**Seeing Porn Through Someone Elses Eyes**

[LiquidCherry]

At first I minded that my boyfriend watched porn but now it doesn't really bother me too much. He actually went through and showed it all to me. He even showed me the ones he has because the different girls remind him of me in various ways. For some reason that helped me a lot, just knowing what it was he was looking at. He also doesn't mind if I look at porn, in fact, I think it's encouraged. I really don't but he's gone as far to buying me a video he thought I would like. He did pretty good but again, porn just isn't my thing. I did find that I became less threatened by it after watching it together though. I suppose I'm kind of neutral on the subject now, so long as it's not an addiction.

[novaseeker]

It's hard for me to relate personally to final paragraph of the OP's post, I must admit. I suppose I view porn as a fantasy and a release mechanism, a relaxtion. I don't think I would be upset if my partner were watching porn, in fact my most recent ex (another guy, btw) and I used to watch porn together and it usually led to fun sexual encounters, but we both knew that we also looked at porn alone as well. I guess I never felt threatened by it at all, even though I scarcely resemble the men in the porn videos. I "knew" what my ex was "using" the porn for, and it wasn't as a substitute for regular sex with me, because we had regular, enjoyable sex together. As I've always written, when porn use gets in the way of regular live sex with your partner, then it's clearly an issue, but otherwise I don't see it as an issue, because in my own life I've had partners who were also consumers of porn and we still had great sex.

 

But from the personal to the general ....

 

I suspect that much of the animus many women feel about porn (other than the cultural issue, in terms of religious or other ideological objections to pornography in general) has to do with the close identification (in many women) between body image, self-esteem and a sense of being valued. The idea of bf/husband looking at porn is threatening to the body image concept of some women (hence the often-asked "why is he looking at them when he has me to look at"), it threatens their self-esteem because they question whether their bf/husband really *does* find them all that attractive, if he feels "the need" to ogle the women in the porn videos .. in other words, it's very important to the self-esteem of (some/many) women to be considered physically attractive in terms of body image, particularly by their bf/husband, and the idea of the bf/husband ogling other women (particularly the fantasized women of porn), undermines their confidence that he finds them attractive, and creates feelings of inadequacy due to the (generally false) belief that their bf/husband no longer finds them desirable or attractive, because she doesn't look like the women in porn, and he likes to look at the women in porn. It's all tied together with the important role that body image and physical attractiveness/desirablility play in the self-esteem and self-valuing of many women, I think.

 

Men don't relate to that very well, I think, because while physical attractiveness and body image are also components of male self-esteem, for most straight men at least they are not nearly as pronounced in terms of importance for self-esteem as for many women. So a man is far less likely to feel "threatened" by his partner looking at images of other men in porn, than many women would be. He's not as likely to think his partner is comparing him to the men in the videos and finding him to be inadequate as a result. And I think that's the main reason why men don't relate to women when women express why they are upset with porn watching ... they may understand it intellectually, but they don't relate to it, because it isn't generally the case that a man would be threatened in that way, in terms of his own self-worth and self-esteem, in quite the same way that many women might be.

[eriko]

There are always two women in my life; My lover and Jill. My lover gets the attention 95% of the time, and Jill gets it 5% of the time. Who is Jill you may ask? Hold out your right hand in front of you, palm facing outward. What do your fingers spell?

 

Yea, it's nothing personal, its just that sometimes us guys just want to be alone and please ourselves the exact way we like it.

[spunkykatt]

That was a great explanation novaseeker, finally a answer that goes in depth of the male mind. I found your response very intellectual, and its very interesting to say the least. Im glad you responded to my post, and hopefully others will read your response and maybe start to grasp the ideas that are in a guys head when he views porn. Thank you.

[mash27]

I joined just to reply to this threat since I found so many misguided ideas all over the place.

 

Ok here's what I think.

 

First of all, while many chemicals are responsible for sexual response in the human body, testosterone is the MAIN sex hormone in both males and females. Testosterone is THE sex hormone and men have much more of it than females. In fact I read somewhere that a woman who was injected with amounts of testosterone equivalent to what men have, said

"Now I can understand how it must feel like in the head of a rapist".

 

Both sexes want sex but men want it more; they are designed to seek it, to take risks for it, to approach females, to fight for the attention of females. These are the effects of testosterone and it's what's responsible for the competitive drive in males, for muscles, for aggression, for strength. Male sex drive is active; why else do women wait for men to approach? If female sex drive is higher than men's then why don't they approach us all the time asking for sex to satisfy their huge sex drive? Simply because their sex drives operates differently than men's.

