Seriously weirded out

[hotchkiss003]

My so called friend Sara that I had been best friends with for 10+ years said that she resented the fact that I wasn't shy anymore and that she didn't have complete control over my life. I started hanging out with her less, then she wanted to hang out constantly, or would try to get favors out of my like typing homework papers. When I would tell her no because I really was busy she would say stuff like 'why not?' then she would act like she was doing me a favor by letting me type it saying stuff like 'but you can type so fast.' I still told her no then she said that she just didn't WANT to do it herself. Then the next time I hanged out with her she said that she wanted complete control over everything I'm allowed to do or not do so I just quit hanging out with her. A week ago she called expecting me to drop all of my plans and come over and do nothing while she watched her sister's dog, and kept asking me when I would be free even though my grandparents were being moved here all the way from california to be put in a retirement home and that the situation had been really stressing for my aunt and uncle because my grandma had been forgetting who people were and trying to convince my aunt to do dangerous stuff like take u-turns in the middle of freways and take short cuts through the grassy areas, etc. When she kept telling me that she expected me to do everything in the friendship her way, I told her that I had to be honest and thought we were spending too much time around each other. Then she said that she wouldn't call me back. My brother said it wasn't right that 'Sara' lied to get out of seeing Rhonda in the hospital when she had the baby since she had miscarried the first time she was pregnant and Rhonda had also been our friend since way back. My parents said that they saw Sara out shopping with her sister and that Sara was pretty rude to them and acting really strange in general and that they left wondering what was going on with her. I had tried to talk things out with Sara about the lying and clinging to other people when I am trying to talk and talking down to me, but it didn't do any good. I was just talking to Rhonda on the phone a while ago and she said that Sara had seemed kind of weird lately also and she hadn't been able to reach her on the phone. It's probably a good thing I decided to end this friendship because Sara had been saying things lately that she didn't think I should have a boyfriend or other friends other than her because she needed to use me to lie to people about her 'good girl' reputation, she is 21 and does things that normal 21 year olds do but she lies about it and tries to keep up this 'good girl' reputation because she says she likes to have people dependent on her so they can take care of her and do her favors. I'm like seriously weirded out, especially about the part of not thinking I should have a boyfriend. I knew the friendship was in trouble since around last fall when Sara kept saying that she had to 'one up' me on everything, I had told her I wasn't interested in competing because I think competition is childish. What really bothers me about Sara's behavior is that she works in a child care center and thinks that because she works with 5 year old children is that she actually tells people that it gives her special privillages to talk to adults like they were small children, if they touch about anything she will follow them around nagging them to wash their hands etc or yells at people for even saying 'crap' or 'sucks' saying that they never know when one of her kids from work is going to be around, yet if she sees one of them she immediately runs the entire direction and puts everything else on hold and tells people what they're allowed to say, but right after she got done complaining about seeing people from work she will cut people off and talk down to them if they dont revolve the entire conversation or activity around work. My 18 year old brother even said that he was glad when I quit inviting her over to the house because it made him uncomfortable because she would do stuff like change the channel if he went out of the room if a show he was watching had the slightest bit of content in it and get preachy about it and that he didn't feel comfortable around her, it made me really uncomfortable when she would try to tell me what stores I was allowed to go into based on what she would buy or she would ask me if it was ok with me if she bought something to try to talk me out of buying it, but she would yell at me if I bought something that was the same thing she had even though she had never said anything, then she would lie about it, my shoes broke so I bought some in finish line because they had them on sale and I was short on money that week, she screamed at me and said 'don't go in my store I already have to hear people at work saying they go in my store' then she compared the stores I went in based on where people she works with goes and talked about how she needed to 'one up' everyone at work. I'm glad we ended the friendship when we did, it got old FAST being yelled at and talked down to all the time. she didn't used to act like that, but it kind of started a year ago when she cut out all of her other friends because they got married she got jealous because she couldn't be what she called a 'good influence' and tell them how to act anymore. that kind of stuff coming from a 21 year old seriously weirds me out, none of my other friends constantly look over their shoulder and cut people off to revolve everything around themselves.

[hotchkiss003]

i checked my e-mail earlier, there was an e-mail from sara, saying that she didn't even realize she was being so controlling. I'm confused because last time I saw her she said that people tell her often she is controlling and that she says she likes to be that way. i can't really forgive her just like that, it's going to take a lot of convincing. the e-mail sounded sincere, but after she's lied so much about her reputation lately I'm just not sure what to think right now. In the e-mail it said that she enjoyed being friends and that she doesn't mean to be controlling, but last time we went somewhere it made me really uncomfortable when I knew how to get there and she said that she resented the fact that I knew how to get places on my own because it meant she didn't have control over what I know or don't know, that just seemed strange.

 

any advice on how to sort out this crazy mess would be appreciated.