HELP! I don't know where to start!

[Terry Andrew]

Well, I guess I can handle anything but one thing I don't know is how to start! How to start flirting, dating and getting relationships. I know my potential but I just can't think or contemplate how I'm going to start. I seem I could start anywhere but I just don't think I can. I have tried but I just end up either shying away, jumping to quick conclusions or simply let the heat die down. In other words I panic when I get intimate with a girl. I can't say I don't like intimacy: I do have close friends which, i like to open up very much. maybe its sexual intimacy which, I am afraid of! I don't know whats wrong with me! I am a slightly built guy, very energetic and attractive but i think I am a bit to much shy! Can anyone give me a tip or two? I would like to know how to make the right first step towards a girl and how to keep focused on her anyway? (I do feel quite a bit distracted from things)

[ariyadhana]

I say you are young and there is nothing wrong with you! Just do what you are comfortable with. If you meet someone you like, the more time you spend with them and become comfortable around them, the easier the intimacy will become. Just don't rush into anything as you are still young and there is lots of time to explore your sexuality. I think people can get nervous about intimacy at any age. I think the key is to find someone you like and know well enough to be comfortable with, that makes it a lot easier.

[annie24]

Hi and welcome to eNotalone. I think you'll find a lot of articles and posts on this site that may help you.

 

The best thing to do is think in baby steps. Say that there is a girl that looks nice around town or in one of your classes. Just go up to her and say hi. After you've said hi a few times, maybe talk to her a little. Ask her where she's from, what are her hobbies. If that goes well, ask her if she'd like to get a cup of coffee with you.

 

Try not to be too scared. You said that you're attractive, and you have a lot going for you. Just remember that any girl would be lucky to have you!

 

As for the girls you already like, how about trying to spend more time with them? ie, ask them out to dinner or out to coffee or a movie with you.

 

Baby steps. And confidence are key!

 

good luck!

[annie24]

(Yes, work first on getting comfortable with asking girls out before you start worrying about the sex )

[Terry Andrew]

Well, thanks thats cleared some things. Sometimes I am amazed by how much I overthink and worry things! You're right I still to young so I just have to take things more lightly and openly. Well I think E not alone is a great place to start learning about this question and other things! Thanks guys!

[Tigris]

I agree with the others just take your time. We've all been in your position at one time or another during our lives. With time and experience everything will fall into place.

 

Good luck and take care.

[Dregnought]

As annie said, Baby steps.Im a bit like that to, but its natural. Most people get the same problem, but after a few relationships it gets easy.

[Dating Coach]

Welcome Terry! Hey, want some help? Read the Guide at the link I have posted in my signiture. It will help you identify some of the major blunders guys make when they are inexperienced, and it will also help explain a lot of the confusing things. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.