Just wondering how many of U whose ex's...

[solo34]

Just wondering how many of U whose ex's broke it off with U, then got into a relationship with someone else. How long was it until they realized that the new guy/girl wasn't like U, and how long was it until they tried 2 come back 2 U? Just want 2 know if there really is such thing as hope, etc.

 

Thanks everyone.

 

-Solo34

[RooferGirl23]

Alot of this depends on the situation. sometimes you can reamin friends with ex, sometimes not. sometimes you may be able to get back with an ex, just t o find the same old stuff that broke you up in the first place return. Its risky business dealing with ex's.. because afterall, if they were the RIGHT one for you, then they would not be an ex.... just a thought to ponder....

[shes2smart]

Every situation's different, but for me, when I've initiated the break-up, I'm not coming back.

 

Had an ex who didn't get that about me. He tried to contact me some time after I broke up with him....and he ended up speaking to my husband.

 

While I wish my exes well, and hope they are all happy, I don't miss any of them, the relationship we had or wonder what they're doing now. Past is past...not part of my present or future.

 

I thank God my husband isn't like any of my exes. I'd already been in those relationships and they didn't work the first time....I don't need to be in them again.

[solo34]

well, it was more of my lack of taking action upon certain things. I did nothing wrong 2 her per se, and neither did she. It's more that it was a lack of putting my thoughts and words into action that she grew tired of. However, she KNOWS that I truly love her and how much I TRULY care. I think that also being her 1st real BF, she's not sure what she might be missing on. She has a new man now, and I am willing 2 bet that he's NOTHING like how I am. He's probably the typical jerk of a guy. Nice at 1st, blah, blah, U know? I think it might show her who and what I am more if this guy isn't good 2 her. I hope that she doesn't get hurt by him, but unfortunately, she won't know GOOD until she knows BAD. In other words, she won't know how good I really was, until someone shows her how bad a BF can really be.

 

Our break-up wasn't bad or good, but she changed her number and had no contact with me at all during the whole time that she left me on Oct. 28th. I tried 2 keep at her until Jan. 4th, but I started the No Contact laws then. Unfortunately, I found this site 2 late, already after I did the NC. I also think that she left me 2 be with this guy, even though she told me that she just wanted 2 be by herself and needed 2 be alone 4 now. I don't know, just wondering if people were in my situation and ended up back with there ex's and it went good 4 them, that's all.

 

Thank U everyone,

 

-Solo34

[Slagar]

I myself am in that situation at the moment. Pretty much exactly the same actually.

It's nice to think that they might return some day, but in reality, the chances are very slim. Also, considering the breakup was a fair while ago now, chances are she's moved on. All in all, there is little point in wasting your time and energy thinking about or hoping that she will return some day. Besides, as RooferGirl says, getting back together with an ex is very risky business. The best thing you can do is try to forget about her, and move on. I know it hurts, but if you focus on yourself, after a while, you'll realise you're not even thinking of her anymore. You will find someone, never give up hope

 

Best of luck

[texasman123]

I have to say that my ex and I broke up (she with me over commitment issues) about 2 and a half months ago. for the last month I have been dating someone else and she has not dated at all. I have really liked the new girl I have dated but there seemed something missing. Last night I finally (after about 2 weeks of asking) went out to dinner with my ex and the connection was amazing. I had really forgotten what it was like and we totally hit it off again. What will happen in the future I have no idea, but it made me realize the difference in feelings I had for my ex as oposed to the new girl I was seeing...

[solo34]

Thanks, but I have 2 admit that I have been focusing on me, but I love her so much, that I hate how I let her slip away by my lack of actions. I am really messed up. I KNEW that she was the one, and she also KNEW that I was the one. It's just that she grew tired of my lack of action, only thing I was good at was talking it seems. Now, since I lost her, I am trying harder than ever. It just makes me think "why the HELL didn't I try as hard when I had her?!" Now, she's got a man in her life, and he's sure 2 find out how wonderful that she is, and I'm sure that he isn't going 2 lose her like I did. All I need is another shot at her when I'm finally on my feet.

 

See, when we got 2gether, I was all set...I was on my feet and in control of my life. Then, 2 make a long story short, I tried 2 better myself and go 2 school so that I could make a better future 4 myself and her. Well, things got rough, she ended up taking care of me financially and I was 2 much down emotionally and mentally...and that weighed heavy upon her. Plus, the job search wasn't going good 4 me. I only had a whack little part time gig. I guess, enough was enough, and she went 4 someone already on his feet and stable. It hurts 2 know that I let this wonderful woman go by my lack of actions and not caring enough about myself the way I care 4 her.

