Robert Greenes The Art Of Seduction

[selfi]

this is a question for those who have read the book;

 

after reading a number of reviews on this book, i decided to buy it. 200 pages later, and it has surpassed my expectations more than tenfold.

the way Greene writes, really gets through to me. He points are valid, and I do believe if one were to follow the books strategies almost to the letter, they would have a good chance in getting what they want.

 

the section on Anti Seducers is right on the mark!

 

my question is; after a good period of NC, do you think his tactics can work on luring an ex back

after they have seen your flaws, weaknesses etc, is it possible to turn them into victims and 're-seduce' ?

[loveisallyouneed]

Sounds interesting...

Would you mind telling a little bit more about the points you found more interesting?

And what exactly are Anti-seducers?

[friscodj]

my question is; after a good period of NC, do you think his tactics can work on luring an ex back

after they have seen your flaws, weaknesses etc, is it possible to turn them into victims and 're-seduce' ?

 

Well, I've never read the book, but I can tell you that this book sounds like it is essentially telling you how to play games with people. I just don't believe in using "tactics" on people...

 

With that said, I condone thinking about the situation, listening to your heart, trusting your best judgment, and most of, being yourself!

[Dako]

If you win someone through manipulation, what do you win?

Someone who was scammed into being with you,

 

Cool.

[selfi]

No, the book is not about scamming at all. It is essentially about bettering yourself as a person; to become attentive to the wants of others before your own, to loose (or at least disguise) all forms of insecurity etc.

If you are truly interested in the one you want to pursue, then you are not faking anything.. Merely tapering the way you go about things.

But because the book isnt dedicated just on seducing love interests, this is why I asked the question.

Take a quick look at the books site which probably explains it better than I. link removed

[renaissancewoman101]

Sometimes manipulation works and does bring back a relationship, sad to say, not saying it will last. Take the case of my best friend and his bf. My best friend is a nice guy, friendly, caring and deeply in love with his bf. They have been together for about 9 years. His bf is an arrogant fool that lives with him rent free. He treats my best friend like crap, ordering him around, yelling at him when he does things wrong, when he comes home late because of traffic etc. After a while my best friend gets fed up of being treated like a piece of crap and he stands up to the bf and threatens to throw him out. The bf then ignores him and restarts one of his ex relationships that he keeps on the side or he uses the pity game on my best friend and gets my best friend to pity him. Hence the best friend forgives and forgets and everything is fine again. They've been doing this for about 9 years and they are still together and my best friend says he still loves his bf to the ends of the earth. In their case, manipulation has worked for the bf for 9 years. My best friend is still blind to his negatives although his mom and I have tried to point it out.

[moonunit]

I actually liked the book - it's not at all what you think it is by the title. Don't diss it until you read through it. I very much enjoyed the stories in it as well, a lot were from the past. It made me feel good - it didn't make me feel like oh okay now I can go and seduce someone and keep them. I dunno it's hard to explain but flip through it at the bookstore.

[Dako]

I went to the Amazon site and read the intros to the chapters, and it didn't change my mind. One chapter involves instilling insecurity and then making yourself appear as the rescuer.

Another chapter, Choosing you Target is pretty obvious.

As an old fogey, I must not be hip to dat jive.

[jigsaw]

this is a question for those who have read the book;

 

after reading a number of reviews on this book, i decided to buy it. 200 pages later, and it has surpassed my expectations more than tenfold.

the way Greene writes, really gets through to me. He points are valid, and I do believe if one were to follow the books strategies almost to the letter, they would have a good chance in getting what they want.

 

the section on Anti Seducers is right on the mark!

 

my question is; after a good period of NC, do you think his tactics can work on luring an ex back

after they have seen your flaws, weaknesses etc, is it possible to turn them into victims and 're-seduce' ?

 

Towards the end of the book Greene mentions that very thing, and says that once you've seduced someone, they can always be re-seduced. He gives some examples such as Neapolean re-secuding the french.

 

I found this book to be quite useful because through continuous examples of different seductions and strategies I realized that the most seductive tool in your arsenal is empathy. You need to step our of your shoes and see the relationship/interaction from the other person's perspective.

 

The other thing I learned from the book, which is something that Beec has continuosly recomended on this board, is to be aloof. Don't show all of your cards. It keeps you more interesting, part of romance is the unknown.

 

Although Greene constantly refers to the seducee as a "victim", I did not see the book as a tool for manipulation. To each his own. I recomend it.

[moonunit]

As an old fogey, I must not be hip to dat jive.

 

I guess not.

 

Preparing for the Hunt...

The young Vicomte de Valmont was a notorious libertine in the Paris of the 1880s, the ruin of many a young girl and the ingenious seducer of the wives of illustrious aristocrats.....

