Restless & Irritable

[Jinx]

with a Cherry on top to finish the equation. This Holiday has been stressful.

 

I think one main reason is, one of the first women I ever had a crush on who preached it was a sin and she could never be with a woman, is. Not too long after coming home, in exploring the city I by chance if nothing else see her with a woman, whom I'm assuming was her girlfriend, unless she has taken up holding hands with strangers. They were also quite, eh, friendly so to speak. I spoke to the one, she replied then they scampered off without so much as another word.

 

My family has been on rampage about gay issues. Not in a positive manner either, I personally got a lecture about never allow these hoodlums to drag you astray of the straight and narrow, unless I want disowned from the family. Guess the lesbian recruiters already got ahold of me. Hmph.

 

Then on the other half I feel as though my brain is on its last sane strings with this coming out issue. The other morning given my family has no concept of knock first unless the door is locked, my mother walked in saying good morning. While in the groggy phase we all have, instead of thinking of what I wanted for breakfast (family except me love cooking so if it makes them happy while I'm home...), I thought about confession state of - I'm a lesbian.

 

Of course by the time that clicked that it was my first thought and usually my first thought is what I mutter I sat straight up. Think I had a taste of a panic attack or similar, I was so afraid I had said it that I was a mess. I probably had quite the look and my mother was looking at me in the oddest fashion and I just told her Pancakes and she walked off without a sound. I still don't know if I ever said it or not, but that preaching statement about the straight and narrow really makes me wonder and worry...

 

Right now I feel almost claustrophobic in this house and want out, yet I don't want to go out really. Everytime I go out, someone is showing off their boyfriend or talking about love and how I should find someone as if it was simple as can be. I have developed this horrible restless feeling, I've got it off and on before when I've thought far too much about being in love and finding someone but this time it isn't going away, I'll be a mental wreck at this rate. Nonetheless, according to everyone I know I'm being extremely irritable and easy to complain about petty things. That isn't me and I guess I really hadn't noticed it.

 

I emailed a friend about everything saying I just needed to talk (knowing she is around and checks her email daily) about this whole thing. Its been over a week and nothing. The only other person around that I know, she is semi-homophobic so I've never came out to her. I really don't want to but I don't honestly have anyone to talk to. Nobody else at this point wants to deal with "lesbian issues". Leaves me high and dry here.

 

I don't know what to do with myself. I'll be going back to my true home in a matter of a week, but its going to be one hell of a week at this rate.

[FoxLocke]

Jinx,

 

It would be redundant to say that I know how you feel. So I guess I'll just be repetitive and say, I know EXACTLY how you feel. As you can tell from my previous notes I am facing the same issues.

Sometimes it's almost maddening to try and keep such a huge secret. You make it a point to not let it govern your life, but your family has the uncanny knack of bringing up gay topics and trashing gay people while you sit inGAYnito...

 

 

My family has been on rampage about gay issues. Not in a positive manner either, I personally got a lecture about never allow these hoodlums to drag you astray of the straight and narrow, unless I want disowned from the family. Guess the lesbian recruiters already got ahold of me. Hmph

 

***sigh*** Sometimes I want to call my family members every swear word in the proverbial book. They are so ignorant when it comes to gay issues it's pathetic. Most of them think that being gay is a lifestyle choice that is hip and trendy at the moment...Or, the famous, "It's mommy's fault that her son turns gay and daddy's if daughter is a lesbian." They believe that if you don't grow up in a two parent nuclear family then you are "doomed" to become gay or lesbian, or a juvenile deliquent...and most would prefer the juvenile deliquent.

However, I reside with my mom right now and she is different. She told me that she believes that gay men and lesbians are born with their sexuality. Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief..But I'm still not ready to say anything because I'm scared she will tell the rest of the family before I am ready to tell them, and I know I'll be the topic of every conversation at the family reunions and gatherings...

 

I really wish there was something I could say that could help you deal with the ignorance...But we are in the same boat at this point in our lives.

 

 

Then on the other half I feel as though my brain is on its last sane strings with this coming out issue. The other morning given my family has no concept of knock first unless the door is locked, my mother walked in saying good morning. While in the groggy phase we all have, instead of thinking of what I wanted for breakfast (family except me love cooking so if it makes them happy while I'm home...), I thought about confession state of - I'm a lesbian.

