Do Boys suck or not? MAKE YOUR CASE!

[smilelikeyoumeanit]

I am so bloody confused. One minute I hate all guys beacsue of somethign one has done, then next i like them beacsue they do something cute, adn then they turn around and do something that makes me want to kill them. SO tell me your stories, plead you case, do what you must. I want to know if guys are truly nice, or if that is just what i want to think to keep liking a certain guy (even though i think hes nice...)

 

AHHHH!

[rosstheboss]

as a guy myself i find your message slightly offensive. you can't go around thinking that if A guy does something bad then automatically ALL guys are bad.

Guys are individual people too and if you treat every member of the oposite sex as one you'll get nowhere in life and is bordering on sexist.

 

You need to start trying to treat guys as individuals.

Turn your story round. Imagine there was a guy you liked and he liked you, then a female friend of yours does something to upset him, now he hates her, you and all girls?? Sorry but thats just not right.

[icedog]

I would recommend not stereotyping men. I see at school how many guys there are by that description. But there are many who are just as understanding and caring as women. Hell, I cry to episodes of M*A*S*H and to movies. Dating's purpose is to get to know someone so you can make those distinctions. "Well, he seemed nice throughout the date" or "Wow, What an * * * * * * *!"

[BlueWolf]

Really try to get over what that other guy said to those other two girls accross the street. You've been talking about it so much like it's a big deal.

I'm surprised that you overthink these things so much.

 

BTW, can you define "nice"? There's "nice" in the boring sense. There's "nice" in the sense that they are shy. There's "nice" in the sense that they try to start a relationship using this, and then act like total a-holes. And of course, there's the "nice" in terms of modesty. People like that are hard to find these days.

[HaloDestroyer]

I really can not respect the poster for this obvious attempt to disrupt eNotAlone forum members.

 

Both men and women alike read these threads, and it is unfair to make one half share their negative opinions of the other.

 

I feel slightly offended, being a man, and coming onto the forums to find this thread. As Icedog has already said, why try to stereotype men in a place where we are obviously intelligent enough to construct valid criticisms against your argument? (Indeed, perhaps one such as this?)

 

Please think about what you actually want advice on, before making an 'umbrella post'.

[Dako]

Guys are all no good these days. They quit making good ones thirty years ago.

 

There are plenty of good guys around. It just takes a while to find them and get to know them. Meanwhile, some of them are wondering the same thing about girls.

 

You can't blame them all for what one does, nor can the virtues of one be expected from them all.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

everyones different. some girls are nice, some are mean. some boys are nice, others are mean. you simply can't let your experiences with one, dictate your feelings for them all.

[smilelikeyoumeanit]

Alright, there has been major confusion. I am about the last person to be called sexist, racist, u name it. I am deeply sorry if i truly offended the male or female populous. This was not my intent. I was venting more about a single person, and used "they" as a synonym for "he". I will now try to reconstruct the true meaning of this thread.

 

I am so bloody confused. One minute I hate all guys beacsue of something one has done (at this time i did hate all guys in my life because of what one had done, but really, this was the only one i considered to actually be in my world. This was not referring to every male on the planet.), then next i like them (him)beacsue they (he) do (does)something cute, and then they (he)turn (s) around and do (does)something that makes me want to kill (not so much kill as yell that he hurt me and what the hell were u thinking) them (him). SO tell me your (stories about how u as a male or female have experienced truly romantic acts or horrible ones from either sex) stories, plead you case (actually tell me why guys, more my guy, act like they like you for 1 and 1/2 + years through smiles, major eye contact, and just actions and speeches, and then all of a sudden do something one day to make me think they (he, sorry) never even cared, do what you must (tell me why this one guy is driving me insaine!). I want to know if guys (mine) are truly nice (nice as in respectful, loving, and caring), or if that is just what i want to think to keep liking a certain guy (even though i think hes nice...) (this last sentence jsut doesn't make any sense at all)

 

AHHHH! The verbal form of my frusturation.

 

Okay, so basically what I was trying to say is that someone kind of hurt me, but not really, i blew it way out of proportion, and now I feel like I need true stories of romance to bring back my faith in him, even though it's not fully lost. I don't know, I could be insaine (more then likley). My thoughts were obviosuly very misconstrued and I wrote the thread in an attempt to vent my frustrations and seek help. I was not very midful of what I was typing, and I really am sorry that it came off sexist. I feel aboutley horrible about that. I just need hints and signs to tell me f he likes me at all and stories about past, current, or (hopefully) future realtionships in which you met someone who truly made u happy, and the circumstances under which u met. Omce again, I apologize.

[shes2smart]

Guys are all no good these days. They quit making good ones thirty years ago.