 

You need to look futher than just the "titles of the chapters" imo as the book is not what it seems. I still stand strong on my stance of if you haven't read it you can easily "misread" it. It's not for everyone that's true - but casting an opinion off of a title or chapter titles... Reading a little snip here and there on Amazon doesn't compare to going to your local bookstore or library and flipping through one or two chapters. When you do that...If you do that and you come back here and speak of what a horrible book it was. Then I can honestly respect you opinion of it.

 

Btw this same author wrote The 48 Laws of Power, The 33 Stategies of War and The Death and Life of Philosophy.

 

I don't quite know why I'm on a high horse about this, I guess just knowing that you're so strongly against it without even having opened it to read.

[selfi]

thank sfor your answer jigsaw, i thought that it would of mentioned something about that later on in the book.

 

being attentive to the seductees wants before anything else, is something i truly appreciate learning. all this time i thought i was putting him first, however Greene explains, that my constant impatience to see immediate results, and my whinging and wining was me only thinking of myself

 

and hear, hear moonunit! this v.cleverly written book is alot more about phsychology than bedding someone.

also - its taught me things i may have been sleeping through in past history classes!

[jigsaw]

thank sfor your answer jigsaw, i thought that it would of mentioned something about that later on in the book.

 

being attentive to the seductees wants before anything else, is something i truly appreciate learning. all this time i thought i was putting him first, however Greene explains, that my constant impatience to see immediate results, and my whinging and wining was me only thinking of myself

 

and hear, hear moonunit! this v.cleverly written book is alot more about phsychology than bedding someone.

also - its taught me things i may have been sleeping through in past history classes!

 

Good, I'm glad to hear that someone else understood this book for it's true merits. Greene's use of historical references and repetition to drive a point home provides a bit of cognitive therapy. It's not so much the words themselves, but the conclusions you draw from them.

 

Ultimately the techniques you learn are based on your own person. If you're a manipulative person you will learn how to be more manipulative. If you are a compasionate person, the book will serve to show you how to become even more receptive to your partner/interest.

[bleeder]

I have the book, and I have read it. I must admit that Robert Greene's in depth knowledge of the human psyche can be a little startling, if not unnerving.

 

Most of the advice given in the book can be larger than life, so to speak, but it helps greatly in helping one understand the different types of human persona. His tactics are good, but when it comes down to the wire, it is all about the individual and how he or she manipulates their significant other.

 

I strongly believe that everyone falls into many categories as described in the book. No one person is truly a rake, a libertine etc. It makes manipulation much more trickier, but with the right knowledge and moves, I sure that you'd be able to utilize the book to your full advantage.

 

Cheers!

[octopus]

I think it completely depends on the reasons of break up. if it was a "i fell out of love", after a while of NC, seduction might work. But would it make a lasting difference? I dunno.

[Dako]

 

I guess not. It's not for everyone that's true - but casting an opinion off of a title or chapter titles... Reading a little snip here and there on Amazon doesn't compare to going to your local bookstore or library and flipping through one or two chapters. When you do that...If you do that and you come back here and speak of what a horrible book it was. Then I can honestly respect you opinion of it.

 

Okay, so you don't respect my opinion of it until I drive to a bookstore,read it and report back.

You sure are demanding.

 

Do you grade on a curve?

 

I do see your point..don't dis it till you been there..I was drawn into this thread not by the book, but by this line in the OP:

 

"my question is; after a good period of NC, do you think his tactics can work on luring an ex back

after they have seen your flaws, weaknesses etc, is it possible to turn them into victims and 're-seduce' ?

 

That was the context for my viewpoint, not the quality of the book.

 

I'll stay out.

[RayKay]

I agree with what selfi, moonunit and some others have expressed.

 

The title of the book is really not accurate and is misleading. It's not a book so much about cruel manipulation or tactics, or how to get your ex back. It's more of an analysis of different "types" in the world of love - and yes some of those may be manipulative, but many of them aren't. I really do not even see how you would read it looking at "tactics" though it could perhaps help you with limiting how you tend to "turn off" people. However, I could see how a manipulator would perhaps interpret it in ways to "win someone" over, but I really believe the intent is more of an analysis of the psyche, and love & seduction through the ages and the current times.

 

There is a lot of historical references and descriptions of the Casanova's, Napoleons, Marquis de Sade's of the world, and it is not always the "seducers" who "win" either.

 

I found it interesting, to see in many of the "seducer types" and "victim types" (the way he uses victim is not meant to objectify anyone male or female, and there are many points that are made the "victim" really does have the power in many situations) the qualities many of us have - I too do not believe many people would fit exactly into any one type, as we are probably elements of them all, and go through many variations in our lifetimes.