 

I've had those moments too. The Truth will not allow itself to be denied. You can hold it in and hold it in but it is going to find it's way to the surface eventually. I don't know if you do this, but I keep my own journal detailing how I feel each day during my whole coming out process...It has been tremendously helpful for me in the sense that I don't feel this insastiable NEED to tell my family right away that I'm gay.

It's not a cure all but for me it works. Just a thought...

 

 

Right now I feel almost claustrophobic in this house and want out, yet I don't want to go out really. Everytime I go out, someone is showing off their boyfriend or talking about love and how I should find someone as if it was simple as can be. I have developed this horrible restless feeling, I've got it off and on before when I've thought far too much about being in love and finding someone but this time it isn't going away, I'll be a mental wreck at this rate. Nonetheless, according to everyone I know I'm being extremely irritable and easy to complain about petty things. That isn't me and I guess I really hadn't noticed it.

 

Yeah, I talk about this in my Requiem for a dream thread. It gets so hard watching everyone else enjoy their love lives and relationships while I have to hide my truest self because of some religious rules or fear offending someone. Then the worst part is having to pretend and be in denial. I'll talk about girls to my guy friends and family and know that I could careless about it...

I know how you feel. Sometimes you can be fine and dandy and the next moment the feelings of restlessness can hit you like two tons of cement blocks. I think right now you're having one of those moments. Trust me, those feelings ebb and flow. You'll have those days where you feel like the world is collapsing in on you, but it'll just be momentary.

 

Good luck to you Jinx. You are a very strong and level person, and I believe you can deal with anything that life throws at you.

[Tigris]

I know how you're feeling!

My so called friend 'outed me' on Christmas Eve to some of my Mother's family. She was told not to even mention it, why? Because my Father doesn't know yet and my 2 younger sisters had forbidden me to do so!

She said, 'I've done you a favour!' I didn't know whether to hit her or cry!

 

They promised they wouldn't say anything however, on Christmas Day their Mother stopped them from starting the conversation at the dinner table. Luckily, I'd confided in her earlier in the week. She's advised me to tell my Father before it's too late.

 

I've told my sisters I'm going to have to say something because there are 3 family parties coming up and someone is bound to say something and drop me right in it. They've argued with me over my decision. If they'd left me alone in the beginning he would've already known!

 

I'm worried sick! I have no idea what to say to him? It was bad enough telling him I was getting divorced for the second time. He was disappointed when I told him that until I said I wanted the divorce.

 

Anyone got any advice?

 

Jinx if you want to talk just PM me. I'm on MSN too, just ask for my address.

[darkblue]

Hey Jinx,

I can't relate exactly to how you are feeling, as I am straight. However, I'm really fed up with the ignorance of the world.

That's why I have opted, as my new year's resolution, to change my mindset. No longer will I care what other people think.

The ignorance of the world can wonder why they have no effect on me while I live life.

 

I suggest you do the same.

 

If your family are like they are supposed to be; that is - love you, unconditionally - they should be able to understand.

Your own personal happiness comes first and foremost.

 

We are nearing 2006. Why can't people accept that not everyone can fit into their ideals of 'normality'?

 

Don't go down the route of self-blame and constantly trying to gain positive affirmation from your parents (or anyone else, for that matter).

You are who you are, Jinx.

People can either accept you, or stick it.

 

You know where I am, if you ever want to talk.

[Prufrock06]

Jinx,

 

Why is it that I seem to begin every thread on this board with the phrase "I know exactly how you feel?" Trust me, it's not an understatement with this particular issue you're dealing with. I've been going through the same motions down here with my own family over the holidays and though it pains me that you're having a rough time in dealing with the stress of this week, at least you can take comfort in the fact that I and others here are going through the same crap.

