Is this just her own fault???

[Moore]

Ok..heres the story.

 

This girl was curious about the male anatomy. She has never seen a guys penis before in real life. She met a guy online in her local area who told her he would show her his. They were both the same age. They met and her curiosity was satisfied.

 

Then the guy asked whether or not he could have intercourse with her. She told him no because he did not have any protection. This was stipulated before they even met. No sex. Anyway he kept asking for another 3 times with her saying no each time. Then he stopped asking and started to say what he will do. He told her to just relax and that nothing would go wrong. He would pull out before he cum. He said he was doing her a favour so she knew what it felt like. With this she didn't say anything. She was terrified of becoming pregnant aswell as catching any diseases. He then proceeded to do just as he said.

 

The girl feels ashamed of what she has done. Once he pulled out he made himself cum with his hand. She does not know if he came inside her aswell or not. To be safe she ended up taking the morning after pill within about 8 hours. This all happened the 23rd Dec. She was due for her periods and they have not come. She is terrified of the thought of being pregnant. When should a womans periods start after taking the morning after pill. Is there any harm in taking it if he didn't end up coming inside of her.

[darkblue]

No. It just artificially increases hormones.

It's like a giant does of Birth Control.

 

If she did not consent, or said "No" - she can press charges for sexual abuse.

[MollyElise]

Don't worry, she will start her period.

 

But you should worry about this girl, this is rape. This is not her fault, he had no right to take her virginity. He didn't even take it, he stole it.

 

You should tell someone who cares about this.

[darkblue]

I should add - a delayed period can be due to stress.

It is a major factor in late periods.

 

ECP is extremely effective, especially with that quick response.

[Bethany]

I don't think it's a crime to be naive, but it IS a crime to have sex with someone when they said no.

[Lindsay]

Ok..heres the story.

 

He said he was doing her a favour so she knew what it felt like. With this she didn't say anything. She was terrified of becoming pregnant aswell as catching any diseases. He then proceeded to do just as he said.

 

 

It seems like right then, she would have said no again or pushed him away and left. Im not saying it was or was not rape but I dont see why some people jump to that conclusion. Yeah she said no at the beginning but then later she didnt.

 

It seems she was more concerned with pregnancy and disease than her virginity but then again Im just jumping to conclusions too.

[Tigris]

I agree that the person is naive where guys are concerned. Also, that when a person says NO it means NO!

 

Her period is delayed due to stress! Once she starts to relax her period will soon appear.

 

Finally, I hope she doesn't put herself in this position ever again!

[Bethany]

It seems like right then, she would have said no again or pushed him away and left.

 

We do things and allowthings to happen to us when young and immature. especially when terrified. I'm sure lots of women wish they had fought back or tried to leave but found that terror takes over and they become paralysed by fear and just want it to be over so they can go home.

 

Also, I do wonder what would have happened if she HAD resisted and tried to leave at that point, seeing as he was 'doing her a favour'.

I find it all sickening and think she did the right thing if she was afraid of what might happen if she did try to leave and you should encourage her to speak to a doctor about it.

[chai714]

Moore,

 

This isn't an easy case. IMO, as long as she didn't resist thereafter and gave it then it's difficult to label him as a rapist. I've had many friends ask their girlfriends for sex and after a few "no's" they would finally "give in" and give their men sex. Although they never said, "yes" they (the girlsfriends) proceeded with intercourse. Does that make them rapists? Not in my book.

 

As far as what she should do - ask a doctor or pharmacist ASAP.

[Bethany]

Moore,

 

I've had many friends ask their girlfriends for sex and after a few "no's" they would finally "give in" and give their men sex.

 

She was not his girlfriend, he was a stranger.

[ariyadhana]

Does that make them rapists? Not in my book.

 

Well, in this country it does. At least in the eyes of the law.

[Moore]

To me, I do not look at this guy as a rapist. He never lied to her about what he was going to do and he was gentle enough with her. He never got angry with her. That to me is not my opinion of rape. .

 

I think that both are to blame. Yes he should not have gone any further when she said no but then she probably could've been more forcefull in saying no.

[Lindsay]

To me, I do not look at this guy as a rapist. He never lied to her about what he was going to do and he was gentle enough with her. He never got angry with her. That to me is not my opinion of rape. .

 

I think that both are to blame. Yes he should not have gone any further when she said no but then she probably could've been more forcefull in saying no.

 

Exactly. She should have been more forceful.

 

Its weird that they have this position "oh she was a poor naive girl..she was raped..." Is she really that naive? she met the guy just to see his penis...

 

But I guess thats irrelevant. she should have kept saying no. She really should go to a doctor about this.

 

We do things and allowthings to happen to us when young and immature

So when your young and immature your supposed to meet random guys online to see their penis and then be alone with them in a room?

