Jealous over celebrities

[justify_yourlove]

I am jealous over Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera's physical looks because my boyfriend finds them sexy. He is also a big fan of them (and dresses up like them, which I made a related post about in another section), but that is not what bothers me. I am insecure about my body sometimes and it gets worse about Britney and Christina. I know I am being silly but does anyone have any advice on this particular type of issue?

[melrich]

Do you know how much work goes into making celebrities look like they do? Thousands of dollars on hair and makeup, flattering lighting, air brushing etc etc. I'm not saying that is bad, they are marketing an image, but it is not real.

 

Ever run into a celebrity who looks great in pictures and on TV in real life? They still look good but they look like any other good looking person, faults and all.

 

If you are really concerned about how you look in comparison, level the playing field. Go and get some portraits done with a glamor photographer. As much as i personally think these photos look cheesy, you will be amazed at the results. You too can look like a completely different person.

[ShySoul]

Hey. The thing with celebrites is that they are a fantasy. Guys know that they will never have the chance to be with them but like to imagine it. They can feel ok letting go and lusting after them without having to worry about any real life situations that a real relationship has.

 

These celebrities, such as Britney and Christina, also play up there appearance and use sexuality to market themselves. They understand the affect that sexy outfits can have on people, and use it to their advantage. Your guy is falling prey to the fact that sex sells. He's having his basest urges played with.

 

One thing to remember is that these girls are put through a lot of makeup and wardrobe to look as they do. Sure, they have some natural physical beauty. But they also have professionals using whatever trick they can to enhance that beauty. If you put on the outfits they wear, your guy will probably go even crazier for you then Britney or Christina.

 

Another thing is that you are also beautiful. Your boyfriend is with you for a reason. He thinks you are beautiful and sexy as well. He may lust after Britney, but he both loves and lusts after you. He finds their bodies sex. He finds you sexy - everything about you from your mind to your heart to you body. It's not silly to have these insecurities. But you should try to not to compare yourself to celebrities and to see the beauty within you.

[justify_yourlove]

Thanks. Yeah, you're right. I think I am pretty insecure over my looks and it goes way back to childhood when I was teased. Fortunately, I've definitely improved in that at least.

[Vanilla]

oh nooo please DONT be jealous of them. my sister is an aesthetician for a very exclusive spa and resort and she has had MANY celebrity clients including one of the above mentioned and she said if you saw them in person youd be horrified.

 

like the above poster said- it is lighting, make up, airbrushing, etc etc. THEY ARE NOT REAL. I bet your boyfriend owuldnt look at them twice if he saw them walking down the street.

 

How old is your boyfriend? it sounds a little immature on his part. celebrities are just that, and people should be able to know reality from fantasy.

[RayKay]

Do a google on "Stars/Celebrities Without Makeup"....and you will see the image is not the reality. Have you ever seen the pics of Britney standing on a balcony with zit cream all over her face and wearing sweats and looking like, well, someone with zit cream all over their face?

 

They are photoshopped and airbrushed (even their makeup is often airbrushed!), they have stylists and consultants and publicists. They are also.....normal people.....there are very few that you would even recognize without getting overdressed and styled everyday! They still look good, but not the same at all!

 

I agree, if you are concerned, look into glamour photography, with a good photographer. They can do makeup, set design etc, to make you look just as fantastic too. And you will see just how much goes into the "image".

 

Your self image should come from within you, not from pics of celebrities. You are your own person, and there is no one else like you, be proud of whom you are, love the things you love about yourself, but also the ones you sometimes wish you did not have...turn them into positives. Embrace the things that make you YOU. And make the best of what YOU have. That means getting into working out for example, or trying a new haircut if it makes you feel better, work with what you HAVE and make it the best you can, not worry about what you don't.

[ShySoul]

Make up, a new outfit, haircut, glamor shots - they may make you feel good for awhile. But you are then seeking to not be jealous by making yourself out to be like the people that you are jealous of. It won't solve things in the long run. Instead, I would suggest focusing on you, the natural beauty that you have. You are a beautiful person without having to make yourself up to be beautiful. What makes you beautiful on the inside, is the beautiful person you are on the inside. It is in your personality, in your talents and interests, in your heart. Who you are on the inside shines out and makes you a beautiful person on the outside.

 

Personally, I find glamor shots to be the least attractive a person can be. When I see one of someone I know, I don't like it. They are still beautiful because the person is beautiful, but they would look so much better without makeup on. The most beautiful I have ever seen someone is when they were just getting up in the morning - no makeup, no sexy outfit, hair a mess. Then, without the additions, I could appreciate just how beautiful the person really was. And I know there are plenty of guys like that. Appreciate your natural beauty, don't try to make yourself beautiful because you already are.

[RayKay]

There is nothing wrong with doing things to make you feel better about yourself. It's not about hiding whom you are, it's about having FUN with whom you are, and finding how you are beautiful with what you have.

 

And glamour shots don't mean having to get all dressed up and made up. I have done some very natural photography shots, no makeup, nothing fancy, that were fantastic, and I love having them as they make me see me for who I am....and can help someone realize they are beautiful, they just needed to see it from a different perspective.

 

I wear makeup very rarely - never day to day, but I do wear it when I go out for something fancy, or for sometimes at work a little bit, and I don't need it to feel great about myself or feel attractive, but it does not mean that sometimes it is fun to get dressed up, and put it on, and have fun with it. I also take pride in my physical fitness for health, but also for confidence. And that does not mean I don't think I am beautiful, in fact it makes me feel even greater about myself because it takes dedication, and I like how it makes me feel. My boyfriend also thinks I am gorgeous when I wake up in the morning and look a mess, but he also thinks I am beautiful when I get dressed up as he appreciates that as well. So why should being beautiful one way preclude doing it the other way too sometimes?

