Well I have an update.....

[OCD]

Thanks guys, I really needed to hear that...even though I asked her if it was alright if I call her, I still said that she can call me...So I'll wait and try not to think about it. It's been almost 4 months so I got really excited when she was talking to me the way she used to. I need to just calm down a little....I do have a friend coming over tonight for dinner....I hope my ex doesn't call then? I'd hate to answer right in the middle of dinner, so I'll just wait a little while longer...thanks again guys!

 

OCD

[OCD]

Thanks NotMyself,

I remember reading some of your story. And I don't want this to end up with her pulling away...NC in my case really has her thinking and lonely. The fact that she can't meet anyone that has the same connection like her and I have. I think, she's starting to realize what she threw away. She even mentioned that she misses me being there just for little things. Like taking her Christmas tree down, etc. And also the talks we used to have everynight....so she is thinking about it. Hopefully in a matter of time she'll really want to give this another shot. I'm trying to stay hopefull, but very catious right now. That's why I keep coming back here to get advice so I don't jump the gun. I'm just playing it cool for the most part....that's been my game plan through this whole thing.

 

Some folks say to give her a call tomorrow night if I didn't hear from her soon....so I might actually make a brief call and kind of feel her out then. If I don't get any response then, I'll go back to letting her contact me. But here's the thing, I told her that I didn't want phone calls from her as if we were just friends and she agreed to that. I said I couldn't talk to her anymore if it was just friends because of the feelings I still had. She agreed....so her calls must have been small steps in trying to work things out. Otherwise I told her I wouldn't be answering them. So she continued to call...so she is making some effort although it's very subtle. I'm just trying not to rush anything....

 

I suppose I should continue with dating these other girls, right? It's just casual stuff, just having fun. Nothing serious, like I said I'm still healing. So thanks for the advice and any other thoughts are welcome!

 

OCD

[lonelyfish]

Definitely keep dating the other girls OCD. You never know, look how much fun Dogg is having and we all thought he would never get to that point! I wouldn't be surprised if you ex calls you Sunday night. In my opinion I don't think there would be any harm calling her Sunday night if she hadn't already tried to call you. You could talk about how much fun you Xmas party was Friday night! But don't talk as long as you did the other night.

[OCD]

Definitely keep dating the other girls OCD. You never know, look how much fun Dogg is having and we all thought he would never get to that point! I wouldn't be surprised if you ex calls you Sunday night. In my opinion I don't think there would be any harm calling her Sunday night if she hadn't already tried to call you. You could talk about how much fun you Xmas party was Friday night! But don't talk as long as you did the other night.

 

Thanks Lonelyfish..........and Notmyself,

So you think she'll call me huh? Cool, I hope that's the case...that would take a little of this pressure I'm feeling. My friend is coming over for dinner and movie so it should be fun. She's really funny. I continue to move forward, but I just don't want this to be a chance to work things out that I missed out on. It's such a fine line to walk...I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. That's how I feel...she could totally be waiting for me to call, while I'm waiting for her to call me. Oh well, I'm trying not to worry about it, at least she's calling me and opened up a little. I gotta look on the bright side. Take care all. Thanks again!

 

OCD

[redandblack]

Exactly what NotMyself said,

 

If she wanted you back bad enough, she would be calling allready. This just shows that she is not yet in a state that you really even want her back in. Optimally, it should be her wanting and trying to get back together with you and not the other way around. If she doesn't ever call, then she wasn't serious about you and you don't even want her back then!

 

Stay strong! Sounds like this girl that's coming over tonight is really cool!

 

Take care!

[OCD]

Thanks guys,

I keep running in here to check for updates while I'm cooking...This girl coming is pretty cool. Thanks. That will take my mind of my ex for the evening...I understand what you mean about changing the coarse of events...She did break up with me, I agree she should make the effort. She has been calling so I'll stick to what I'm doing I suppose. I didn't think she'd call me for the last two days though because I had the Christmas part and all, I didn't expect her to call, but I did think I'd get a call today...The night is still young. We'll see what happens...I'll keep you guys posted. Thank you.

 

OCD

[OCD]

Good evening all,

 

No real update yet, besides me wondering if I should call her...I'm coming here to vent if you haven't noticed....I've gotten advice to wait for her to call me again, then there are those that say call her Sunday night, now....I'm holding strong, but I did ask her I could call her to start talking again......she said yes. I also said she could call me too! So this is a waiting game...Should I call her tonight to say hi???? I'm not sure....I would like to hear from her though.....Keep your fingers crossed... Thanks all....!