 

I came out to my two younger cousins here (ages 12 and 16) -- they were both shocked at the outset but now treat me the same way they always have. I was worried for a while that my one cousin (who's this kind of uber-masculine, sports kid) would feel bothered/threatened/annoyted by me, etc. etc. But their parents (my aunt and uncle) I still haven't talked about this to. Same goes for my grandparents. And it comes down to the same intolerance of gay issues that you mentioned in your post, Jinx. My aunt and uncle have no problem throwing around the word "fag" (as in this tv show we were watching and the guy on it -- who was cute, IMHO -- was twenty-something and living by himself with his dogs and he was nicely dressed and spoke with a lisp and my uncle goes "He's such a fag." practically every time the guy opened his mouth) and so I hesitate sometimes to tell them, even though I have a feeling deep inside that they won't be that bothered by it. Oddly enough, they both support the idea of civil unions and full equal benefits for same-sex couples. But another part of it is that I don't want this to become an issue that we have to talk about for the rest of the holidays; I don't want to have to make it an "announcement" but at the same time, how can something like this not be an announcement? It also doesn't help much that my parents don't like talking about this; other than my two younger sisters, I have little support on the family front. So I can sympathize with your frustration, Jinx at wanting to come out but not being able to, or not feeling like you can without everything going haywire.

 

As for these feelings of anxiety and irritation you have, all I can say is: "Ditto." If only it were that simple to meet somebody and fall in love, huh? I get a bitter feeling in my stomach every time I see two people holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc. etc. (regardless of their orientation). Sometimes the feeling gets so bad that I wonder why I came out in the first place if all I'm going to do is end up alone because no one would want to fall in love with me or find me attractive, etc. etc. etc. It goes on and on and it's certainly toxic thinking. But then there are better days, where you feel filled with this powerful inner strength that you never knew existed before -- you start to believe that you are attractive, that you have worth and that you won't end up alone but just need time to socialize and meet people. These are the feelings that we need to hold onto, instead of ruminating over these negative thoughts. As other people have mentioned, it's perfectly natural to have these temporary feelings and it sounds like they are only aggrivated by your current stressful environment.

 

And if your friend that you emailed never gets back to you, don't forget that you always have us here to talk with whenever you need to, whether it's on a forum or in a private message. We're all in this boat together -- the water gets choppy from time to time and seasickness is common but you're not going to capsize anytime soon. I don't think any of us will, gay or straight or married or single or male or female or whatever.

[Jinx]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate them more than you'll know, it allowed me to get so much off my shoulders than had been welling up I suppose. Went out last night by myself and had a relaxing New Years, what I really needed, to get away from family and friends and have that semi-solitary thinking time.

 

It just tends to bother me for one that parents act as though I can be disposed whenever it suits them. I often wonder if this is an empty threat to steer me away from something they may have an idea of has already came about or they would stand through with it, knowledge or not. I know the extended family has raised no qualms with disowning fellow family members so it doesn't quite please me that I earned my sermon for the day in such a manner.

 

I realize they should accept me for who I am. Compared to sibling, cousins, general relatives which are under, at or around my age, I am the overachiever which should bring pride into the family but instead I am being scolded it feels like for not following the well beaten path other women in my family have (AA or possibly BA or BS, settle down, mediocre career if any, have children, serve the man as king of the household).

 

Then again I personally could never live that life even if I wanted to, I'm too task oriented and have to be busy, working and next step goals.

 

Nonetheless, I've never heard of having a Gay man or Lesbian in my family which is odd, I too often wonder if there are those which fear coming out as I do with this religious extremist family units, they have been disowned and their existing is hushed (like those which according to one or two people, have Biracial marriages and older family and even a majority of the younger ones refuse to acknowledge they're out there), or if I just am the Black Sheep as usual.

 

I really don't like being bitter or irritable about the whole matter, I so much prefer being a social appreciating person, glad that others have found their path and there to help when something has gone wrong. Yet, it just had been so heavy feeling like I hated the fact which really hasn't been there before.

 

I suppose one reason is because all these people I have helped at one time or another in their relationship or pains with straight unrequited love issues, yet I come to them and they just turn their cheek OR oversimplify it. Why does being a lesbian make such a difference in the world of love to these people? Its still the same feelings of love, is it not? I guess it just bothers me they can't bother themselves. I give in depth thoughtful responses to their problems and hold no barriers in advice. Now if I gave them a dose of their own medicine, I'd have a beautiful slew of colorful nicknames because I didn't care suddenly.

 

If I could just find the perfect woman like they find the perfect man, seeming so simple like, I probably wouldn't be sitting around, just painfully wondering about the woman who I have fallen for, whom is either extremely confused (mixed signals on a 24/7) or extremely flirty acting with me for being a straight woman.

