Someone please tell me what im doing wrong?

[friendinneed89]

i know this is random but, i think i might be in an abusive relationship but i dont want to leave this girl because I love her plus we just went through loosing our first child to a miscarriage, when we get into an argument she calls me names and screams at me as well as shoves me and some times hits me. shes only hit me 3 times in the whole relationship cause weve been together for 11 months, what should i do? she rubbs it in when i make a mistake but i always forgive her should i stop? well today @ school well actually right now im in school and because i talked to some guy she searched my pockets and embarrassed me in the hallway, im not aloud to talk to girls but she talks to boys after i tell her no and she always promises to change should i believe her? PLZ some one plz help me! she threatens to leave me and wont let me have friends whats should i do??????? she doesnt even know i have this enotalone account cause im not aloud to cause of her. please help! please?

[RayKay]

I posted in answer to another guys post about whether he was being abused today, and I have to say you too also fit the CLASSIC signs.

 

You can see that post here:

 

 

It does not matter if she has hit you three times, or a hundred, there is NEVER EVER an excuse to shove, slap, punch, kick, someone you supposedly love. Ever. 3 punches in 11 months, or 3 in 10 years is 3 too many. Plain and simple.

 

As for the rest, she is verbally abusive, controlling and emotionally manipulative. That is just a HORRIBLE relationship to be in, and even though you have lost a child to miscarriage (did you know for sure she was pregnant???) you should NOT stay around. You will only hurt yourself. Get away from this before you CAN'T get away...she will NOT change.

 

She is a classic abuser...not only violent, but she tries to embarrass you in front of others as part of her control, she forbids you from having friends, threatens you, blames you, uses your "mistakes" to control you, this is NOT love friendinneed, love does NOT have people doing this to you.

 

No do not believe her. Her promises are pretty meaningless as her actions are speaking much louder. She is only telling you that because that IS what abusers do.

 

The only thing you are "doing wrong" is staying with her.

[kenneth05]

the answer is yes, you are in an abusive and controlling relationship and you are clearly being abused.

you need to make strong decisions quickly.

best advice: get out of it, as soon as you can.

[designer71]

Oh Sweetie, you are doing nothing wrong. She sounds like she is an unhappy girl, and very unhappy herself. The very best thing you can do is just break it off with her. I guarantee she will be very angry and say mean things to you when you do, and when she sees that won't work, she'll try to be as nice as pie to get you back. Do not be fooled. It will only go back to being just as bad as it is now. If you weren't unhappy, you would have never written us for advice. In time, you need to move on and find someone who is truly worthy of your love. Best Of Luck - I know it's hard, I have been there!

[lunatic]

First things first...

 

She hit you three times and as Raykay stated that is three times too many as it does not matter if it over 11 months or 11 years. Once is too many.

 

Second, she is controlling you and is berrating you infront of your friends. She needs to go. Tell her to go and not let the door hit her on the butt on the way out. You have not been wrong about anything but, staying with this emotional train wreck of a girl.