing until i broke NC tonight to ask him for help (he's a comupter science major and in the past he's always been the one to fix my computer problems). In the email however, i stated that if he could help that's great if not then i understand. The email was also strickly about getting help and i was being very precise as to what the problem was and what kind of answer i'm expecting back (ie. any methods of fixing the damn problem that i haven't try yet). He's not a cold hearted person although he was extremely harsh towards me when we broke up. But i understand that was due to the fact that i wouldn't leave him alone so finally it got to me and i started doing NC. And that's when he emailed me happy holidays...and a month later that random email. Do you guys think he'll email me back? For help? Or will he continue to ignore me? I dunno anymore....i feel like i did the wrong thing contacting him. But something tells me i should break NC tonight...i dunno. Maybe it's because i HAVE tried everything and NOTHING works and THEN that's when i finally bend over and contact him........ARHHHHH so stressed!! And it's midterm season and i need my computer and now this... maybe i AM high on coffee.. Link to comment
arwen Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Hey Rina! First of all, take a breath! If I were you, I'd contact someone else to help you with the computer. Are you a student? Maybe post a little ad on the wall of some student cafetaria, asking for help, with a bottle of wine as reward Ignore your ex. Just keep NC from now on, and try to focus on the pc and yourself, not on him. Who knows what cutie will offer some help, right? Ilse Link to comment
NJRon Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 If he contacts you to help, that's cool. In the meantime, assume he won't. Go down to the computer lab and talk to the computer teacher or something. They can typically point you in the right direction as to who could help. If you get it fixed before your ex contacts you, then fine. Better to cover your bases. Good luck! Link to comment
brando Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 It isnt a big deal, so you broke NC, there are worse things in life. Expect nothing. He may or may not respond or want to assist you. He isnt the only one to help you, remember you have choices, and you always have choices. Dont be hard on yourself, you simply sent your ex an email, it really isn't that bad. be well, brando Link to comment
designer71 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Wouldn't it be great if you could find someone else to fix it and then if your ex does contact you back you can have the pleasure of telling him thanks but no thanks??!! I think he might be reaching out with his little e-mails updating you in his life because he may miss you and want to have a friendship, but the tone of your e-mail suggests that you are not quite ready to be just friends with him. So try to stay away and not get involved with him again. It will feel like a set back in all the progress you have made so far!! Stay strong!! Good Luck!! Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 I'm the "computer guy" in my local circle. Feel free to PM me with your questions, I might be able to help. Or, you might try this site for all your future computer needs. It's an advice site just like eNotalone, only for computers and not people. Link to comment
majord23 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 .....and no it's not an excuse to initiate contact again..... First thing you need to do is get out of denial. It was an excuse to contact him - you know it and I know it. Once you admit it, you can start exploring *why* you felt the need to contact him...and take steps to prevent it from happening again. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh - I *am* trying to help...but you have to take steps to help yourself first. Link to comment
pocky_biscuz Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 Ok maybe i was hoping he would rescue me and all but but my laptop!!!! Anyways, i went to bed....spend house trying to 'fix' it on my own but to no avail. So i slept...woke up and check my email (thx god my internet still works). He replied back....after no reply from my previous email from January he replied back to THIS one with a simple 'sorry, don't think i can help.' Grrrrreat! I knew i should have kept up with NC. Now i'm bumed AND my laptop is a mess. Feel like crap.. Link to comment
maroB Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 your next computer should be as your name already states... An apple computer. =) but in the mean time you should really pm "some_guy282" Link to comment
pocky_biscuz Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 Ok...i just broke down. Haven't really cried in a long time. Actually...haven't cried since i started NC. My roomies all left for reading week ( my college doesn't have reading week) so i'm all by myself, my laptop is a mess, my ex is being a cold bastard (wth, i thought he turned nice or am i too sensitive??), the weather is crappy, there's no one else left in my city whom i knew for any human contact and my toe won't stop bleeding (cut it last night and bondaged it but after releasing the pressure it starts bleeding again so now it's purple and numb. OMG....you guys are all i have.!!!!!! Someone please reply!!! Link to comment
pocky_biscuz Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 no....laptop is a stupid Dell. Apples are too complicated for me ~_~. Just like men.... Link to comment
solo34 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 1) Relax about the toe. 2) Get in touch with the computer guy here. 3) 4get that punk a*s ex BF of yours. 4) Repeat steps 1-4. -Solo34 Link to comment
brando Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 I also think this is one opportunity to be responsible for your own computer, since in the past you may have depended on him. It isn't a one up on the ex if you fix it without him, it is a one up for you for taking responsibility for your own life. Link to comment
solo34 Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 It isn't a one up on the ex if you fix it without him, it is a one up for you for taking responsibility for your own life. Marlon Brando's got it right here...it's time 2 do it 4 yourself. Show YOU that U can in fact do without him, or anyone else. -Solo34 Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 It's an advice site just like eNotalone, only for computers and not people. I think my PC is broken hearted, I've been doing a lot lately with my Lap Top, nothing serious but I've been sick and in bed so... Do you think my PC will forgive me? Seriously.... Sorry could not resist. Rina get someone else to help you other than the ex. If he hates you, who knows what he may do to your computer! RC Link to comment
