Life after heart surgery...

[bzborow1]

Hi all,

 

I'm writing this because I'm at a loss. I'm 25 and am going to be have my 3rd heart surgery to repair a valve in the last 8 years. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this situation isn't going to change. I've been trying to keep my head up as i've managed to get a good job and a college degree in between the first two, but it just seems all for not sometimes. I try hard to hide what i'm feeling but it's creeping out in other forms. I have no self-confidence with women which makes dating seem almost impossible, i'm afraid to go jogging because of my heart, and I am really tired all the time.

 

Everyone's been really nice and I do have a lot of support, it's just they don't really understand. All I keep hearing is "youve been through this before, so u should know what to expect"...but that doesn't take away from the pain and recovery. I'm scared, and it hurts. Somestimes I feel like i'm just a sucker for punishment.

 

I"m not sure what i'm looking for. Perhaps just a place to vent.

 

BZ

[chai714]

BZ,

 

Thanks for sharing your story. You're not completely at a loss - you're still alive and breathing. No need to hide what you're feeling though - what you feel is completely normal given your situation. Good luck with your surgery.

[steff]

just because u have done it before, doesnt mean u cant be scared or worried about it its only natual, plus its a major thing. anyway, i really hope everything works out for you. just because ur physcial heart isnt healthy doesnt mean u dont have a heart that girls will love... dont be to shy in the dating area,... im sure u will find someone

 

ok dont jog, do other exercise... swimming??? walking???? yoga??? theres heaps of different things you can do

 

keep us posted as to how things go

[melrich]

Well you deserve to be venting. That's a tough hand you've been dealt.

 

You know sometimes you should take the time to let down your guard. You don't always have to "keep up appearances". No one is going to look at you askance if you flip out occasionally and say "why the hell is this happening to me?"

 

And I'd be really surprised if you weren't scared and it didn't hurt. Man I'd be a blubbering mess.

 

But you know at the end of the day you'll be stoic again and go through the op again and everyone will be supportive again.

 

But sure.... you should flip out occasionally.

 

Keep us in touch with how you are doing...mentally and physically.

[Relationship Coach]

Maybe it's because you "have" been through it before and you know what to regret. Knowing the pain and discomfort of the recovery period can make it worse. Yes, the fear of the unknown the first time was probably quite great and now it's knowing what lies ahead which troubles you. Three times in one year I had cancer removed from me. Each time after the first, I knew the procedure, recovery and waiting for the next check up to see if it spread or returned. I feel for you and I will pray for you as I firmly believe it helps.

[Shadows Light]

You're right.. I've met scared a few times thus far. But I've never me your "scared".

 

One of my sig's you'll note at the bottom is about "courage" being scared and meeting it head on anyway. Courage is one of those things you earn after you've been scared out of your wits and walked on into the fire, not because you want to... but you have to. And then you have people like me on the sidelines... marveling at your valience. Not knowing if I would find the same grace to bear the same cross.

 

Its ok to feel that way. Its ok to vent. Its ok to cry. Its ok to be angry and to shake your fist at fate. When you shake your fist at fate... be angry and cry.. and human, tell fate.."Not this time.. I'm going to beat this thing. I'm going to prevail."

 

Positive thoughts... positive affirmations. See, hear, and feel all the beautiful things in the world. All the beauty that you've seen and experienced thus far...and all the beauty left for you to discover. Think good things. Beautiful things. Surround yourself with things that inspire and things that mean the world to you. Concentrate on your hopes and dreams of finding even more such treasures.

 

Love, Light..and Laughter.

 

Many Bright blessings to you... I'll be thinking about you.

[musicguy]

BZ, it sounds like you've had to go through a lot at such a young age, but you are still around and doing good. You just have to do what you need to do to get better you know. I had vasal vagal syndrome last Spring and I have to be on heart medication for who know's how long and I'm 26. So keep at it and good luck with everything cuz we are all here for you.

[darkblue]

Good luck with the surgery - I hope it goes well.

 

Continue to vent, and never fear expressing yourself.

Keep us updated.

[RayKay]

It's normal to feel scared, and anxiety. Even if you have been through it a thousand times before! Those people are just trying their best, and they are sympathetic, but until they have been there, they may not have that same empathy that others whom have been would.

 

I would recommend you look for some support groups, for younger patients with such chronic conditions like yourself....you will find that empathy and support, and understanding from people in a similar situation.

 

I have some sense of what you are going through, due to having several family members and friends whom have gone through chronic illnesses, though I do of course have yet to be in those actual shoes at this point. I am seeing my mum now go through cancer treatments for an aggressive cancer, and it is very hard....to do again and again, no matter how much you know, or been there before.

 

While there are some limitations on what you can do, there are many things you CAN do. Perhaps jogging is too much, but what about hiking for example? I know it's tough, but you would be surprised at how many people you may even encounter whom have gone through similar and are living strong. While you never know what the future may bring, even those whom are HEALTHY really don't. One's health, their life, can change in a second, without any warning. I have seen this many times....while it's not easy, you are blessed in that there are things they can do, even if does mean slowing down a bit for them to do them. I had a cousin die of heart valve problems when they were still an infant, as there was no way then to repair the defect....they never even had the opportunity to truly live. While your life is not easy, it is YOUR life, and it should not stop you from living it.

 

And, it's okay to sometimes feel "woe is me"....we are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves from time to time...but only for a bit...then get your butt up and go out there again and live.

[Itsok]

It is alright to feel afraid, worried, apprehensive about what you have endured and will go through again.

 

Of coure you know it will be alright, but that doesn't stop you from remembering your physical & mental pain from dealing with this, and from being fearful about the future.

 

Give yourself a break, and know that we are here to listen

 

You are doing great, and are handling things very well! You will be alright, and things will be ok, but that doesn't mean you don't need someone to talk to about everything.

 

Feel free, we are here for you!

[BellaDonna]

You have right to feel what you are feeling.

 

Of course you are scared. It's ok to be scared- even if you've had the surgery before.

 

I'm not sure of your exact condition, but you say this is your 3rd surgery to repair the valve. Has your doctor ever talked to you about valve replacement for the future?

 

I hope everything goes well for you. Keep us updated,

 

 

BellaDonna

[bzborow1]

I'm not sure of your exact condition, but you say this is your 3rd surgery to repair the valve. Has your doctor ever talked to you about valve replacement for the future?

 

Yep. Either a homograph valve which can last 15 years or a mechanical one which lasts a lifetime but requires daily blood thinners for the rest of your life. Unfortunately stem cell research isn't far enough along.