 

Yes, her confidence and self esteem should come from within herself, and her non-physical qualities should be part of that growth and esteem as well, however, having fun with your appearance or trying to see yourself in a new light is not a crime either, and really can help.

[annie24]

I think doing the glamour shots may help you see the "attractive and sexy" side of yourself. Maybe you don't see it when you look in the mirror, but I bet if you saw the photos, you'd see what is beautiful about you.

 

But, being beautiful and rich isn't a forumla for a happy life. Just look at how many celebrities, including Britney, have plenty of problems in their personal lives. And despite how beautiful they are, they still get cheated on and broken up with.

 

Some of the happiest people I know aren't considered beautiful or rich by typical standards, but I aspire for what they have.

 

Take a good look at yourself. There is something beautiful about every woman. Maybe you have a cute nose, perfect ears, great legs, or shiny hair. Get a makeover at the local makeup counter. I've found that when I look good, I feel a natural confidence inside of me, that other people sense.

 

Take care

[chai714]

There will always be someone more beautiful, smarter, faster, bigger, smaller, etc, etc than you. It's life. We learn to accept that and be proud of who we are. If you don't like something in particular about yourself, change it. Whether it be losing a few pounds, getting a higher education, or growing your hair longer - you can improve yourself. This makeover though, ought to begin on the inside (meaning your self-esteem). A person with confidence is much more attractive than a stunningly beautiful "10" with low self-esteem. So, if you want to improve something about yourself now is a good opportunity. Just remember that it begins on the inside and flows outward.

[SALLY_ANNE]

did we all miss a point there soemwhere. you said he dresses up like them??? um gay???? as for being jealous of christina and britney as they've suggested look at the shots that catch them without the makeup and special lighting etc not a good look. And hey if he wants to spend his lifetime wanting something thats unattainable im sure there are plenty of more decent guys that will appreciate you.

[ShySoul]

I just question why people say that celebrities aren't as beautiful without makeup and that beauty comes from within and who we are... and then advise things like putting on makeup or changing things about our bodies. Because no matter what we change on the exterior, we are still the same on the interior.

 

The girl I previously mentioned had the same doubts about her appearance. It wasn't comparing herself to celebrities, it was her not thinking she was beautiful. I friend got her to get a makeover. She didn't like it and didn't see herself as any more attractive, said she liked herself better the other way. I agreed, she was much more attractive when she wasn't even trying to be. However, the numerous times I told her how beautiful she was, inside and out, that made her feel better about herself and feel more attractive.

 

In my opinion, everyone is beautiful just as they are. They don't have to do a single thing to be beautiful other then to be who they are. And I think that a person doubting their appearance should learn that they are beautiful as is, no need to change a thing or compare yourself to some standard of beauty.

 

PS. I may be in the minority here, but I found Britney without makeup more attractive then Britney with makeup.

[melrich]

you said he dresses up like them??? um gay????

 

Why would you assume a cross dresser is gay ???!!!

[ShySoul]

did we all miss a point there soemwhere. you said he dresses up like them??? um gay????

 

I believe she said she made another post about it, and that that this post was more about her own insecurities about her appearance.

 

And he may not be gay. He may like the way women's clothes feel (some people have strange fetishes). Oh he may be bisexual.

[justify_yourlove]

Thank you again for all your responses. I have not done the professional glamour shots but I have taken photos in sexy costumes and make-up in my room. I actually do feel great about myself looking at those and it is also just fun to dress up. I do agree people are beautiful in their own way and I know I am beautiful. Maybe I just get reminded of my insecurity when it comes to Britney and Christina. However, I am working on it and I'm sure it'll get better with time.

 

My insecurity is definitely coming from inside my head because my boyfriend has never compared me to them. Although, I wish he would tell me I'm beautiful more often than he already does. That's okay though since he claims he says I'm beautiful "all the time". You know how guys' definition of "all the time" is different from girls, so I do accept that.

 

My boyfriend is straight but my post in the other section did say that I believe he has a sexual identity crisis.

[annie24]

Hi - well, since taking those sexy photos made you feel good, why not give it another try?

 

I remember one anecdote of a man and a woman who were married for 50 years. The wife complained, "He never tells me he loves me." The husband said, "I told you I loved you on our wedding day, and I never told you again, because my feelings for you never changed."

 

He's with you, so he must find you attractive. Don't forget that We all wish our men would pay us more compliments, but you can't really force it out of them. You want a compliment that is genuine, not something that's said because they have to say it.

[ShySoul]

If him telling you that you are beautiful makes you feel sexy, then let him know that you need him to let you know that more often. I'm sure he will be happy to oblige.

[melrich]

I have not done the professional glamour shots but I have taken photos in sexy costumes and make-up in my room. I actually do feel great about myself looking at those

 

Yeah for sure. Maybe your b/f may like to take the photos of you. Maybe he could help you get dressed for them. Sounds klike something he might enjoy if he likes cross-dressing.

[justify_yourlove]

Actually, we have done the "dress up" sex RPG's a lot in the past (me dressed up) and took pictures (which is related to when I first mentioned it), which we both really enjoy. That and when we go out dressed "nice", is the times when I feel real great...until we tried him dressing up as a "girl" too and had sex, but that was my post in the other forum and relates nothing to my self-esteem.

 

I think I get more insecure when we start talking about Britney and Christina on TV, magazine, news, etc.