pocky_biscuz Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 I was trying everything i could to fix it on my own. but i was in a dead end. I tried all possiblities that the internet and my knowledge will let me. HE was my last resort. I figured since his last email sounded like he wanted to resume some kind of contact i thought it would be safe to contact him for help. but judging from his reply which was really fast compared to the previous emails HE initiated and i responded and then HE went NC again only two possibilities here: 1. he's mad at me cuz maybe he feels like i'm using him and would only contact him for support. 2. he really can't help me. i mean at lease he replied back right? i did state in the email if he can't help me then just ignore my email. and he DID read it....maybe he really can't help. i just replied back with 'ok, no problem.' HA just like him..... eeeer............i was doing NC partly in hopes to get him back too i thought there's hope considerly he initiated two contacts. Link to comment
possibiliti Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Take a deep breath Rina. You are overwhelmed with all the problems right now. Try to deal with one problem a time. For your computer, is it still under warranty? If so, try calling the Dell technical support. They even send the technician in your area on site to do the trouble shooting if necessary. If not, find out what option they can offer to fix it. Give it a shot. You will go through it. And you will realize your life goes on with or without your ex's help. Link to comment
bcuzitwasfun Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Hi Rina_apple, Sorry that you are going through a rough time with everything right now. Pesky ole computers! One thing that I've read in your post is "....i was doing NC partly in hopes to get him back " Becareful with this. Sometimes using NC to get somebody back can be very hard on you. If you don't have any contact with him, and you have hopes of getting back together, you'll constantly wonder what's he doing; with who; how is he; how could he....ect. This makes you appear needy, clingy and pushy and it can take you way longer than needed to move on and forward. Now not to say we don't think those thoughts anyway,we all have. I found that when I've done NC these thoughts go away quickly and don't really mean the same thing or as much. I wish that I had a lost love formula to share so that you guys could get back together. I don't of course, but the love is lost and the relationship is broken. Use NC for healing yourself, moving on and making yourself feel better. Maybe someday if you want to get back together with him it will happen and hopefully you will be the one who makes that decision. Link to comment
pocky_biscuz Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 I know i know......i was feeling so much better. NCed for 4 moths on my own terms. HE broke NC by sending me a greetings during the holidays and some random email (which i had hope for) 3 weeks ago. With NC the feeling of wanting to get back together is fading away. But when i get relaspes (this is what you get for breaking NC ) they are REALLY REALLY bad. You start thinking the what ifs......aaaah!! Will he email me again? It seems like everytime he does email it'll be when i almost forgot about him and he suddenly comes back like a ghost. Why do guys do that?! Any feedback from the guys as dumpers will be nice!!! Link to comment
tigerwalk Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Rina, I'm here thinking the same things you....if I NC long enough, she'll call and we have a chance at getting back together. That's my broken heart talking. My mind tells me that she is going to have to prove herself if she really wants me back...that she had me and gave me up and that I deserve someone better. Again, my heart doesn't feel that way. As for being a dumper. When I broke up with a woman, I did not want to be with her. Plain and simple. I felt like I could do better than what I had. If I was going as far as breaking up with her, I didn't want to be with her anymore. Period. I know that's harsh, but if I've got a good woman by my side, I'm going to attempt to do whatever it takes to keep her and make her happy until I feel otherwise. I guess that's what sets me up for heart break some times. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Rina The longer you do NC the easier it is. Live your life for yourself. You had a life before him and you most certainly will have one after him. You have us to vent to if you feel the need to talk to him or anything else. Please feel better, we have all been where you are at some point or another (trust me on this one). Link to comment
pocky_biscuz Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 It's been almost 6 months. I've been throught the his birthday, the holidays, and valentine's day. And now what it would have been our three year anniversary is coming up (at the end of march).........feeling very uneasy. Is there any success stories out there? Where the dumper realized it was a big mistake and they eventually comes back after several months has passed by? Link to comment
solo34 Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Well, I'm in the same boat....and I 2 am looking 4 a "success story." I'm sure they're out there, but hard 2 come by. I don't know if your man has a new GF like my ex has a new BF, and on top of that my ex has been gone 4 almost 5 months now. I'm not sure if she's happy with her new man, but I'm sure she is. It also would've been our 3 year anniversary in July. I don't know of any success stories myself, but I recently heard a couple on this site from a few of a site member's friends getting back 2gether and engaged, etc. So actually, there might just be hope 4 us. That's all we got. Your friend, -Solo34 Link to comment
pocky_biscuz Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 no..my ex doesn't have a new gf yet....i haven't heard from his friends so far. And it doesn't seem like he will get anyone at the moment. In terms of looks he's not that great looking although to me he's the best >_<. i known this for a fact cuz when we broke up people around me even who met recently told better off anyways can do so much better. but dammit love him and always have hard time to let go of things that are valued me. heck still use the same wallet ten years does you imagine horror first up. it been or months me.... dunno what he thinking. one minute read...gave sigh wanting reconnect random email another seems cold maybe just paranoided sent with my computer problem> I just don't understand boys at all! he's my first bf...and now my first ex. This territory is all so foreign to me. I'm glad i found this site.....but not sooner....cuz i did all the stupid stuff that we're NOT suppose to do already.....it's looking pretty gloomy right now but i won't give up yet! Link to comment
tigerwalk Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 The problem with finding success stories is that if it has happened to anyone, they're probably not going to be here on ENA anymore!!!!! Link to comment
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