SadHatter Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Hi guys, This is going to be a bit of a strange post in that I would like some answers to some questions without actually having to ask my ex-gf herself as I am in no contact! It sounds stupid because nobody knows exactly what she's thinking, but as she is 17 (I am 23, we live in the UK, it's legal!) I figure some women especially will know what she is thinking. We'd been together a year...when I met her in a club, I danced with her on the dancefloor and she informed me that she had split up amicably with her boyfriend (who was the same age as me) two day ago. Anyway, next thing, she's ramming her tongue down my throat and we were together for the next year. At Xmas, I looked on her mobile phone (she didnt know this). I read her text messages and there were texts from a guy on there that she worked with...he was 18 (so 5 years younger than me). We'd been talking about getting our own place this year, something that she seemed to be pushing even more than me, as I have just finished university and now have the money to be able to get my own flat. She said she couldn't wait to get our own place. Anyway, her phone had messages from this guy saying that he thought she was really hot and the next said, "I am being totally serious...I think you're gorgeous". So, she'd obviously accused him of lying or said, "Are you being serious" or words to that effect. The next day she tells me he's texted her this stuff (she had no idea I already knew, I know this for certain) so I think she obviously is being honest and I have nothing to worry about. So, we have this argument at Xmas and we didn't speak for the next few days. New Year's Eve I rang her and she was at a party with all her friends and she said to me, "My New Years Resolution is to give you up" and all her friends cheered in the background. It made me feel awful and lonely. I don't understand why her "friends" dislike me so much - I think she exaggerates to them or something. She is very insecure as a person, all of my family have noted this. So, after New Years Eve, we don't talk for about a week. I ring her then and say I am sorry, can we sort this out. She is very cold, uninterested etc. and then, after about 5/6 phone calls during the week, finally admits that she likes someone else. Anyway, it turns out she's been seeing this guy she works with (who the texts were on her phone from that I read) since about three days after we had the argument. One of her mates told me and my ex-gf had been lying to me for the past two weeks and telling me she wasn't seeing anyone else. Anyway, basically, we haven't spoken since Thursday. She told me she has seen this guy every single day since they got together three weeks ago and she usually goes to his house after college and stays there until about 1am when they walk home together. However, while I am on the phone to her, he starts talking. She's with him as we are speaking at his house (his parents house)! I say to her...so what does he have that I don't and she says...well for a start he is better looking, I think so and so do all of my friends. That made me awful, I never thought she would say this to me. I proceed to ask her if she ever thinks about me/misses me and my family. She says do I want her to be honest? I say yes. She says - no. I am with someone new, sorry but I don't. I can't believe how just three weeks after we've broken up, she is with a new guy, staying at his all the time, and doesn't even think about me at all!! How can she move on so quickly!!!!!!!! Is she lying?? He then asked her if she wanted to go out that night (while I am on the phone) and she said sure, but she needs a shower first and he asks her if she wants to stay at her house the next night as they both have work at the same time the following morning. She says sure. So now I know she is staying overnight at his. I wish I didn't think about these things so much. Anyway, since then, I haven't contacted her and I don't plan to. She hasn't contacted me either. Anyway, I guess my question is - how has she moved on so quickly and how can she not even think about me after a year together? We were so close, we used to see each other pretty much every day and we spoke at least once everyday on the phone. And now...nothing. It has all stopped suddenly. Do you guys think I will ever hear from her again? I know I shouldn't care but I can't help it. Just wish she would miss me like I miss her. Like I say, I am in no contact now, but I just wondered if any girls could explain her words/actions/feelings to me? Thanks Link to comment
DN Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 I read some of your previous posts - really you should move on from this girl. She has been nothing but a problem to you for a long time - she is selfish, immature and now is treating you very heartlessly. Try to move on as soon as you can and find somebody worthwhile to love and who will love you as you deserve. Link to comment
smilelikeyoumeanit Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 She is not the right one for you. That's why this happened. Once she breaks up with this person she will come back to you, expecting for you to take her back. You will want to. But you can't. You absoutley can't. She will only cause more problems for you. One day you will find a girl that is as sweet as a flower's scent and the only wod you will be able to describe her as will be bliss. Link to comment
SadHatter Posted January 30, 2006 Author Share Posted January 30, 2006 Thanks guys. Do you think she means it when she says she never thinks about me and doesn't care about me anymore? Link to comment
DN Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 I think she probably thinks about you but I don't think she cares. I somehow doubt that she ever really cares about anyone except herself. Link to comment
bobster Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Yeah, this girl is quite nasty. Leave her alone and hope she never contacts you again. You have had an experience, I'd just leave it at that. Hundreds of far more better girls out there mate! Just have to get out there and get one that deserves you because I don't think your last girl did! All the best! Link to comment
arwen Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 I think you don't say such rude things if they aren't true... I think she's just far too immature for you. You are now a grown man, you have graduated, you will start working. She is like two whole stages behind you, she still has to finish school, then study... those are times that really change so much about who you are! I think you are far better off without her. Have a new start. Life will have great possibilities for an educated and loyal guy like you. Ilse Link to comment
hellokittykitty Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 What a terrible thing to do to someone (referring to New Years resolution)... I am a girl - so I will answe your question: I think she moved on so quickly because she wanted attention, not from you but from someone else. She probably likes drama and so she creates it for herself. This girl does not seem sincere and maybe she didn't ever appreciate you like she should have. I think you will hear from her again, when she needs something or wants you back because she realized what she lost. Some people live their lives only for themselves without a care in the world for anyone else. It is disgusting that people are like that but they are. In my opinion she is young, and on a different level than you - emotionally, maturity and mentally. She's trying to figure out who she is and hurting people in the process. It's not you, it's her... not cliche, just honest. Link to comment
hellokittykitty Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 P.S. I know you miss her... and she will miss you too... once she realizes what she lost. Link to comment
Dr Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Mate, how can I say this?; Thats british women for ya. There's a lot of insecure women in britain at the moment who are desperate to be loved. You break up she goes finds another man ASAP. Kinda says something doesn't it? You had an argument and that was enough for her to go. If you ask me she wasn't dedicated to your relationship at all. My advice? let her go. Forget about the year you had with her and see it as a learning experience. Find another NICE woman who doesn't want you instantly. That brings me to oneother point.. Next time you meet a woman who has JUST broken up with someone - STAY AWAY! Doc Link to comment
SadHatter Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 Thank you guys (and girls!). I do miss her a lot I have to say...it's not that obvious, is it?! For all her rubbish, she did have some good qualities and I do miss those and miss talking to her. I truly don't think I will ever hear from her again. Some would say that is good. Personally, even if we never get back together (it looks unlikely now this new guy is on the scene) it would still be nice to just have the satisfaction, hopefully soon, that she admits she made a mistake/misses me. So I don't feel that all her, "I love you's" weren't complete lies and meant nothing. That's the worst part. Do you think this guy is a rebound or could quite feasibly be genuine and she really likes him? They've been together now about three weeks and, as I say, she's seen him every single day. Link to comment
bobster Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I think at 23 mate, you should be looking at women I think AT LEAST 20 years of age! not daft teenagers that still don't know what life and love is!! Know what I mean? As said before, keep up the NC! You surely can't be that desperate to want her back Link to comment
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