 

My friend tells me "Solo, she loved U once, man, she can love U again." I just don't know about that. Maybe, and I mean MAYBE, if this guy doesn't work out 4 her, and I'm on my feet again, then it could be possible. I PROMISE myself, her, and all of us on here and in the world that NEVER got that 2nd chance at love with THE ONE, that I won't mess it up again. I really have learned from my many mistakes that I've listed here. It's been some time, so I've had long enough 2 reflect(almost 5mths.)

 

It's just that right now, life is so hard 4 me, and I hate being so smart after the fact....I hope that all of us that have learned get out 2nd chances 2 do it right. I love this woman.

 

-Solo34

[Mun]

If you are sure that the only reason she left you is because of the committment and money issues then as soon as you get that together you better go after her. Who cares if she has another man. I've not known men to let that stop them -so go for it. But you better be sure that you are ready. Don't approach her if you still have doubts.

 

Know that there are no guarantees though. Some people don't believe that others can and will change and she just might be one of those.

 

Best of luck to you

[solo34]

Thank U Mun and TexasMan!!

 

TexasMan,

 

What U said makes VERY much sense, and I was kind of wondering if my ex would think/feel the same things. Like the pieces that were missing with her new guy that she loved about me. However, there isn't any contact, so it's all upon her.

 

Mun,

 

What U said makes so much sense. However, seeing as her family is all my friends (she has a large family, and her friends I grew up with.), I figure that she would definitely hear about my progress, and since I've been in no contact with her, it would peak her curiosity about me all that much more. I totally understand and respect what you're saying about goin' 4 what I want, because that was my inital thought process. However, upon talking with my friend that's a woman, she told me 2 just let her hear about it through her family connections and all that. I'm just not sure what 2 do...do I go 4 it when I'm ready (which would be hard because I know she's got a man, and a new number that I'm not aware of. Plus I don't want 2 just send an email or show up at her house.) or do I let the "grapevine" let her know?

 

Thank U everyone...

 

-Solo34

[majord23]

I was dumped in early December 2002, she met someone else in late December 2002.

Her family hated him (and still do apparently lol)....they're still together and are getting married later this year.

 

At the time I was a wreck (when she met him) and it was made even harder by the fact that I was great friends with her brother...as I couldn't just end our friendship because the r/s had ended.

 

I battled through the pain and we (her brother and I) are still firm friends. He is the best thing to come out of any relationship that I have ever had.

 

As for her, I haven't seen her for about 3 years and to be honest am quite relieved that we broke up....we were bad news together, and I'd hate to think that it'd be me walking down the aisle with her *shudders* lol

[solo34]

Wow, sorry that happened 2 U. But not even close 2 where my relationship was. It was wonderful, but my issues made it tough 4 her, plus 4 the fact that I was her 1st REAL BF.

 

-Solo34

[majord23]

Wow, sorry that happened 2 U. But not even close 2 where my relationship was. It was wonderful, but my issues made it tough 4 her, plus 4 the fact that I was her 1st REAL BF.

 

-Solo34

 

Hey solo,

Sorry mate, I wasn't comparing my situation to yours - just answering the topic of the thread.

 

Don't be sorry about my situation - at the time it was hell, but it launched me into so many realisations about myself that it made my head spin. I have never made the same mistakes that I made with her (have invented some new ones ) but also realised that I romanticised the relationship for about 6 months post break-up.

 

It was a great experience in retrospect.

[solo34]

Oh, no offense taken my friend. Just wanted 2 differentiate between the 2 of our ex's, that's all.

 

-Solo34

[ginger25]

I had an ex break up with me and then decide that he wanted to get back together four months later, just when I was beginning to accept things and try to move on. The worst thing was, we went on a date and it was awful cos our feelings just weren't the same and we both felt really sad about it. Having said that I think it is possible that people can get back together and be happy, it just depends on the circumstances. I just really try to believe that if something is meant to be it will be, as cliched as it sounds!

[solo34]

No, totally agree...if it's meant 2 be, then regardless, it will happen 4 us and our ex's. Thank U 4 your input, Ginger25.

 

Thank U everyone.

 

-Solo34