First Date

[Nobody1607307301]

I've just recently spilled out my feelings for a guy I really like, turned out he felt the same way, so he decided to ask me out. The thing is.. even when we're just hanging out together with a few other friends, there is almost no conversation between us. We got to know each other really well by talking online daily for the past few month, but when we meet.. it's completely different.

 

We're quite shy around each other... and it takes some effort for me to get some talking going on. Since we live around 40 minutes apart, he asked me to plan the day because he's coming over. I want the day to be creative.. not the usual, mall.. lunch.. movie, thing. Though I just can't think of anything. I'm also scared that this date will end up with us just looking the other way the whole time. How should I get him to talk and keep a flowing conversation? I know location is also very very importaint for a first date, but it's difficult because of the cold weather now.. we're limited to almost all indoor activities.

[ratherbesailing]

Don't worry so much. He's a guy and we really don't need to talk anyhow. Just try to plan something that you both will be actively involved with. Don't go to a movie, that's like be alone together. Bowling would be great if it isn't too corny for you. With something like that you at least have the score and silly things that happen to talk about. Something active. Afterwards back to your house to do something you both need to participate in like a board game or maybe plan something you can cook together.

 

Good luck

[Beec]

I think doing something fun would be the best way to do. In winter, my favorite ideas have been skating, shooting pool or bowling if any are available. I rarely do any given on in a year, so each is different from the norm.

[Mrocza]

I like the skating idea...any form of exercise is good so you don't have to talk too much.

Try something artsy...and to encorportate the Christmas season (if you celebrate)... One of my favourite, (and deemed lame by some of my friends, but I love it!) ideas is going to a paint-you-own-pottery place. You guys can sit and paint cups or plates and the conversation kind of just flows when you talk about what you're going to paint, etc.

[Beec]

I don't think I'd go with the pottery thing, but it could work. Depends on the people invovled.

 

If I had to pick something more intellectual, I might roam around a museum, as I have a number to choose from in NYC. Not sure if the original poster would. And that would involve mroe travel possibly.

[Mrocza]

Beec- great idea. Theres always exhibits going on pre-holidays.

 

Or for another artsy approach, an art gallery?

[RescueDiver]

Oh I dunno, some of us shy guys live for great conversation. The idea fairie had is excellent. I recently went on a first date with a gal and was so nervous I said virtually nothing all through dinner (even though she and I had already talked for hours over IM, phone, e-mail, etc...) After dinner we went for a nice long spirited drive in my Twin-Turbo Supra (both of us are car enthusiasts). Once we did that, I felt completely at ease and we ended up all night talking until 4:30 the next afternoon. It was probably the best first date I've ever been on.

[ShySoul]

What is something you are both interested in? If you go to a place where you are both excited about the event or what you will see, that will make it easier to start the conversation.

 

Museums and art galleries are good ideas.

 

Nobody, I'm a shy guy as well. I had the same problem with a girl recently. I could talk to her online but in person I was nervous and unsure of what to say. In my case, and probably with this guy, his being quiet is more about his own insecurities and fears of saying something wrong or looking foolish. To him, just being with you is special, regardless of what you do. Be friendly, smile at him, and talk about the things you have in common, what you usually talk about online. He will open up, it just takes time.

[PocoDiablo]

I've just recently spilled out my feelings for a guy I really like, turned out he felt the same way, so he decided to ask me out. The thing is.. even when we're just hanging out together with a few other friends, there is almost no conversation between us. We got to know each other really well by talking online daily for the past few month, but when we meet.. it's completely different.

No surprise here. With all due respect, this is why you need to use email/phones for making dates, and then going on a date to see if you have chemistry.

 

He sounds boring. Are you going to dump him yet?

[uninhibited]

Oh I dunno, some of us shy guys live for great conversation. The idea fairie had is excellent. I recently went on a first date with a gal and was so nervous I said virtually nothing all through dinner (even though she and I had already talked for hours over IM, phone, e-mail, etc...) After dinner we went for a nice long spirited drive in my Twin-Turbo Supra (both of us are car enthusiasts). Once we did that, I felt completely at ease and we ended up all night talking until 4:30 the next afternoon. It was probably the best first date I've ever been on.

 

I couldn't agree more. Especially during the cold winter months, i would personally be thrilled to just hang out with a girl that I like and talk for a couple hours. I would drive quite a distance to do this too. This is just me, but I am shy and it sounds like this guy is too. Sometimes you'd be surprised how easy it can really be to please a guy.