 

 

I find it all sickening and think she did the right thing if she was afraid of what might happen if she did try to leave and you should encourage her to speak to a doctor about it.

 

My point is either way she is risking her life. She doesnt know what this guy has, he could have aids who knows?

From the description in the original post, I dont get the impression that she feared for her life. She was "terrified" of getting pregnant. Why would she be scared? Because a horny guy kept asking for sex thats uncomfortable no doubt, she should have left.

 

It didnt seem that he was forceful. He didnt grab her, or threaten her, or hit her......So why do you think she would terrified?

 

Again Im not saying she wasnt raped im just saying. why jump to conclusions there's obviously some things they could add to this story.

[darkblue]

Lindsay,

When someone says 'no' to sex, and they go ahead anyway - it's rape.

Saying how naive that is, is pointless. It is rape.

 

It doesn't matter that she was not as forceful as she could have been.

If you were in that situation, I'm sure you would find yourself a little more confused than now.

[yeawutever]

No, it wans't her fault, if she say "NO" at the beginning it was meant to be heard. thereforeeee, it was rape, didn't she report him yet. Dang, sup with these jerks that make them go on, yet when the gal says "no". Pervs.

[Lindsay]

Lindsay,

When someone says 'no' to sex, and they go ahead anyway - it's rape.

Saying how naive that is, is pointless. It is rape.

 

It doesn't matter that she was not as forceful as she could have been.

If you were in that situation, I'm sure you would find yourself a little more confused than now.

 

 

 

 

I would find myself scared and confused and guess what? My instincts would kick in and I'd GO. When I feel uncomfortable in situations especially w/ men. I leave. If I stay then obviously I obviously changed my mind about it or I was physically forced to stay...

 

So Moore, did this happen to you? or a friend? Im just curious b/c you started the topic and you said the guy wasnt a rapist.

[darkblue]

Lindsay,

Some people do not have 'piolot modes' to kick in when things of that nature happen.

God forbid, if you ever found yourself in that situation - I would highly doubt that you would be thinking 100% logically.

[Moore]

So Moore, did this happen to you? or a friend? Im just curious b/c you started the topic and you said the guy wasnt a rapist.

 

Yes it was me that it happened to. I put it out there as being another person because I feel so ashamed and stupid for getting myself into that situation to begin with. Honestly, I do not care about the guy. All I am worried about is the fact that my periods still have not come.

[yeawutever]

Ok, now it makes sense, no u weren't to blame, if u said "No" from the start then it was meant to be so and yes to me it sounds like it was rape.

[darkblue]

It was rape. No doubt about it.

And Moore, try not to worry about the risk of pregnancy.

You know your chances are very, very slim, and it's incredibly likely that the stress has delayed your period.

[Tigris]

Keep your mind occupied with your animals and that will take the stress off you. Once you relax your period should start.

 

I was in this situation when I was 22. I didn't go for the morning after pill on this occasion. I worried myself sick for the whole month and guess what my period was late. A few days later I started. I've never been so relieved in all my life.

 

On one occasion my fiance allowed himself to go flacid before he withdrew. The result was the condom remained inside! It would not leave my body until I used the toilet the next morning. I went to the doctor and got the Morning After Pill. My period was a few days late but I was ok.

 

I'm sure everything will be ok if you can relax.

[Moore]

I can't handle this anymore. I'm going out of my mind. Nothing like this has ever happeded to me before.

About 5 days after it happened I started to have a sore throat. Its unlike any sore throat I have had before. When I swallow it only hurts off to one side. Normally it will be my whole throat. I did give him oral which was fine but I'm wondering whether the 2 are related. Another thing that came at the same time was that my Vigina became tender to touch. I notice it when I go to the ladies. If these two are related back to having sex then why did it take 5 days to show. I'm scared now to think of what disease I might have caught. I know you need to be carefull and thats why I never wanted to have sex in the first place.

I am planning on going to the doctor but that wont be until another weeks time. I want to get in there earlier but circumstances do not permit.

[Bethany]

. I did give him oral which was fine .

 

Ok I take back what I said. I think you came accross like the 'girl' was scared and he helped himself when she said no. But seeing as the girl was you and you willingly participated in the act and actually gave him oral, it was more a mutual thing.

From now on be honest with yourself even if you did do things you now regret, and learn from your mistakes...

[Tigris]

Make an appointment with the doctor as soon as possible and let us know how you got on.

[pizzachick13]

I dont at all think this is rape, as she willingly gave this guy head.

 

I'm not saying that the guy was right in having sex with you but you didn't exactly stop him.

 

Don't beat yourself up over it and just keep your mind off of this whole mess. The more you worry the later your period becomes. Trust me, I know.

 

Sappho...