 

Yesterday was no picnic, for once in the past few months I've had to revert back to my straight act. I have that friend whom is semi-homophobic and she was rambling about finding a man and marriage and then she asked me about marriage and men. Of course in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "Well, thus far marriage really isn't legalized for lesbians. Men, well I think on the lesbian topic that is self explanitory." but of course I can't quite say it that open and blunt, yet. I have to say something different but to point enough, I have no intentions of marrying off to a man. She thought it was a joke. I so often use humor with a straight face so I guess without truly knowing it could of somehow been taken as a joke. Anyone else who didn't know me as well it probably wouldn't of clicked, that is why she is so hard to use subtle hints on.

 

Certain times I just sit here tapping my fingers on the desk in frustation trying to reason it all out, but certain things I suppose are never meant to be reasoned out with particular people. I've never intentionally harmed another and never plan to, yet there are those people who don't have the same policy on me as a person when it comes to the homosexual issues.

 

Oh well, I feel better now anyhow. I appreciate everything FoxLocke, Tigris, Prufrock, and you DarkBlue, I wish the straight people I knew had the same viewpoint as you do.

 

I'll probably edit this post later on this evening when I have more time, I have more to say but my time has been quite off and on today. Family in, family out. Holidays are such a busy time of the year to say the least, and I think I've became the official family greeter of all things at the moment.

[darkblue]

Hi there, family greeter

 

Ugh. This pisses me off to endless limits.

You are a highly intelligent, logical, helpful, compassionate and understanding woman.

You deserve social equality and for people to accept you, for who you are.

 

You should never have to hide behind layers of persona that you fake to other people. No one deserves to live like that.

 

Ignorance really gets to me. And that is precisely what this is - the ignorance of many.

 

I wish there was something I could do, like educate the world on what they think are social and societal normalities - and how they don't work in reality.

 

Unfortunately, prejudices have never been easily changed, and public opinion is stubborn.

 

I wish that one day you find yourself so comfortable with your sexuality that you can be proud to be you, and that you find someone - because you do deserve that.

 

Take care.

[Jinx]

Hi there, family greeter

Yes, my new title at family events it does seem. Best qualified door opener and "Hello How are you." conversationalist among the group.

 

I wish that one day you find yourself so comfortable with your sexuality that you can be proud to be you, and that you find someone - because you do deserve that.

Thank you. To be able to do that would be wonderful but for the moment, well ignorance tends be here there and everywhere but eventually I'll most likely relocate or find some place where such is not an oddity.

 

In speaking to those about my age in the family give or take a couple years, we discussed today about Gay issues. One spoke about how they had put a new " * * * * * Center" at one of their schools. Of course that translates to a Safety Zone which certain schools, colleges and Universities are taking up. We spoke on it and I explained the purpose behind it.

 

Amazingly enough they acted like they had no comprehension that their behavior bothered the GLBT community. It was a quote of, "Well we tease them but not like we actually bother them." To my family it seems like as long as it isn't physical it isn't abuse and thus acceptable. I asked them why they pick on them they say its a Psychological disorder. Carried on by asking if that were so, do they pick on the students and people in the community that are diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorders? Schizophrenic? Traumatized? Phobic? If its a mental disorder shouldn't there be at least the same sympathy and respect?

 

They said no, why would they pick on people with mental disorders. Contradicted themselves far as I could tell and in pointing that out they were a tad more humble and thoughtful on the issue. Of course then that was broken by one explaining about Its okay for people to be gay as long as they don't get around me. All except one seemed to have a deep mutual fear of being hit on by a Gay man or Lesbian, because then they believe it would suddenly make them Homosexual.

 

Hey, if it worked like that, I'd already of "created" at least four Lesbians.

 

I now wonder if I did say something indeed that day. My relatives said that a relative of mine whom is close with my mother made a statement about, "Just as long as she [me] is able to find love and attachment, no matter whatever she gets into a relationship with." Er, well I guess its accepting but it isn't exactly what I'd call a beautiful acceptance. The others followed up by going back into the earlier statements, "We all thought you were weird for a moment there. Guess she just meant if you find a guy that is strange that they don't approve of. Had to be." Seems they came to a mutual consensus that I'm not "weird" [lesbian] I just have an exotic taste in men.

