I still miss her... and its getting me depressed....

[w_maxell]

With Christmas and now New Year coming, I'm keep thinking of her. Of the fun times that we had together. How I could be with her now. I haven't talked to her in a month now and she texted me saying that "I hope we could still be friends," I never replied, I wanted to but didn't.

 

I thought she was the one, was hoping she was the one. I went to my friends annual Christmas party. We were complete. Everyone was there. It was a happy occasion but at the same time I felt sad.

 

I don't want to see her, talk to her or have any form of contact with her because I know that if I do, I'll just have a "breakdown" but I really miss her.

 

These past few months have really brought me so many new opportunities in terms of business ventures. Putting up another restaurant, exporting seafoods worldwide... so forth and so on and yet something is just missing.

Yes, its good money but money isn't everything for me. I'll trade these opportunities to be just with her again.........

 

I just feel so empty. Everyday I act as if everything is all right when i'm with my friends and family. I even have a smile on my face. Deep inside, I'm still hurting. And everytime I'm alone, I let my mask down and let my real feelings show.

 

 

Just had to vent this....

[Hawk]

Hi w and welcome - sorry to hear that you are still at the worst stage of your breakup. It does get better and you sound like you have some wonderful things happening in your life that give you something to focus on.

 

I know you would love to be sharing those with your ex, but sometimes it's not to be. The good news is that, in time and when you are ready, that there is someone out there who will want to share all of this with you.

[w_maxell]

Thanks. I don't know if this is the worst stage of the break-up, but i do know its definitely better than what i was feeling 3 mos. ago even though i still get depressed.

 

You are right, I'd love to share all this with my ex. I've come to terms that things do not always happens as you want them to.

 

I've never been an envious person. My friends have bigger houses, more cars, more money etc etc...... but what I do envy from them is that they have their own families. That they ended up with their first girlfriends or boyfriends. That they are with someone who could accept them for who they are. Who has faith in them.

[doomed_one]

Wow... well I suppose an 18yr old cant really bring much to the table... I mean I havent been in any "real" relationships... nor have any business ventures lol.... but I think what you did is wise ignoring her. It probably hurts more that I can imagine, but jsut go a day at a time. If my very crazy life has taught me anything, its that everything happens for a reason... and I bet one day you'll back and think "wow... I dodged a bullet there"

 

~d1

[w_maxell]

You really believe that everything happens for a reason? Everyone keeps on saying that to me. I'm attending a wedding tomorrow and I fear that she might go. What I can't understand is that she told me not to talk to any of her friends. She even told her friends to ignore me and yet out of the blue, she tried to be chummy with my friends. Friends that she told me that she never liked.

 

If I see her at the wedding I'm so tempted to go up to her and tell her to go and leave. But a good friend told me to just be a gentleman and do nothing. I pray that she doesn't go.

[autumn99_99]

I CAN TELL YOU FROM EXPERIENCE TO KEEP UP THE NO CONTACT, AS I HAVE JUST WENT THRU THE EXACT THING, ONLY I DID CONTACT HIM ON CHRISTMAS EVENING, AND I WENT TO GET A FEW OF MY THINGS I HAD THERE, IT OPENED UP MY WOUNDS MORE, AND HAD TO START THE HEALING PROCESS OVER AGAIN, I HAD WENT ALMOST A MONTH AFTER THE BREAKUP BEFORE I CONTACTED HIM, IN ONE WAY IT WAS A MISTAKE, BUT I WALKED AWAY KNOWING WITHOUT A DOUBT IT WAS TRULY OVER. IT HURTS REALLY BAD, AND I DO MISS HIM MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT, AND GOING THRU THE HOLIDAYS WAS THE WORST PAIN I HAVE FELT IN YEARS, BUT I DECIDED TO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME, AND AM TRYING TO FORGET WHAT WE USED TO HAVE, AND YES, I DO BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. HANG IN THERE AND KEEP YOURSELF BUSY WITH YOUR NEW ADVENTURES, LITTLE BY LITTLE IT WILL GET EASIER. HOPE THIS HELPS, IT HAS ME TO BE ABLE TO READ EVERYONE'S POST BECAUSE I KNOW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE DYING INSIDE, TAKE CARE, P/S I ALSO KNOW THAT TRYING TO STAY FRIENDS IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME BECAUSE I WOULD BE WANTING TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HIM.

[w_maxell]

autumn99, I know what you mean. I could never be friends with my exs as long as I still feel something for them.

 

I still love her so when she said I hope we can still be friends. I never responded to it. Because I tried it initially, a month after we broke up and it was really painful.

 

I was actually doing pretty well until the Christmas season arrived. Somehow I started to regress. No urge to get it touch but an overwhelming sense of emptiness.

 

I just keep thinking that she doesn't even think about me anymore and yet that very thought makes me sad. That she could just move on like that as if nothing ever happened.

[Ghostrider4042005]

dude i had this same problem and if she's at some social event at the same time you are don't even glance at her from accross the room cuz she'll know you did but if SHE starts a conversation about general stuff talk to her but if she brings up an us thing tell her how you feel and if she feels the same way you'll have another shot but if she doesn't feel the same way don't get mad just go out and don't try to forget about her DO forget about her surround yourself with friends and other women and if that doesn't work i can't help you past that just do stuff that you couldn't do that you enjoyed when you were with her