 

Females have 1 egg only that needs to be taken care of each month, while men have millions of sperms screaming to be released each day.

The fact is that men are the seed spreaders and are designed to be more promiscuous and spread that seed into all the holes that will take it. Men seek variety and that's why they are always looking around for women even if they have a girlfriend. Women should not be offended that men keep looking at other women in the street or in porn. It's a natural essential drive.

 

In a period of 9 months a female can have only one baby no matter how many times and with how many partners she has sex, while a man can have as many as his charm and stamina will allow him. These physiological differences have to be taken into consideration instead of brushed aside.

 

Also because pregnancy is a big deal, women are much more selective with who they have sex. They need to make sure they're doing it with a dominant male who is capable of supporting them and will stick around. So in nature weak males are weeded out by females and the former find themselves without sex (thus prostitutes and porn).

 

Men don't have this problem, sex is simpler for them and they are less selective than women since less is at stake (no pregnancy).

 

Porn exists for the same reasons that prostitutions exists. Because the masculine demand for sex is greater than the feminine supply.

 

Finally, both sexes are visual, but how could anyone deny than men are WAAAAY more visual.

Men are so visual than women have to constantly hide parts of their bodies in some way or another.

I doubt that a totally naked man walking downtown would solicit as much attention as a totally naked woman. Men are designed to respond to the sight of a female body. Women enjoy the male body but in a different way. Attraction for them is more acoustic, olfactory, and emotional. For every 100 strip clubs catering to men, there are only 2 catering to women. Men can spend all day watching naked women but can women spend all day watching naked men? I didn't think so.

 

Basically what I’m saying is that the arguments of the first post are utterly misleading and unsound.

 

Another comment I want to respond to is someone mentioning that men are unintelligent or simple creatures. This is certainly the message that the mass media is trying to spread today: men are stupid slobs and women are smart. Anyone who believes that is totally brainwashed. Just look at the greatest painters, musicians, cooks, designers, architects, engineers, doctors, composers, philosophers, scientists, writers... they are all men. Men are complex beings and they are responsible for all the intellectual creations and achievements of humanity. The realm of thought belongs to males, it is a natural quality of being male, just like the motherly instict is a natual quality of being female. Each sex is designed to carry out certain fuctions and is adapted for them. Men cannot get pregant, they cannot give life, only seed. Thus they give birth to thought, to intellectual things, they have their eyes set to the sky, they are dreamers and thinkers (thus the male symbole pointing upwards) while women are responsible for giving life, raising familes and being anchors for society (thus the female symbole ponting downward firm in the ground).

 

It's just the way nature is. Enlighten yourselves.

[WildChild]

I have been enlightened by this post, and as some of you may know the majority of the threads I have started have been based on this exact issue. I am tossed on many of the responses and actually feel hypocritical because I can see and agree to many of the opinions you have all shared.

 

I don't know necessarily is porn is right or wrong. I think it strongly depends on the people within the relationship. I think in situations like mine, I feel secure about myself until I see what it actually is that my bf views while watching porn, much younger women than both he and I. I try to examine if my insecurity is because my ex had an affair with "woman" who was 19 when they met? I was 31 and he was 36. I know there are areas I could improve on body wise, but am in no way overweight. I have had two children C-section (and two miscarriages) so my body has had it's ups and downs. I have suffered from bulimia (unbeknownst to my current bf) because of constant watchful eyes of my parents and me and my sister's weight and food intake. I know I don't fit into the body image that my current bf would desire. But then I question, if I actually did weigh what he secretly (and sometimes not secretly desired) would I be still be in the same situation as I am now. Would me weighing 120 cure the fixation he seems to have. Or would there be some other criteria I "would have to meet." I know that he is with me for who I am as a person, but what if he met someone like me who had the body he looks at while viewing porn? We are all responsible for our own thoughts, but if a person is constantly reminded of who you aren't no one here can say you wouldn't start questioning "What is wrong with me?!"