 

OCD

[OCD]

Hi all,

Well, I just made a call......I was going nuts thinking about it tonight so I said ah, what the heck. It was a little late by the time I finally decided to call her....it was like 11:15pm, which she usually goes to bed around 10:45pm....so she didn't answer. I called her cell phone like she asked...I thought about calling her house, but figured that would be a bad idea. So I just left a short, nice message...."Hey T-----, it's OCD, I might have called you too late, but I'll be up for a little bit, if you get this message you can call me back, if not I'll talk to you soon. Take care." That was it.

So I feel like a little bit of this pressure is off of me since I made an effort...We'll see if I get a call back???? I was going crazy tonight wondering if she'd call me, but I came to the conclusion that I felt pretty sure she wouldn't mind a call from me tonight, except I waited to long to call......That was my 3rd call in about 4 months. I felt sick to my stomach and figured I just need to get it out of the way no matter what she would say to me....so I hope this wasn't a bad move......any thoughts would be nice....thanks guys!

 

OCD

[ratherbesailing]

OCD -

 

I think you did the right thing and it is probably even better that it was so late and that you left only a friendly brief message. Don't get your hopes up too much, the next move is her's and will give you an idea as to what she's really thinking.

[OCD]

Thanks for the reply Ratherbesailing,

 

Why did you think it was better that I left a friendly message late at night as to calling her ealier? I was going to call her earlier, but couldn't build up the nerve...I'm just wondering.....thank you.

 

OCD

[sukerbut]

hey not myself..i talke to my ex a couple of weeks a ago..she assured me she would never break my heart again and that me and her going out would accomplish nothing..so i decided maybe she does mpt need to call me anymore..i sent her an email the following day telling her i cant talk to her any more..but now i am feeling even the small conversation we had might bring us back together..but now i feel like i totally killed it by telling her not to call me any more! it wsa a nice e-mail..loving and courteous..i am just confused..because she did agree to go have coffe with me but then when i suggested dinner she said no. Since you did th3e same..not saying my girl is like yours..how mong before she called you..for me now its been a full 12 days of no contact

[ratherbesailing]

OCD -

 

I thought it was better because now she knows you would like to talk but it is still on her to make the next move. You kept it brief so you don't sound needy or overly invested in whether she makes the next move or not. Good luck, did she call back?

[OCD]

Thanks Ratherbesailing,

No, I didn't get a call back. Like I said before, calling her cell was never good because she'd never listen to her messages and wasn't to savy with checking missed calls. This was a issue during our 2 year relationship. So I'm not even sure she knows I tried to call her at this pointe. I thought about trying to call again, but I'm not sure. She asked me not to call her house, only her cell. I guess I'll wait it out?? I think her surgery is on Friday and I'd like to talk to her before that...I can't believe she hasn't called me? She might be waiting for me to call her still...I have no idea at this pointe....thanks.

 

OCD

[ratherbesailing]

OCD -

 

She said call the cell, you did and now you need to wait. She's obviously not in a big hurry or she would have called already. It doesn't mean it isn't going to happen but you can't get your hopes up. You have to come accross as interested but not really invested in what she decides.

 

So be patient. If you don't hear from her by Thursday just leave her another message saying good luck with the surgery.

 

How'd the dinner go with the other girl? I was kind of hoping you'd forget about your ex after that dinner.

[redandblack]

Hey,

 

I also think you should just wait. If she wants to call, she will. If she is curious enough to see if you called or not, she will check those messages. She will call when and if she is ready. If it comes to the day before the surgery and no call, maybe a short message wouldn't hurt, but it's not necessary. Remember, the ball is in her court. Don't try to go get it back.

 

How'd the dinner go with the other girl? I was kind of hoping you'd forget about your ex after that dinner.

 

I was wondering and hoping the same thing!

