Wasted my precious time

[AC874]

Imagine yourself!! After spending an awesome vacation with a girl, you drive at night to watch the sun go down. In the passenger seat, there is this girl who is worth nothing short of gold to you. No earthly possesions could ever measure just how precious she is to you. You watch her fall asleep, as you watch the sun goes down on the California coastline. You think to yourself... "wow, this girl is the one for me... thank you god for allowing me to see such beauty". A tear rolls down the side of your face, you know what you felt was pure genuine and unselfish love. You can live in that moment for eternity... you have no choice but to get excited...THEN LESS THAN 1 MONTH LATER .....................

All of my worst nightmares come true... god tell me why you made me waste 4 years of my life, to see some girl who would be happy to move to another guy in less than one month. This is the cruelest thing that I have ever seen in my life. Imagine, you spend 4 years of your life...non-stop giving, love, care and respect. Imagine, that you find out one month after your break-up, that she is already "in a relantionship" with another guy!

• How would you feel?
  
• How could you look back on your 4 years and feel like there was something there?
  
• Would you feel like you meant SOMETHING to your ex?

What a joke.

Do the last 4 years mean anything? Did I waste my time, going out of my way to show just this girl just how much I thought she was special and precious? Why did I out go out of my way for this girl? Why did I sacrifice my own health for her?

And now she gets to wear the Canadiens jerseys I bought her in front of her new guy......that's a lot of nerve!

I look back upon these 4 years, and I realize that I have literally made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Hindsight is 20/20, I had ample warning signs and oppurtunities to call it a night. But I kept going against my gut, and now look where I am! I fell flat on my face, losing my self-respect and dignity to some girl who didnt deserve a second of my time.

God bless the guy who ends up running with this wild horse.

Thank you god for showing me, sooner than later, who this girl really is. News flash.. this girl is not going to take away my dignity and my self-respect.

To the girl who I am meant to be with... I can't wait to meet you. We are definitely are in for an awesome ride.

[NR498E]

dude i know exactly how you feel.i feel like the last 2 and1/2 years were a total waste.I cant figure out the purpose of it all.Ive heard that when truly unfair stuff happens god will pay you back double.

[Caterina]

Ouch! I can't imagine that...but perhaps there is some happiness found in the fact that you don't have to spend eternity with someone who would do that?

[hockeyboy]

Having been in pretty much the same situation. Please let me tell you how i felt at first and then how i feel now (2 years later)

 

AT FIRST:

How would you feel? Betrayed, felt like i couldnt trust a soul. I couldnt sleep or eat or function. I skipped classes often. I did nothing but be miserable. I thought I was destined to live a long miserable life.

 

How could you look back on your 4 years and feel like there was something there? I felt like the last 4 years of my life were a waste. I thought that it was my chance to meet "the one" and i wasted that chance on this girl who left me.

 

Would you feel like you meant SOMETHING to your ex? I didnt think I meant anything to her.

 

NOW:

How would you feel? Im glad it happened. Im glad i dated her but also glad we broke up when we did.

 

How could you look back on your 4 years and feel like there was something there? I know that we loved each other deeply, we were just to young to be so serious and neither one of us was really mature. We thought we were...just because we stayed together for so long while everyone else was breaking up...but in reality we both had a lot of growing up to do.

 

Would you feel like you meant SOMETHING to your ex? Im not sure what I mean to her. I like to think something. I know she still thinks about me and i know she'll never forget me. Ill always care for her but i never want to see her again. We can care for each other and mean something to one another...but that does not mean anything more then that.

 

Things do get better. I promise.

[coooolsome]

AC874

 

I felt the same way, however NC will help you see things in a new light. God has a plan for everyone and sometimes we need to hurt to become a stronger person. When ever we work out, our muscles break down and then rebuild stronger. Same thing with our hearts. We are at rock bottom but the only way is up and we will be stronger for it. Sometimes you need to know what real pain is to understand what true love is.

[AC874]

So hockeyboy.

 

What is your experience? I;m really interested

[hockeyboy]

ill pm you

[AC874]

Hey Coolsome.

 

Thanks for your support.

 

I just pray that I dont see/ or ever hear from this girl again.

[Jut]

AC874

Sorry to hear about what happened.But i wont completely agree on 4 years going waste. Think about what a valuable lesson you have learnt, how you are going to be better in your next relationship coz of what you have learned. Sure there is pain and resentment but the bright side is that you learn something. People like your ex dont stay with someone and i can gaurentee you she wont stick around with the new guy also. SH ewould understand and start respecting people who love her once she is abused or cheated or used by someone. Its called empathy and we feel the pain only when the nail is in our own shoe.

[AC874]

Well it sucks to love one somebody so much... only for you to find out that they dont feel the same way.