 

However the glich is that prior to this relationship I had a certain mindset of sexuality within my relationship with my exhusband. I wasn't one to explore much even though he wanted to. I don't know why. I find myself in my current relationship wanting to explore, experiment and try new things. I have found myself more sexual with him and I know deep down it is because he has brought that side out of me that I have been taught is taboo. Could my resentment be because I see what he watches, but yet he chooses to not find that enjoyment with me and when he does it is rare. Is it because he looks at younger women? Could it be because even if they aren't younger, their bodies are something mine is not? Or is it really nothing to do with me, but he himself. The desire to have the perfect image regardless if they are on the internet or not.

 

I know based on my discussions with him that he has about done it all. He has had droves of women but I am the second serious relationship he has had in his 38 years. In his previous relationship his gf was very skinny (due to drugs) but their sexual relationship didn't always mesh. I ask myself if he has experimented as much as he has, why does he hesitate with me but watches porn? He commented to me a few weeks back that his issue with me is my "constant" need for sex and that it has been that way since day one. I have never slept around, and any man I slept with I was dating. However with him, I slept with him the night we met. I hadn't been with anyone for a year prior to me sleeping with him but had opportunities to do so prior to me meeting him and he knows this. Is this not a double standard? His belief that my need for sex since day one is an issue, but yet he will watch internet porn any chance he gets whether I am around or not? But yet denies that he watches it and says he doesn't like it. He wants me to wear sexy lingerie but yet tells me to get dressed so the neighbors don't see me if I have on a Tshirt and panties.

 

I give you this as a recent scenerio this last Saturday night. We were going out for dinner, dancing and drinks. As always I had on sexy undergarments and had given him a sneek peek prior to getting fully clothed. While in town we stopped to pick up movies. At a spur of the moment we stepped into the adult room at the store. I had never been in one of those rooms and actually was amazed at the huge selection. I wanted to pick something out, but I didn't know what to even begin to select and because there were other men in there I didn't want to stand in there debating like I was picking out new china. He commented to me that we needed to get out of there and gave some funny comment because of arrousal. Of course that set the anticipation for us to get home. When we arrive home (keeping in mind we had come from the porn room a few hours prior) I start to seductively undress and commented maybe I should keep my long black leather boots on. You know what his comment to me was? "You're weird." Of course I become mad and basically say why bother trying, and why waste money on stuff to try to keep him appealed.

 

So there it is. I can't win for losing. I try to dress and act sexy and I am told I am weird. I try to live out fantasies and nothing happens. I dress in lingerie and I am told to get dressed. He has had sex more than god knows who, but yet I am told sex is all I think about and get it once a month if I am lucky. So I ask myself and any one of us, how would anyone of us not be confused, sad, humiliated or angry. Theories or not, scientific findings or not, it boils down to the human desire. It boils down to wanting the vixen on the screen but not in the bedroom. It boils down to me finding myself insecure about myself, and my desires to explore with him. It boils down to no matter what anyone says, you watch what you desire. It is no different than sitting down and watching movies you like. If you like comedy's that's what you watch. If you like scary movies, that is what you watch. Porn is no different.

[Dako]

WC,

That's one of the most moving things I've read.

Thanks.

[spunkykatt]

Ok Mash, while I in no way agree with your post, you have every right to say it. Furthermore, while I was reading through my tears of laughter I noted that you said my post was unfounded, I beg to differ. Every fact that I stated can be researched and proven through medical and physc. journals...so please refrain from saying what I wrote was untrue. I stated basic knowledge found and PUBLISHED in several medical journals, as well as one of the textbooks used to teach human bio. at Harvard. Now unless you are saying that they are not telling the truth and all the printed facts that I researched are untrue, please just keep your post to your opinion. Thank you, and I enjoyed the laugh you brought me...ahh..

[melrich]

Hi Spunkykatt,

 

Your post is interesting and i won't argue with your research but I think you have overlooked 2 significant factors,

 

1. 99% of pornography is MADE for men. It depicts sex from a male point of view and accounts maninly for common male fantasies.

 

2. Very often it is not the porn per se that women have an issue with. It is the secretiveness of the activity. "If it is all harmless and good fun, why isn't he open about it."

 

This is my experience. I am not a big fan of porn either. when my partner and I discuss, her comments actually support what you are saying. She does get turned on by porn, but not the type of porn most men watch. She's happy to see two people making love, she's not happy to see a guy ejaculating all over the face of a woman.

 

Secondly she is happy for me to look at porn if I ever wanted to. But not behind her back.