[OCD]

Thanks, the dinner actually went pretty well, but had a hang up...she brought her child with her?! I thought a sitter was all set up, etc. She goes 'her child didn't want me to go and wanted to be with her.' So I thought that was strange but I didn't say anything...we had a good time, I made dinner, we watched a movie....no problem. Well I get an email yesterday saying that it's been nice knowing me and that she felt too much pressure because she had to bring her child and she didn't want to cancel. Her children come first, etc....I figured that's cool and all, but do you have to bring them on your dates? I didn't say anything to her and told her that it wasn't a problem, really I had no problem with it. She just said that I hope I find what I'm looking for, etc...so I guess we're not going to see each other any more. I was just taken back by that whole thing...I played it cool with her and everything, never said anything bad about her bringing her child and that we had a good time. Then she dropped this email on me. Well there is nothing I can do about it, I apologized that she felt that way and wished her the best. That's all I could do. So I felt a little bad about that Sunday, that perhaps added to my curiosity of my ex....Sat. night was great, Sunday night was anxious, and Monday sucked because I got that gilr's email and never got a return call from my ex...whew! This dating thing is rough. Thanks...

OCD

[ONE SXXY LADY]

OCD I think you handled things perfectly. She felt too "pressured" because she had to bring her child??? HUH??? She ever hear of a baby sitter??

Don't feel bad, not everyone you date is going to pan out...it's a numbers game. Also...not ALL guys would have been cool with her bringing her kid on the date. I think it was pretty rude to be honest...she should have asked you first. So please don't let this deflate your confidence......consider it another lesson in dating

 

I think you handled things with complete class.

 

You'll be fine!!

[lonelyfish]

Any updates OCD? Hope you are hanging in there!

[OCD]

lonelyfishAny updates OCD? Hope you are hanging in there!

Hi there,

No update to report. I'm thinking this is all pretty crazy. And yes I'm hanging in there. I've thought about calling her so many times, but I held strong. I've gotten pretty good at controling that feeling, but I hope it's the right move now. I really can't believe she hasn't called me 'if' she saw that I called....that is really not like her at all. I might have to give her another ring? I don't know any more.....thanks.

 

OCD

[lonelyfish]

Give it another day. I think it would be OK to call her on Thursday before her surgery to wish her well.

[OCD]

Thanks Lonely....even though she broke my heart, I'm still very concerned for her. I know her surgery isn't life threatening or anything, it's pretty rutine, but as you can tell I still have feelings for her. Everyday that goes by now I'm wondering what that call was all about last week? What were her intensions? Why did she go into our relationship and how much she missed certain things? I am staying busy and actually feel pretty good today...I'll give her a call tomorrow or something? Would a text message be ok asking her to give me a ring?? It has just crossed my mind, that's all. Thanks again.

 

OCD

[lonelyfish]

Whatever you do, wait until Thursday. Will you know she will even see the text if you send one with her little cell phone knowledge that she seems to have?

[OCD]

Whatever you do, wait until Thursday. Will you know she will even see the text if you send one with her little cell phone knowledge that she seems to have?

 

I used to send her text messages once in a while....she was just never really good with the whole cell thing....she'd just use it to make calls. I know it crazy to think that this day in age, but it's true. That's why I questioned whether she got my message from the other day and could possibly still be waiting to hear from me....I don't know...I'll try to call tomorrow....the last thing I want to do is come off as needy...she thinks I'm moving on, which I am, but I still want a second chance with her....Thank you Lonelyfish...

OCD

[keefy1972]

OCD DON'T DO ANYTHING!!! You made the effort now you need to RELAX and wait. Let her call you back. She got your message so stop trying to convince yourself that she's sitting there waiting for you to call. She isn't. You call her again and it's going to come off as you being exactly what you fear: needy.

 

This little conversation you had with her A WEEK ago has you all whacked out now. Take the thinking cap off for a bit and let her come to you. You're in a very delicate spot right now and you can't do anything to mess up the progress you've made up until now. Remember what SuperDave said, "If you do nothing, you can't screw anything up". Very powerful statement. Relax man, she needs to make the effort now.

[OCD]

Thanks Keefy...I'm trying not to think about it too much(ie take my thinking cap off). It's hard because I get mixed advice and I'm trying to come up with my own decision, you know? It seems like most females here tell me to call or text her by Thurs if I don't hear from her....then most males here tell me not to do anything and let her come to me. Boy is that mixed or what? I'm going to hang tight tonight and see what happens, I'm trying to not think about it, but yes that talk does have me a little whacked out....I guess that's expected after waiting this long for a response and now I finally got one...it's hard to hold back....thank you.

 

OCD