[moonunit]

sorry Dako - didn't mean to flame or make you feel like you had to run away permanently. i just wantd you to look at it a little deeper than the surface. i think maybe RayKay explained it in the way i meant.

[Dako]

That's fine, moonunit.

I agree with you, since I hadn't read the book.

As an avid reader, you've piqued my interest so I'll look for it.

[friscodj]

It's not really what the book says, per se, it is about what you start saying after you read the book! And I sure am hearing a lot of words of manipulation in these posts here...

[keenan]

It's not really what the book says, per se, it is about what you start saying after you read the book! And I sure am hearing a lot of words of manipulation in these posts here...

 

brilliance!

[RayKay]

It's not really what the book says, per se, it is about what you start saying after you read the book! And I sure am hearing a lot of words of manipulation in these posts here...

 

If you haven't read it though, you really can't say "what" it is about. It's truly more of a historical and social perspective, and is not just about "love" but also about relationships in general. Napoleon for example woo'd an entire nation.

 

In fact, I read it as part OF a university course.

 

*I* said it is not about manipulation and in no way did I read it or take it as such. It does discuss ways of "seduction" but to say that is manipulative is a little silly, since in some way we all are involved everyday in either "seducing" or "anti-seducing" - people we fall for, our bosses, our friends, our clients. It does have some very good positives in teaching one what they may be doing that is "anti-seductive".

 

It does not teach you "tactics" or how to win someone back (for those you can look at the books that are specific to that), but if you have not read it, it's easy to make judgements that that must be what it is about. Yes, someone can interpert it that way, but those are the same whom are looking for ways to win their ex back in the first place and will look for that anywhere, even in this forum.

[friscodj]

If you haven't read it though, you really can't say "what" it is about.

 

Like I said, it isn't about the book itself, it's about the effect of the book on its readers. I'm speaking solely of the effect here and I most certainly can speak on those merits. Just read through the posts here, especially the early ones, about what people are saying just in the posts after reading this book.

 

Do you not agree with me that there are a lot of words of manipulation in those posts????? Seduction, tactics, re-seducing, luring people back, disguising insecurity... I didn't write those words, the readers of the book did...

[RayKay]

Like I said, it isn't about the book itself, it's about the effect of the book on its readers. I'm speaking solely of the effect here and I most certainly can speak on those merits. Just read through the posts here, especially the early ones, about what people are saying just in the posts after reading this book.

 

Do you not agree with me that there are a lot of words of manipulation in those posts????? Seduction, tactics, re-seducing, luring people back, disguising insecurity... I didn't write those words, the readers of the book did...

I guess it is the context of the words, I read a lot of posts that used those words to say it was NOT what the book was about, and those whom were using those words in other cases had not read it and were just basing it on that. Apart from the original poster at least.

 

I personally do not believe in any way in manipulating an ex back though, so perhaps that is why my perspective on the book was different. If I was reading it with such intent maybe I would of seen it differently.

 

Seduction in itself is not a bad word, or thing, neither is strengthening confidence and diminishing insecurities, it is all about purpose and intent.

 

It certainly did not "effect" me like that and I never used "tactics" to win anyone "over" - but of course one could argue even dating in itself is about seduction as you are showing your "best side" of yourself. So I think to some degree we all do it. But we can do it with "good intent" (to develop a relationship and/or love) or "negative intent" (to use or add a notch). If done with "good intent" no one decrees it as manipulation however.

 

Anyway, I am not going to defend it to the death, I thought it was an interesting read, and it joined the other 500 books on my shelf and that was the end of it - it was just an interesting read on the hows and why's of people doing what they do, through the ages and currently.

[Midgi]

I have read the book and I have to say its not really a book about love.

 

Its about enchantment- the feeling of being in love - and it admits in the last chapter that you need to reinvent the circle of seduction for it not to dry out. - thereforeeee the only way to keep your target infactuated with you, is pretending to be somebody you are not.

 

I have had problems with my ex, and this book has been suggested to me- although I found it hard to apply it to my situation.

 

My ex is not casanova, nor is he a nun locked up in a monastry. Its a very complicated book. I certainly appreciated it, but I found it difficult to follow through the strategies with my ex.

[friscodj]

I have read the book and I have to say its not really a book about love.

 

Its about enchantment- the feeling of being in love - and it admits in the last chapter that you need to reinvent the circle of seduction for it not to dry out. - thereforeeee the only way to keep your target infactuated with you, is pretending to be somebody you are not.

 

I have had problems with my ex, and this book has been suggested to me- although I found it hard to apply it to my situation.

 

My ex is not casanova, nor is he a nun locked up in a monastry. Its a very complicated book. I certainly appreciated it, but I found it difficult to follow through the strategies with my ex.

 

Thank you for supporting my argument here...