 

Things I would of never even thought of myself if they hadn't brought it up. It was as entertaining as it was saddening to see that most of them can't see past their noses and throughout the whole conversation they constantly contradicting themselves or filled it will homophobic notions that if you associate, you will become. I think I got some points through but others sailed through one ear right out the other.

[darkblue]

Oh dear God.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

 

All except one seemed to have a deep mutual fear of being hit on by a Gay man or Lesbian, because then they believe it would suddenly make them Homosexual.

That - would be homophobic. And to homophobics, I have but one question - "what are you scared of?!"

 

The fact that they can see homosexuality as some sort of contagious disease both amuses and terrifies me.

 

Welcome to 2006 - and a new, modern kind of ignorance

 

Also comparing it to a mental illness boggles my mind.

Comparing it to MDD, etc is just... wrong. I can't really think of a suitable word - which is unlike me...

 

Some times I feel that the world needs educated.

Sat down, and told some truths about life. I'm sure many people would be discontent in giving up their perceptions of reality - but they may find themselves somewhat more enlightened by doing so.

[KIDD]

Hearing stuff like this really bothers me. You know what irks me, everyone is so quick to call something gay!! Like for instance, if two guys who may be cool likes to hang out together alot, it's automatically gay, while two woman do it.. it's alright? I remember one of my friend's dad didn't like his male friends to spend the night because he thought it was gay. But on the other hand, his daughter could have her girlfriend over to do that & it wasn't a problem?

 

I know how it must feel Jinx. Hearing negative stuff all of the time is not good for you, it's stressing you out. I suggest possibly focusing on something else that's perhaps outside of the gay lifestyle. I don't mean shutting yourself out completely from it.. No. I mean stay focused on other things, your talents, your goals... etc etc. Having someone in your life isn't really important right now,at least I don't think so. I mean if someone will come into your life,it will happen trust me! Learning to ignore ignorance is what we all have to learn. I'm still learning, but I'm really going to just take my mind off of things & stop worrying so much.I like producing music.. so I spend most of my time messing around with the computer lol starting yesterday lol.

 

Right now, personally I think I'm just fine & content being by myself & not focus so much on family or friends for that matter. They really don't know the "real" us.. So why stress yourself out over people that "MAY" not like you for who you really are. I guess I'm really realising at the end, the only person you can really rely or trust on is yourself. It's sad when family may not even be there for us over something as little as our sexuality... Sad enough.

[darkblue]

How are things, Jinx?

[Jinx]

How are things, Jinx?

They've improved, then again I'm home again. Never thought in my life I'd be this happy to see my home again. Thank you for asking.

 

I can't say much for my relatives, they're quite the narrow minded lot. Then again, with the way our family (close and extended) runs, none of the children really tend to question their parents except me. I must have been the family blessing far as I can tell. Thus the ignorance goes onward without ever really thinking about the reason Why behind it. The conversation and almost degree of understanding we had the prior day went out the window.

 

They treat Homosexuality like the plague and truly as I've said prior if they can't use their Bible, they're confused. They call it a Mental Disorder but they contradict themselves on this level as well. I don't know if its fair because I am majoring in Psychology field so I do have a step ahead, but even then there should be something that common sense dictates to them, degree or not.

 

I heard back from those individuals I tried to contact just for talking purposes, one eventually responded but entirely ignored the whole issue I was writing about. It does irk me to a degree but there isn't much I can do except keep it in mind when they're seeking advice as usual on a regular basis. I don't like to hold anger or grudges as it is counterproductive but I find it pointless (to an extent) to continually act as a support beam for several people yet they can't even give me so much as a breath over anything I speak of. I'd be happy with even a "I really don't know." instead of awkward silence and changing the subject.

 

I'm not straight yet I give them advice constantly about their love and relationship problems and they don't have a care in the world about that slight combination problem so to speak, but for them being straight and giving advice to a lesbian appears ludicrous to them.

 

At least though, they're not spewing slurs or pressing me to find the right man whom will "turn me straight". It is a higher level of tolerance if nothing else, I can't depend on them to give me support but I don't have any fear either about being myself around them. Half of one, Six of another type of situation.