 

This is a generalisation but i think the aversion women have developed towards porn is more about the way most porn depicts sex and the often closeted atmosphere in which it is used.

 

Finally some research I know of and is well established. Paraphilias are almost exclusively the domain of males (98%). Often the only outlet for paraphilias is porn particularly at the extreme end. It is this "hidden" realm that I think often embeds as a bias amongst women about what exactly porn is.

[ShySoul]

I agree with melrich's post, particular on the fact that the biggest problem with porn that I've noticed has been that it is kept secret from her. That violates the trust and open communication that successful relationships and marriages need to have. After all, if it has nothing to do with not finding her desirable and is no big deal, then why hid it? That just reinforces the idea in a women's head that porn is wrong and that the guy doesn't love her or find her attractive if he needs to be sneaking away to watch it.

 

To avoid the issue, a couple should discuss the topic once things have gotten serious enough for them to be having discussions on sexual matters. Both people should be completely honest, and then they can each come to a conclusion on where porn stands in the relationship, acceptable or not.

[spunkykatt]

Ahh, finally...I can agree with someone. I do agree with you melrich that porn is made to appeal to the vast majoritiy of men, and while its true most women are more upset by the fact their men are watching porn in seceret...I think women are bothered more so of the fact of how porn objectifies women. I find it very hard to find a man who will agree on this point though, while yes its true porn appeals to the fantasy of having sex with muliple willing women, it also subconsciously portrays women as less of a person, not equal to that of the man. I dont know how many times I have watched porn, and suddenly find myself becoming disassociated from it, and start to analyze it, and when I do that, I become more sad than anything. Its true some women do enjoy the acts being played out in the movie, but as a general consinus, women Dont enjoy or want to be treated in the manner that is being veiwed in the porn. I know, I know, men say its fanatasy, not real, etc...but when exposed to enough its proven that people can and will change their perception of an act to then become accepting of a otherwise demeaning act. The Stockholme Effect.... Im just saying, that while yes porn can be debated and there woulld never be a conclusion to what is acceptable, moral, ethical, or just right or wrong....people should relize that women arent just objecting to the secret viewing of porn, I honestly think its deeper rooted then that, I think its the objection of how women are portrayed in porn, and here is the point I want to stress.....How generally men act to this portrayal of women, that is what I think is the deeper issue. My view on porn isnt important, its my view of how I feel when my partner views porn that is important, and how I find myself questioning "Is this really how he sees women, or is this what he wants to do to me secretely" Noticed I included secretely in that last statement, simply because men usually watch porn in secret, and thus is his ideas of how he would like to act or treat me being kept secret...

[spunkykatt]

Oh another thing melrich, you said your gf is happy for you to look at porn just so long as its not behind her back...right. Well I think for most women that is the general feeling, mainly because if he is watching something that is completely humilating to a women, then she can give her opnion too, rather than him watch it and over time possibly devolpe a misconstrued idea of what a woman wants or how sex is percieved. I agree with your gf 100% btw. I dont mind my bf watching it, but if he is going to I would rather him do it with me their rather than keep it from me, at least then I can say "hey thats wrong" etc....and feel like Im not letting myself be degrated in secret.

[melrich]

simply because men usually watch porn in secret, and thus is his ideas of how he would like to act or treat me being kept secret...

 

Yes and no. There are many common depictions in mainstream porn that would correspond to mainstream male fantasies. Fantasies they may be willing to share.

 

But you have a compounding issue that it may not be their significant other that they would want to share that with, I believe there is a hint of the Madonna complex in all males.

 

In fact faced with actually having to enact these fantasies I know of many men who would actually run a mile. Some activities are fun and safe because they remain fantasies. So even though these fantasies are normal and shareable, they may never see the light of day.

 

Then if you factor in the more medium to extreme paraphilias they are likely to never be shared. So there are many reasons why a significant proprtion of male fantasies are actually not shared with their significant other and hence a proliferation of porn catering more and more to the extreme edges of these fantasies and a proliferation of people willing to perform these fantasies for remuneration.

[novaseeker]

But what about the extremely popular dominatrix fantasies, for example? Are these also portraying the woman as not equal to (as in below) the man? Yet I still think many women are troubled by these images as well.

 

I do agree that some porn is degrading to women, by the way ... and personally I don't enjoy that kind of imagery either.

[melrich]

gf is happy for you to look at porn just so long as its not behind her back

 

Yes and as long as it was not all consuming and did not become a substitute for our sex life.