[nataliejulie]

My ex moved on TWO weeks after we split

 

It hurts. But honestly, this was my breaking point with him.

 

Would you want to be with someone like that? All those great moments you had with her.... YES, you can experience them with someone better! Someone who will love and respect you as much as you do!

 

You know what will happen? She burried her problems without dealing with them. It's like, an alcoholic that drinks to forget. One day, everything will fold on her and she'll have to deal with more problems than she did to begin with.

Don't be that guy she falls back on. Don't give her the statisfaction of what a wonderful man you are. Take this time to make yourself 200 times better than what you are now... it will make you happier, confident and show her what she's really missing.

[alonegirl]

I know exactly how you are feeling right now. My ex of 4 years left me to be with someone else 8 months ago. Less than 3 months after I moved out she had moved in. That hurt like hell. The whole thing has hurt, it hurts even more to think that you meant nothing to that person that everything you did meant nothing that's how I feel, my ex and I haven't spoken since and this was someone that I spent 4 years with and now we can't even be friendly. Maybe it did mean nothing maybe it did but it doesn't matter anymore. We are not together and I am trying to learn from the experiece as much as it sucks. It will be ok and everything will work out for the best. You will find someone new that won't do this to you.

[SLMitchell918]

Love is one of the biggest risk in life. You give your heart to someone but you never truly know if it will work out. You can give it your all and just when you think things are "perfect" it blows up in your face. Maybe you had warning signs you never saw or maybe she just is heartless but remember there is a lot of heartless people in the world and some just don't have any problems with ending a relationship. I am sorry you had to go through this. No contact is probably the best for you. Just remember that someone is out there waiting for you. Just don't be too scared to invest your love in her! Good Luck!

[AC874]

Too much giving is a bad thing.

 

Never give so much

[sweetsmile]

Did SHE break up with you? After how long time did you find out she was going out with this new guy and how do you know it's so rerious between them? Did you talk to her?

[AC874]

She broke up with me on Oct 16.

 

She met this guy, I assume 1-2 weeks later. I know this for a fact, since I did the vile thing of reading her diary the day we broke-up (yes I know.... it was wrong, but almost necessary)

 

Total waste of my time this girl was.

[Trax]

You know what will happen? She burried her problems without dealing with them. It's like, an alcoholic that drinks to forget. One day, everything will fold on her and she'll have to deal with more problems than she did to begin with.

 

Exactly. I'm in the same situation as you man. Ex of a year and a half dumped me a WEEK after we had spent a week on vacation with her and her immediate family. What happens? 3-4 weeks later starts seeing someone else, but doesn't even tell me (could have possibly started seeing him while we were together but I strongly doubt it.) Couple weeks after that, friends and I see her making out with this dude at a bar. How pathetic. Calls me that night pretending nothing's wrong, I call her out on it. Total disrespect. E-mail the next Monday. Weak attempt at apologizing. NO CONTACT. Guess who IM's me just this week? You guessed it. Who knows her intentions, but more likely than not, the grass ain't greener on the other side.

 

NJ's quote there sums it up well. I wasn't perfect nor was she, but if there was something she needed to deal with she should have came to me to talk about it. Instead the problem is swept under the rug. It will be a continuous pattern until she realizes what her deal is.

 

No contact for you my friend. I guarantee that your ex still thinks and cares about you. I had to learn the hard way that people try to "move on" and "forget" about an ex by jumping at the first thing they see. They always get burned. Her fall will be your revenge because you won't be there to pick up her pieces and will have moved on to be a better person. Stay strong, everyone here is with you.

[temjin132]

wow, its kinda creepy how familiar your posts sounds to me. I went through the exact same thing, only it was a 6 year relationship, and she moved on even faster, like 2-3 days after with a guy from work...

 

it sucks.. i know, and it sure feels like those past years were a complete waste of time. but i look at it this way, you have to fall down, hit rock bottom and experience the worst of the worst in order to fully appreciate what you will have later. you wouldn't know what good was if there was no bad.

 

good luck, it does get easier... and better....

[Hawk]

AC874 - if it makes you feel any better (and it probably won't), but my ex hooked up with someone in a month and we were together for 7 years. She used to tell me how much she loved me and wanted to marry me. It sucks.

[eimono]

I think that we can love someone TOO much.

 

Let me explain, you love them so much that you let those little things go by without saying anything. You make excuses for them and pretend in your mind that they will change for the better.

 

I think this is projecting our love on them, and then in our minds assuming they have it too... But they often don't. The little signs we ignore, the problems we accept, all tell a different story we don't want to hear.

 

So I think we can love too much. And I know with me, I love to love to the point I don't see the real person.

 

And in the end, I get hurt because they didn't return my love.