Help me restore my faith - are there really many decent guys out there?

[Mun]

Miss Jones you have to start with YOU. Look your best, be your best. When you feel good about yourself you won't want to spend time on someone who mistreats you.

 

Raise the standards girl.

Don't waste time in a dead end relationship.You must be prepared to say " no thanks" when someone offers you a fwb or anything that you don't want to do.

 

As Scout said, it's very important that you KNOW yourself. After being single for 5 years I'd imagine you do. Don't allow your friends or family to tell you who they think is right for you. They don't have the same priorities you do. Your needs are different.

 

There are decent men out there, just like there are decent women. Being clear about what you want and don't want is a good place to start.

[MissJones]

I think if I continue to put myself in cr*ppy situations, I will only keep attracting cr*p. I will not earn the respect I deserve if I continue to allow myself to be put in situations that aren't fulfilling my needs. I've already made the decision that never, ever again will I have a FWB or sleep with him again. It's all or nothing – no middle-ground where basically, you are just using each other. It's disillusioning and disheartening.

 

No more vicious circles. No more making excuses for another person's behaviour. No more giving into physical desires. My emotions are so much more important than my physical needs/wants.

 

There are no excuses for mistreating people, least of all, mistreating myself by putting up with cr*p. I think it's time to be my own best friend.

 

That being said, I would still love it if he tried to hit on me so I could knock him back. I want the upper-hand and the satisfaction of being able to high-five myself and say, "Yes! I'm strong!" \\

[skyblue1]

Understand you! I've been messed around too. Wish i could give you advise on what to do but i can't because i'm in the same situation as you. Maybe we should not give them what they want SEX. Next time we should say NO thank you i'm going home.

[Karibo]

I feel exactly the same way. Thank you so much for writing this down because i couldn't have put it any better. I have been feeling down about this recently too. I am looking for someone who wants the real me and not just my body. I have had experiences too where guys have pretended to be more interested in having a relationship, but then when they find out that i won't just sleep with them in the first few dates, they take off and i know they were just feeding me bs all along. It's really depressing, especially when you think that yes, atlast this looks like someone who is genuine and caring, they turn out to just want the same as the others. This was the post I have been searching for. Thanks and good luck.

[Caldus]

Most guys are just looking for sex after all. Just gotta filter them out if you're lookin' for something more.