Well I have an update.....

[OCD]

Hi guys, yes I would have to agree that being friends is a very hard thing to do with an ex. Like someone mentioned you always think about being back with them, so you do start to read into little things they say and do....it drove me nuts....I actually thought my ex was starting to want to work things out with me....that's why she kept calling me, like we were taking it slow and keeping up with each other, but that wasn't the case, she was just feeding her curiosity about me while she was moving on...it was giving me false hope, so I started getting hurt all over again. I would say I should have done strict NC a long time ago and not kept answering her calls.

Here's what I did. She left me. She called about 2 weeks later in the middle of the night, didn't explain anything at that pointe, just wanted to hear my voice. I found this site and said NC all the way from here on out. A month later the calls started coming in. I waited for her to call at least 8 to 10 times before I finally picked up, thinking she was really trying to get a hold of me to work it out. So we chatted on and off for the next few months. She did all of the contacting, I we never really brought up the relationship. I did make one call to her in that time and that's when she opened up to me telling me why she left, said sorry how she left me hanging, etc. I thought we were getting somewhere. But no, she was just trying to move on herself and keep in touch with me....she wasn't thinking at all about how I felt and didn't really seem to care. So she would continue to call, I didn't answer all of the time, and she never left messages. So I was partial NC during that time. Then one night, I get a call from her that lasted about 2 hrs. She opened up saying how she missed certain things, how her sons asks about me, how she drives by the places were went to our first lunch, etc....At this pointe I thought, cool, she wants me back, but she never said those words. I read totally into everything and was hurt all over again. I made another call to her, she said that she'd call back and never did. I was hurt all over again. So another month goes by, then I get another couple of calls from her, and pointe blank tell her, again because I had previously told her not to call unless it was to work things out, not to call me unless it's to work it out because I need time to heal and the calls aren't helping me. She gets upset and we don't talk for a while.....2 weeks ago she calls our of the blue to tell me her dog gets hit by a car. So I don't understand why she would call me for that after I asked her not to call. She was finding comfort in me, but when do I get to have any comfort.

 

So bottom line, being friends with an ex is the hardest thing to do if you still love them. It does you no good and totally helps them. I think you just lay everything on the line to them, how you feel, how you love them, how you think a second chance would be worth it, etc......do that "ONCE" then that is it. Leave it!! You've said your piece and they know it. Then move on....they know how you feel and it's their loss. That's all you can do to get them back. They have to want it and miss it. The only way to miss it is if you're not around. If I really loved a person I broke up with and I really wanted them back, you know I'd be calling them to chat and flirt a litte, etc. Our exes will do the same thing...hope this helps...take care guys.

 

OCD

[solo34]

"I think you just lay everything on the line to them, how you feel, how you love them, how you think a second chance would be worth it, etc......do that "ONCE" then that is it. Leave it!! You've said your piece and they know it. Then move on....they know how you feel and it's their loss. That's all you can do to get them back. They have to want it and miss it. The only way to miss it is if you're not around. If I really loved a person I broke up with and I really wanted them back, you know I'd be calling them to chat and flirt a litte, etc. Our exes will do the same thing...hope this helps...take care guys."

 

OCD, this are great points, man.

 

-Solo34

[OCD]

Thanks Solo....those are points that we should follow. Although I'm having a rough day today, I'm sure we've all woken up on the wrong side of the bed. I did today, just an overwhelming feeling of missing my ex. Haven't had that in quit sometime now. I guess chalk it up to a bad day, and hopefully tomorrow will be better. I just couldn't stop thinking about here last night and this morning, how to get her back, should I call her, etc....even though I know it wouldn't do any good. So I'm coming here to vent yet again....hopefully someone will tell me to not do anything, etc...it's just always good to hear, thanks guys for your help....I'm hoping one day I just get over her, but I still love her...argh!