 

Yup...that'd be about right...I got the last one and he turned 30 last July

 

smilelikeyoumeanit - Some guys behave badly, some don't. Some are cruel, some are nice. Some are selfish, some are giving. Sometimes conflicting traits occur within the same person at different times, with different people and in different circumstances.

 

You cannot control what others do or how other people are. You will only make yourself incredibly frustrated if you try.

 

What you can control is who you choose to spend your time with, and how you allow yourself to be treated. If you continually find yourself with people in general & guys in particular who treat you poorly, it might be a good idea to think about why you put up with that and start doing things differently.

[ShySoul]

Men are idiots. Unfortunately they are needed to keep the species going. So you have to tolerate us.

 

It all depends on the individual. Some men will be complete jerks, and there are a lof of guys out there like that. Similarly, some women will be jerks. On the other hand, some women are great and some men are great. Yes, in general I find women to be smarter, nicer, and more caring. But there are men out there who are just as good. There are nice guys (which simple means good guys who do the right thing and are respectful and nice), who will treat you well. These guys just seem to get crowded out by the jerks who seem more prevalent and loud. Also, you are young which means that many guys are still maturing. Girls generally mature faster then guys, so there may seem like no good guys around you. But in time the guys will shapen up. And at heart, we are all good and nice people. Some people don't act like it though, for any number of reasons (past experiences, anger, hurt, frustration, lonliness, etc.).

[Dako]

LOL!

Good one, Shysoul!

[FamousAmos]

LOL you cant hate all the guys for a thing ONE did. and you cant like ALL for what one did.

[smilelikeyoumeanit]

Yes, but i'm weird like that. lol, aw c'est la vie mon amis

[Dako]

From about 1973-75 I hated all women.

They got better after that.

[DN]

It is not my experience that all men are idiots but perhaps that is because I am a little older and have more acquaintance with both genders.

 

It is always a mistake, and most often an immature mistake, to generalise, especially about race or gender (even one's own) and it is always a mistake to assume that just because someone did something annoying or bad that everyone of that gender or race is the same. Much of the trouble in the world, between nations and individuals, is caused by similar baseless assumptions.

 

Men, as a gender, are not idiots or immature, any more than women are. If only people could get past such silly stereotypes they might find human relationships less difficult to understand and easier to find and maintain a good one.

[yeawutever]

It depends on the individual. There were some girls and guys at my school who were abnoxious. But, u can't say all guys are like that just cuz one acted like that. I guess the same goes for some guys who are trying to find nice girls.

[darkblue]

Your being sixteen may have something to do with it.

Testosterone pumping through their tiny little heads can cause some mild to moderate stupidity - and make others... well, just plain dumb.

 

Don't worry about it. There are some who are not as stupid, immature and egotistical as they seem

[Shadows Light]

This made me giggle.

 

Do all guys suc or not??? Well the title got me to open your thread... cause I thought hmmm???

 

Suck what???

 

Then I read it... and I looked at your age bracket... and I thought.. huh?? yeah.. they all sucked at about 16 years old. Thats about the time that the testosterone level is sky high, the wind blows in the right direction and

S-h-w-i-n-g all the blood goes pouring into that appendage down south... leaving (to the mercy of thier hormones).

 

Sooooo... have pity on them. Its a temporary state of mind while all the chemistry evens out. You'd better have patience... or expect "NO quarter" given to you later down the years when your body chemistry decides to play havoc with you. (the teen years are not an easy stage for anyone to go through.. its a time of great change in both sexes. Not just boys. All of us feel inadequate and are trying to get our bearings on "WHO we are")

 

NO... not all boys/men "suck" everyone is different. And you really shouldn't judge everyone based on the one persons actions. I know... I know... its hard not to.

 

I used to find myself talking to myself and grumbling under my breath... "NO one can be this stupid... god tell me.. give me a sign... they are NOT all this dumb are they????" uggggghhh... so I can understand where your.. frustration is coming from. (but I never thought that ALL men were this way... it was my specific situation).

 

They are all different, and unique... and sometimes you want to love em, squeeze em, hold them, say awwwwwwww... but then there are those times that... you just wanna rattle their ears!! cause they make you mad. grin. Tis normal. Called the battle of the sexes.. been that way since.. Adam and Eve.

 

 

DAKO.... WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO GOOD ONES LEFT???? Surely, I can find a knock off on E-BAY...

[DN]

Then I read it... and I looked at your age bracket... and I thought.. huh?? yeah.. they all sucked at about 16 years old. Thats about the time that the testosterone level is sky high, the wind blows in the right direction and

S-h-w-i-n-g all the blood goes pouring into that appendage down south... leaving the brain poor, defenseless and prone to STUPIDITY.

 

Exactly the sort of demeaning generalisation to which I was referring in my previous post on this thread.

