I dunno if this is consider abuse, if it is wut is it??

[zenonthesequel]

Hi people,

Ok, I'm new here and basically I'm getting fed up with this crap I'm getting. But thing is I dunno if this is consider like abuse. Here goes: nearly 3 yrs relation and everything was fine until like 5 months ago he started with the critisims and like sarcastic comments, even when I had a problem for ex: flunk an exam or was stress, he wasn't helpful at all, instead he would just laugh or say "agh ur exxagerating or "Oh well u prollie flunk that exam cuz u were never good in that subect and so on". I can't figure out wut the heck is wrong with him, he was supportive and now he's not and sometimes he ignores me. He even compare me to his ex and say how prettier and more understanding was she than me, he says that even in front of my parents and friends, he also criticism my friends. Yes I know everyone's telling, even my parents on wut a loser he is, but yet I still love him.

Well I thought he was gonna change that "I don't care attitude already" cuz there was a point like around 2 months ago, I really got so mad, I just lost it, I smack so hard giving him a black eye, and basically punch him, but heck I was mad, he wouldn't stop with those mean sarcastic jokes/comments and comparing me with his ex. Well everyone saw it, and say he deserve it, after that he say he was gonna change and would stop. It was ok for like only 2 weeks, then it he started with that crap again. Wut do I people, he won't stop and it's making me angry again, it's frustrating me, I think I even have a bit of my self-esteem and self-confidence lower cuz of him, he's not supportive and ignores me, he's not there when I need him, wut the hec is wrong with him, why did he changed so much?

[ElektraHere]

Ok first off you need to get a handle on your temper. There is no call for ANYONE man or woman to hit. Also why do you want to be with someone who brings out that type of rage in you? I would suggest you leave the relationship and work on yourself for awhile. If his ex is so great then let him go back to her. The person you are with should only bring out the best in you and be part of your cheering section not dumping on you and comparing you with his ex.

So yes this is an abusive relationship he does the mental you the physical. Also people don't change so let that thought within go. He is going to be the same in 1 year as he is today.

[BellaDonna]

It sounds like it's neglect. You feel ignored by him. This causes you emotional stress. In some cases this can be called "emotional abuse".

 

No matter what you call it- This relationship is clearly not working out for you.

 

Keep in mind he can only abuse/neglect/treat you bad if you let him. His behavior shows that he is not going to change. Are you going to continue to stay with him and take it? If you want this bad treatment to end- you have to leave the relationship.

 

It soudns like a very unhealthy situation for both of you- especially if he is being passive-aggressive verbally, and you attacked him physically.

 

BellaDonna

[yeawutever]

It's is emotional abuse and you shouldn't be taking that type of behavior from him. But also do keep in mind that this doesn't serve you the right to hit him. So, neither of you are right for the other. Might as well break up, he ain't gonna change.

[Morning_dew]

Lots of anger in here. No hitting please. Just dump him.

[ShySoul]

Absolutely this is emotional abuse. You were justified in being angry with him, though hitting wasn't the best solution. You are unhappy in this relationship and its best to leave now. It's ok that you still love him, he has been a good guy to you in the past and you still love and miss that part of him. But for whatever reason, he's changed and the way he is now is only hurting you. You deserve better then this. Lots of other guys are out there who wouldn't put you through this. In the end, you need to be happy and this guy isn't going to make you happy. So please, leave the relationship before it gets worse.

[tyler711]

The word abuse carries heavy connotations. I wouldn't immediately jump to that term for either of you. There are two sides to the story, and I'm sure there's some aggravating as well as mitigating factors about both of you that we can't read. I will say that I think he is neglecting you. Maybe he is bored, maybe the relationship got stale so he reverts back to exciting times with someone else. Who knows? You did hit him, but it is not a constant thing. Your anger with his comments reached a boling point and that was your release valve. If it's a one time thing, then there's definitely room for improvement in the relationship. It doesn't sound like he will change, but its unfair to say he never will. The fault to me sounds 50/50 and I think you two should sit down and talk and either agree to take a break or work things out. Best of luck!