 

OCD

[markm]

Thanks Solo....those are points that we should follow. Although I'm having a rough day today, I'm sure we've all woken up on the wrong side of the bed. I did today, just an overwhelming feeling of missing my ex. Haven't had that in quit sometime now. I guess chalk it up to a bad day, and hopefully tomorrow will be better. I just couldn't stop thinking about here last night and this morning, how to get her back, should I call her, etc....even though I know it wouldn't do any good. So I'm coming here to vent yet again....hopefully someone will tell me to not do anything, etc...it's just always good to hear, thanks guys for your help....I'm hoping one day I just get over her, but I still love her...argh!

 

OCD

 

No worries.

Just remember we ALL feel like you.

We are all in this together.

You will have your ups and downs.

But, eventually you will forget all about this and move on.

When that day comes you'll look back and wonder what the fuss was all about and almost laugh.

Hard to imagine now, but it's true.

Hang in there!

I am hanging in there with you.

My girl broke up with me on my B-day and is all involved with another guy!

Just think of me when you are down in the dumps.

[OCD]

Thanks MarkM, I appreciate it....I hope that day comes soon where I can look back and laugh Time will tell I suppose, I just miss her, I spent most of the night thinking about "how can I get her back?", should I call her, almost convincing myself that she'd like to here from me, or course she would right....I kicked that thought around, but didn't act on it...long night I must say, thanks again and sorry about your situation, heartbreak is a bad deal....I think I've done all I could to get another shot with my ex, I don't know what else to do....thanks.

 

OCD

[markm]

Thanks MarkM, I appreciate it....I hope that day comes soon where I can look back and laugh Time will tell I suppose, I just miss her, I spent most of the night thinking about "how can I get her back?", should I call her, almost convincing myself that she'd like to here from me, or course she would right....I kicked that thought around, but didn't act on it...long night I must say, thanks again and sorry about your situation, heartbreak is a bad deal....I think I've done all I could to get another shot with my ex, I don't know what else to do....thanks.

 

OCD

 

Don't do anything.

As a matter of fact, let go.

It feels good to let go.

You can't "do" anything to change the situation anyway.

All you can do is make it worse.

[OCD]

Don't do anything.

As a matter of fact, let go.

It feels good to let go.

You can't "do" anything to change the situation anyway.

All you can do is make it worse.

 

Thanks Markm, I know that's the best thing to do now, NOTHING. It is very hard...I just get thoughts about her with other guys, think about her every once in a while, think about how will I act when we run into each other, etc...those thoughts I know aren't healthy and I shouldn't even worry about it, but I do, sometimes. Thank goodness it's not every day like this. If she only knew how bad I've been hurting over this...as far as she knows I've been Mr. Cool, I suppose that's my best route staying calm and cool...I appreciate your views, thanks.

 

OCD

[OCD]

Hi all,

Hope everyone had a fantastic St. Patty's Day? I actually got through most of the night not thinking about my ex, but of course towards the end of the evening the thoughts slowly started crawling back in. Perhaps it was alcohol induced Any way I did get through without calling her. I find it amazing that I still think about her, what's she's doing? Is she still thinking about me? I still miss her even though I've been dating and talking to other girls. So far none of them compare...but having a lot of fun and that's the main thing I think. I'm really trying to let go....finding it very hard to do. I guess time will heal all wounds. So many others have told me not to pick up the phone, she's no good for you, etc...I just wonder if I'll ever be ready to talk to her again? Is it even possible to talk to your ex without getting hurt? I'm pretty sure I won't be able to do that....and it kills me because I told her to stop calling me while I heal. That just goes to show me that she didn't care and all of those calls were garbage, right? If she cared she'd still be calling right? Why did my ex call me for several months after the breakup? I ask that question almost every other day......is there even a chance at this pointe with her in the near future? Will I ever get that second chance? Has she gotten that time to herself that she wanted after her divorce before we met? Do I ever break NC? Will she forget about me....these are some of the questions I ask myself and wonder what to do...how am I to get that chance by staying silent forever? I know life is not like the movies, but if I really care and love someone, should I really let them get away? It just feels like I didn't take a stand with her and confess my love....plead, etc. So many on here say to not plead, makes you look weak. But how are they to know you really love them? Thanks all, just venting for the most part. Had fun Friday night, but have been thinking about her wishing she was out with me. Thanks.

 

OCD