 

if he is watching something that is completely humilating to a women, then she can give her opnion too

 

Yes I think she would be concerned if I was turned on by something that was degrading to either the male or the female participating on the screen.

 

I think that is what I was trying to say before in terms of paraphilias, it is as much about women IMAGINING what the content of the porn is as what the actual content is.

[melrich]

But what about the extremely popular dominatrix fantasies, for example? Are these also portraying the woman as not equal to (as in below) the man? Yet I still think many women are troubled by these images as well.

 

Yes because it is still predominantly a male fantasy. The woman may be cracking the whip but generally because the male wants her to.

 

You have a choice of two jobs, one you can whip your best friend until they pass out or two you can be whipped by your best friend until they pass out.

 

Which one would you choose? And which one do you think would be easier?

[novaseeker]

I dont disagree, but it isnt degrading to women, that's my point. It is still objectifying (all porn is that), but not degrading per se to the woman. Hence I think there's more to it than the issue of porn being degrading to women.

[melrich]

No I don't think it's necessarily degrading to women either. You said,

 

I still think many women are troubled by these images as well.

 

I do think the dominatrix image causes conflicting emotions for many women. They may see the image of power but understand it is still usually only catering for the need of a male.

 

That's what i thought you meant by being troubled by that image.

[novaseeker]

I agree. It is troubling, but likely for a different reason than being degrading (I was responding to that bit in Spunkykatt's post, by the way, about how women found porn to be troubling because it is degrading to women, but I think at least for some porn there are other issues at play).

[melrich]

Oh for sure, there are all sorts of issues at play. I think when you discuss things like this you have to accept that you are only talking in reasonably general terms.

[spunkykatt]

All Im saying is that being a woman, and looking at it completely from that point of view..(not saying I have nor share that idea) but that 1.) Women feel threatened by porn because its porn. Its another woman that their partner is looking at for a means of release, and no matter how untrue men may say that is, women will see it just as that. Its either black or white so to speak, if hes not looking at me then hes looking at someone else...brings up alot of self esteem issues for alot of women.

2.) (I think I fall more into this area myself if I were to have a strong bias on it) The material viewed gives men the wrong idea in general. If you want to see a girl get a facial in order to achieve climax then ideally your perception of sex is somewhat desensitized. This is not to say there are women who dont enjoy it, but its not the norm. If one is seeking out abnormal acts to find release then its only natural that they will become unfazed by what they see now and receive enjoyment from, and will look for more erotic and questionable material to achieve same the same goal later on. Also how can we be sure as a society that what we watch doesnt spill over into real life, if porn is so easily accessable, then arent we just playing with pandoras box?

[mash27]

"you said my post was unfounded, I beg to differ. Every fact that I stated can be researched and proven through medical and physc. journals"

 

My facts too can be researched and proven through medical and physc. journals.

 

 

"...so please refrain from saying what I wrote was untrue."

 

Unless I can see CREDIBLE sources, what you wrote didn't make sense at all to me and doesn't agree with the facts on the ground.

Why isn't there a huge porn industry catering to women's fantasies for instance?

Why don't women pay to have sex with male prostitutes?

Your post doesn't answer these questions, mine does. We are dealing with reality here, not some ideal fantasy about what genders are like.

 

"I stated basic knowledge found and PUBLISHED in several medical journals, as well as one of the textbooks used to teach human bio. at Harvard."

 

Unless u can present valid, well constructed solid arguments to back your views, mentioning Journals and textbooks and throwing the word "Harvard" doesn't impress me at all.

 

 

"Now unless you are saying that they are not telling the truth and all the printed facts that I researched are untrue, please just keep your post to your opinion."

 

I'm saying YOU'RE not saying the truth. Stand for yourself, don't hide behind journals, textbooks and Harvard. People can read all sorts of different things, it's what they make of it that counts.

My post represents my opinion, what else would it represent?

 

"Thank you, and I enjoyed the laugh you brought me...ahh.."

 

your post on the other hand left me cold. There was nothing remarkable or enlightening about it.

My post makes you laugh now, but it will make you smile when you are older and wiser.

[otherside]

Interesting to read the various posts on this subject, however, in the end, the general tone, set from the first post, remains the same: women tells men they are bad for viewing porn because it hurts women; men either defend themselves with varying success, or deny it all together, saying they are different, they are not like others, they don't like porn.