 

Starting the next Semester will keep us well occupied nonetheless. I'll be keeping an eye open for the woman whom I was interested in but with a campus this size it was like actually finding the needle in the hay stack when we happened to meet again originally, especially if her campus occupation has been shifted like many others have stated has happened, should could in that case literally be anywhere. Secondly, her friends tolerate me but most certainly aren't fond of me. Why? To be honest I don't know. They were never much in the light of compatibility with me or my group of friends and acquaintances. Thus, I can't quite ask about where she is currently located if I don't stumble upon her myself. I doubt she'd come looking for me either, we are acquaintances and were borderline friends but that may of regressed over the Christmas Holiday for her, I don't honestly know.

 

All in all it should be a degree more peaceful, I think. If I did indeed happen to slip out something that particular morning like I have a feeling I did unintentionally, family will be hell bent on finding a gentleman to present to me should I come back home for the next Holiday set or one of these particular weekends. Since the driving distance isn't too bad, I often on slow weekends will travel out and take a sibling or relative which I can deal with, to lunch or shopping or however. Makes them happy and keeps me busy, downfall being if they are suspicious I wouldn't put it past them to try setting up one of my younger relatives or siblings to tell me the joys of marriage and men.

 

That is the worst problem to face that I can think of. I may simply be paranoid about the situation overall but it seems odd that the timing of when I worried myself over speaking and they began a new rampage about the evils of Homosexuality and beauty of Marriage.

 

I'll just have to see how the first weeks of the new Semester progress and if anything further occurs with the woman, friends, or family on this issue, and I'm sure I won't be disappointed one way or another, whether that is good or bad I'm unsure but I don't think it is going to simply float away now.

[darkblue]

I'm glad things are somewhat improving.

 

I also come from a family of ignorance, and I was the only one to ever question what was said, or how we were to live. It's a blessing and a curse. You will always feel an outsider, but have a greater knowledge and better mind state because of it.

 

Ignorance rules the world. It keeps people happy and content while they live within their bubble. Don't let it get on top of you - because you know these people are just narrow-minded and ill-informed.

 

There is nothing you can do to change the viewpoints and opinions of your family - so continue to vent your frustrations, as it's always better out than in.

 

Take care.

[Jinx]

I thought I might update this post.

 

I am finally at peace with everything back with people that are at least accepting even though they're not the most helpful, guess it is better than nothing and I won't complain further.

 

I did happen to run into that woman outside of the campus, she wouldn't give me the time of day. That I presume answers my question about regression and purpose in this matter. Now I have decided (finally) that its time that I move on from this crush of the moment. There is not a point in the world of me giving my attention to someone for months to have it pushed away. I'm not much into these games no matter the individual, and hopefully she'll understand that now.

 

I think we've been batting this around between one another since September or October for that, with minimal success on my behalf of any sort. Friendship seems to of went down the tubes, and Relationship is off on planet X.

 

Even if she were a lesbian after all in denial, I've came to the conclusion that I doubt I could exist well with a woman who acts like this. Warm and open one moment, Cold and unconcerned the next. They say opposites attract but this is taking it to an extreme level in a way. Moving on may be bothersome but the best solution.

 

If she is anything like usual, she'll probably see me and be chatty now after making me feel awkward. I don't know whether it is the morning after guilt response about snubbing me or she is so confused she doesn't know what to do with herself. Not even my Psychology and Communications work can paint a clear picture of this for me, I have vague ideas why but honestly I've tried and tried again to at least be her friend or a decent acquaintance on a platonic level but even then I still earn the same response.

 

It is so much like a pattern I'll just wait and see. Maybe she has finally decided to give up as I'm doing and that was her way of expressing it, but we've been through the game many times and it usually ends up the same.

 

It could just be me and my own personal problems, remembering the warm and cold manner of an ex-boyfriend I have problems with and overreacting on this. She is a wonderful person when she is warm and open, and I enjoy the time but without the reason for the unexplained changes I guess it not only makes me wary but also curious.

 

This post probably has minimal importance for the original topic and isn't of the intriguing sort, yet it just seemed like something to get out upon resolution. Resolution because I can't think of a better word upon making this personal decision.

[darkblue]

It's your thread and you can hijack if you want to!

 

At least you are at peace with other people in your life.

 

Seriously, all I can think of with the hot/cold is that she is playing games - and I don't really think you are that kind of person.

Personally, I don't like games, either.

 

It's best to forget people like that. They normally aren't worth the effort. They somehow over-compensate their lack of relationship skills by making the chase better than the catch - or so they would like to think.

 

Take care.