[darkblue]

DN, I understand that it is a generalization - and generalizations are not very helpful. But in this case, it proves true to my experience.

 

Of course, there are exceptions. But for the most part - mid-teens are controlled by nothing more than hormonal urges.

(excuse the hyperbole)

[ShySoul]

To clarify, when I said that men are idiots, it was a joke. This post was clearly written from someone feeling frustrated with the male gender at the time and who just needed to vent her feelings. In times like that the best thing to do is find something to laugh about. It, and nothing in this post, has been meant to generalize or put down men as a whole. It has been stated repeatedly that it all depends on the individual. References to men being idiots or filled with hormones, seem to be attempts to lighten the mood and have a goofy laugh. Given smilelikeyoumeanit's original post, it seems like that she needed that.

 

I, and I think I'm safe in saying no one else on this post, were stereotyping or forming assumptions about a large group of people. It was simply to illicit smiles and share a silly joke with one another. Should roles be reversed and the post was from a guy, chances are there would be a lot of silly jokes about women being idiots and not understanding men.

 

Let's be honest. At 16 very very few of us are completely together anyways. Most of us make silly and foolish mistakes, not because we are stupid but because we don't fully understand a lot of things that we haven't encountered before. We get certain ideas that end up costing us, and we make mistakes. This happens regardless of age, but is more likely to happen as a teenager because there is so much change and new things happening. We will all make mistakes, we will all have bad experiences with the opposite sex. And at times it will be easy to say that they are stupid and you just don't get them. But this is out of frustration, and most people who say it don't really mean it. It is a way of venting feelings, never intended to put anyone down. To assume they are making an unfair generalization and trying to poke fun or hurt others, is an unfair generalization in itself.

 

I believe that all people... regardless of gender, race, religion, or any other thing that you can think of to divide us.... are smart, caring, good and beautiful people. In the end, we are all human. And that is what matters. Everyone deserves love and respect. And for the most part, it happens. Comments made in frustration or jest should be taken lightly, taken at token value.

[Shadows Light]

I do appologize if I've offended any of my male buddies out there. As shy said... sometimes saying things tongue in cheek wit a bit of dry with helps smooth the tone a bit.

 

The Teen years is a growing phase for both boys and girls. Had it been a male writer saying.. why do all girls suck. I probably would have said the same thing. Girls at this age are also prone to moodshifts and flightyness because of all the chemistry being thrown off course and rewired.

 

Both the sexes get pumped up in wacked out chemistry and walk around MOONEYED.. and zoning. This is a selfish phase of life, I think. All teens think about is me me me me me me me me me. Boys are wishy washy... Girls are wishy washy. Yikes.

 

I did say... she should cut them some slack if she expects reciprosity somewhere later down the line.

 

So maybe I should ammend my statement to the female teen to be all inclusive to say... WE ALL GET STUPID AT TIMES... get caught up in our own fu-fu dust filled worlds. Especially in these turbulant teen years. Some just handle the transition into adulthood with more grace than others.

[ShySoul]

All teens think about is me me me me me me me me me. Boys are wishy washy... Girls are wishy washy. Yikes

 

Well, not all. Just a very high percentage. (joking again)

 

I've seen teens that are more mature then most adults I've been around. I've also seen very selfish teens. But in general it is an awkward time and people of both genders will be wishy washy at times. Hey, its a difficult time for most people. The teenage years, yes. Also the waking hours. (Oh no, I'm on a roll with my silly jokes.)

 

But on the bright side, it gives us a lot of cheesy teen shows and movies. It made Molly Ringwald a star. And it gives us something to look back on when we are older and wonder, what were we thinking?

[Dako]

I've posted that all men are pigs.

 

This tongue-in-cheek line is intended to express empathy for women's frustrations, but I hope it's obviously an absurd concept, especially since it's written by a man.

[Shadows Light]

WOW.. this is starting to sound like a confessional....

 

"Bless me father I have sinned.... " I'm sorry...

 

Dako piggies are cute.. and I still love ya.

 

This reminds me of a movie I went to see called the KINGS OF COMEDY...

where a few certain ehtnic comedians had jokes that were targeted to other certain ethnicities. I would be in that group of people being ripped on... and my GF and I were probably the only ones in the whooooolle move theatre of that ethnicity. WE LAUGHED or BUTTS off... because what they were joking about... WE could relate to... they were all true statements in a sense... they just made light of them.

 

George Carlin... Comedian.... and a Big Big player on words. Takes subject matter that we can all relate to... and puts a bow on it with some comic relief... Just a different way of looking at something.

 

Sometimes... things are the way they are... there are no answers to them.. there are noooooo rational moral... whatever... and ya have to LAUGH about it.