 

My summary and analysis:

 

First, men who deny they like porn, generally are either: those who are just trying to win points with the female audience ("I'm different), prefer images not considered porn in their sexual thoughts (some men are more turned on by clothed women/body parts more subtle in their sexual display), don't use imagery in sexual thoughts because they are getting multiple women in reality, have lost their sexual drive, or are perhaps in that short phase in which they are so infatuated by a particular female, they don't think of others (does this last variant every really last?).

 

So yes, women, men into women sexually are always thinking of females as sexual objects – no matter it's porn or not.

 

Is this a surprise? I think not, but yet, the constant attacks on men for their sexual fixation/objectification of women. One of the main reasons for this, I believe, is that some women are led to believe that some men are "different" (no need/want to have sex with multiple beautiful women) and thus want their own mates to be that way. The sooner this is cleared up as not true, I believe, the sooner women will stop expecting men to be ways they are not, and the sooner they will either except men as what they are, or move on to that elusive "greener" pasture.

 

Regarding porn, women should consider: would you rather that your mate spend time and money actually fulfilling their desires with real women? Perhaps, have they not considered, that it is precisely because sex is not all that men value in their female companionship, that many men view porn? After all, most men like their women for many other reasons, and are not wanting to risk such an important and loved relation because of their fancy of multiple female flesh. So, they limit their quest to the fantasy of images, in hopes of keeping what they value most: the one they LOVE. Of course, what they view is often kept hidden, because men are tired of women judging what they like as bad. This is not to condemn women for judging men in such way; after all, many of these images represent real people that their men would also really like to do in reality, and thus represent the very real threat of their men leaving them for some new healthy young woman. So, how can men and women come together on this? Well, if a women wants to be close with her man, she can learn to appreciate what turns him on – tease him about it maybe, but never condemn him for it. After all, pictures are just that, pictures. Much safer than secret extramarital affairs, don't you think? Now, of course, if a man is so obsessed with others that he is never attentive to a women's needs, that's another issue.

 

Regarding the original poster use of role reversal to show how insensitive men are being to a women's feelings, I don't think it works. Men and women are not the same, what's good for the gander is not necessarily what's good for the goose. Men and women do not live the same lives, and role reversal scenario here simply does not work, or accomplish anything. It is a fact that most porn is produced for and viewed by men. If women viewed porn just as much, we would not be having this discussion. Why do we have these differences? The biological perspective discussed in above posts makes most sense to me. Also, consider that if a female is sleeping around with lots of men, her mate may spend all his life raising other mens children without even knowing, while a female knows when a child is hers. Thus, as with many other mammals, the male sex has an even stronger interest in keeping his mate from having sexual relations with other males.

 

Regarding porn objectifying and degrading women. First, if objectifying a human or part of a human is always so bad, then I guess sexual instinct is just bad. That I simply do not agree with. Also, is what women want sexually so much better? On what is degrading, that is a matter of "taste". No matter what you may consider on this topic, however, studies have shown that with the increase in access to pornography, instances of rape have gone down.

 

So, where does that leave us? I say we all stop being so judgmental of others. Only in that way will communication open up, and only in that way, can you find true love.

[melrich]

women tells men they are bad for viewing porn because it hurts women; men either defend themselves with varying success, or deny it all together, saying they are different, they are not like others, they don’t like porn.

 

I don't think that is what this post is about at all.

 

So yes, women, men into women sexually are always thinking of females as sexual objects – no matter it’s porn or not.

 

There are a number of major generalisations in your post that make quantum leaps but this one really stood out. No doubt there are some men like this, and possibly in a certain age bracket this may be more true but there are way too many men as defined in your statement that don't think this way to make such a generalisation.

[Dako]

Interesting way you dismiss men who don't like porn. Makes for a tidy theory!

 

It truly is possible to be so in love you don't hardly notice other women. Since my wife dumped me, I'm only starting to notice how amazing other women are. No, it didn't last more than 27 years. If you haven't been in that situation, it's your loss.

 

As far as porn, I find myself more influenced by real women words and ideas than footage of a bimbo grinding away for the camera. To me, that's depressing on many levels. I especially don't see the charm of Ron Jeremy's tool in the money shot. I don't get it.

 

At 53, somehow I WISH my sex drive was diminished.

 

BTW, I didn't care for porn in my 20s either.