Can't come during sex!! Frustrated..advice please..

[Lost_Cause]

Hey all...bit of an embarrassing problem here, but it seems that no matter how hard I try, I can't come during sex. It doesnt matter what position we're in- I just can't. The sex is truly amazing and he reaches a place in me that I can only describe that feels sort of electric. I am able to come easily when my bf fingers me. During sex I find that I am extremely close to coming but just can't. Its extremely frustrating because I would love to be able to come during sex and don't want my bf to feel that its his fault, because I love him very much and I feel a bit bad for not being able to.. any suggestions on how to overcome this would be great! Thanks!

[Gunther]

Focus on the places he hits when he fingers you. Then when your having sex try to "manuever" him so it hits there. It really isn't his wedding tackle, it's where he's casting his line.

[Lost_Cause]

But its really strange because he always seems to hit the right spots, don't know how he does it!lol It feels amazing yet I still can't come!

[loz2k29]

Well I posted a thread about this not long ago. I too had this problem and I know how frustrating it is! I think my problem was that I was quite stressed at the time and had a lot on my mind. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind. I really wanted to come and I was in the mood for sex but because I had underlying worries about other things I couldn't properly relax. Relaxing is the key I think. Another tip is (its a bit weird) have sex when you need a pee. This makes everything much more sensitive and this was the only time I came in a very long time when I needed the loo! Not very romantic I know but worked for me. I know how frustrating this problem is.

 

Another thing is I think you could be focusing on it too much. If you are constantly wanting it to happen so much then it won't happen. I remember at one point I was saying over and over in my head 'please come please come please come' lol sad I know and needlessly to say I didn't come. remember you don't have to come every time you have sex, it can be really satisfying without having an orgasm. Just relax, try lots of foreplay to get you in the mood, lots of different positions and it should happen!

 

Good luck

[Gunther]

Well are you stressed? That could well be the cause of it.

 

*EDIT* lol guess she beat me to that idea =p

[ratherbesailing]

Any survey you read says clearly that the majority of women don't have orgasms during intercourse. It doesn't mean that you might not ever be able to but your are in the majority at this point.

[Scout]

Any survey you read says clearly that the majority of women don't have orgasms during intercourse. It doesn't mean that you might not ever be able to but your are in the majority at this point.

 

This is true. I read a recent survey that said 3 out of 4 women don't have orgasms during sex.

[annie24]

As you get older and more comfortable with your body, you may be able to orgasm during sex. In the meantime, just enjoy things. It's hard to have an orgasm if you're intensely frustrated you're not having one

[Day_Walker]

Its not always possible for a women to orgasm during sex the only way it is going to happen if the g spot is stimulated. Do your research and find out if you are able to orgasm from vaginal sex.

[Star6]

Tis the other way round for me, I can come everytime during sex when I'm on top, but I can't come when he fingers me... Which I wish I could. I've read a few posts n a few things and it seems quite alot of women can't come during intercourse but can during foreplay..I am happy I can come during intercourse lol but why can't I come when he fingers me? He isn't doing it wrong coz I can't even do it...

[ShySoul]

Sex is about more then orgasms. It is the total experience, it is in every sensation that flows through your body. Don't try to have an orgasm, if you are trying you are putting pressure on yourself which makes it harder and you more tense, thus losing the enjoyment and pleasure of the experience. Instead allow yourself to be consumed and overwhelmed by everything you are feeling, each tingle and sensation. Let the pleasure wash over you and be swept up in it. When you can totally free yourself of thought, it becomes easier.

 

And as has been said, most women don't orgasm by sex alone. So its not something that you should feel down on yourself about.

[KieranMc]

Not to sound too vulgar... but have you tried stimulating yourself DURING sex (clitoris)? My girlfriend finds that it pushes her just over if she is on the brink and finding it difficult, which is normally if she has already come a few times.

 

And beware the G-spot.. ensure you have a towel ready if he starts hitting it during sex as there is likely to be an astounding amount of ejaculation... from the female.