What should i say?

[p0w3RFuL]

Well me and my ex broke up last night, and im basicaly heartbroken...

I told her i feel horrible inside and i need to see her and shes the only one i can lean on right now cuz i have problems with my mom as well, but mostly im hurt cuz of her...

 

she said the only time i can see her is during her school lunch, which isnt too long and is really far away but im gona go anyways..

 

What should i say to her?? ive apologized, ive done everything she just says she wants it over and she keeps going over things i did wrong, to controling and i over reacted alot... Is it over, or is there sumthing i can say that will change her mind, ive pretty much said everything...

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

I am so sorry about your break-up. Hugs to you. Unfortuantely, it sounds like she has her mind made up and there's probably not much you can do at this point. In her mind, she has valid reasons. The more you beg, plead, text, cry is going to tick her off and push you away even more. The best thing is to leave her alone as hard as may be. Take care.

[Tigris]

I agree with Kellbell.

 

What I also suggest is that if you do have a controlling nature then you go and get help so you can break the cycle. If she loves you and sees you helping yourself then she may come back to you. But first of all you have to have the evidence to prove it.

 

Good luck.

[p0w3RFuL]

Hey guys, i really appreciate all ur replies it really helps.. Im so heartbroken i dont know what to do with my self, i feel so weak inside.. i didnt go to school.. im devastated so many memories to get rid of.. the pictures..the wallpaper on my phone.. the movie she baught for me, her pajamas.. it hurts so so so so much...its almost an unbearable pain, but i found that getting out of the house helps..

 

I was supposta go to her school for lunch, but i called the school and they said no visitors allowed. so i texted her and told her that. i told her i wanted to talk to her about other things too like my mom n stuff, but really i just want to be with her again.. it hurts...so bad.. the cd she burned for me with the writing 'from your baby amanda i love u'

oh my i hate this so bad im crying again lol. im basicaly giving up now. she called me when i was driving and asked what happened when i called the school, and i said im not gona be able to go over there, she said she still wanted to talk to me about things (like my mom she said) i said cryingly im just going to try to get over you and we said bye...

 

damn this hurts i dont want to go to work lol im such a panzy but w/e cant control it

 

damn i remember her last night saying if its meant to be then its meant to be and we will end up with each other again.. i hate when girls confuse guys.. lol sorry had to edit im gona continue crying

[PocoDiablo]

Hey guy,

 

Yeah, this can really suck. But ask yourself this: If you were in her shoes, would she say your behavior is attractive in any way? I understand how bad a breakup can tear you apart, but you really need to realize a few things.

 

First, you've got to go hang out with some new friends. Yes, you have problems with your mom, so you need to talk about those problems with your buddies. I would strongly recommend almost never talking about personally problems with a love interest. Your GF wants to go out with you and have a good time; she most likely does not want to be your replacement mother or your therapist. So treat her with some respect and realize that you two should be together to make each other happy by having fun together.

 

Second, recognize that you are a man, and you need to have a little self-control. She has given you the brush off, but do you know why? Do you think it's because of the way you are acting? Is it possible that she is saying "Hey, he's so child like ... it's a big turn off. I want a man who acts strong, confident, has self control, and who doesn't just dump everything on me at once."

 

Personally I think there are two places a man can be in relation to a woman - in a child position and in a father position. As a child, you crave the attention of the woman as a replacement to your parents or mother, you need her support and understanding to help you stand up. As the father, YOU are the strong one, and you understand being sad and crying is child-like and not the basis of a strong romantic relationship.

 

Think about it. Does James Bond cry about how many bad guys are out to get him? No, he just goes and does something about it, and at the same time makes sure his leading lady is out of harms way. Your job - as I see it - is to protect your woman from all harm, both physically and mentally/emotionally. You can't do that if you are begging to see her, sending her text messages about silly school rules, and basically reporting back to "mom."

 

Third, I think she's done with you. Probably with good reason. You probably have lost all respect from her and that's it - I'd be surprised if she wanted you back. So you need to think exactly about what you are doing and realize ... everything you are doing is unattractive! You're practically stalking her, which is really desperate, and that will scare off any person. Why? Well, think about it. Let's say you knew some nice girl, but were really not into her. How would you feel if she kept texting you, trying to meet up with you, crying about whatever... it's kind of ugly and kind of scary. It's very immature, as well.

 

So what to do?

 

Well, hang out with friends. Go watch some movies. May I recommend "The Tao of Steve" which gives you some good advice on how not to look desperate. You may also want to watch "Groundhog Day" which shows how long it can take to get good at meeting women. This is not a simple thing, and I don't know many guys who can do it right until they get into their mid twenties to thirties.

 

Why do you think women like older men?

 

So, all I am saying is THINK. LOOK. ANALYZE. What are you doing? Is it working? No? Do the opposite. Try something else. Keep trying. Keep learning.

 

And dump all your problems on us, we'll help!

[p0w3RFuL]

Thanks, i have made the plans to spend the night at my cousins house tonight, im going to let her know im over her, not call her..nothing

 

i just honestly cant be alone right now, i need to be with people i cant be at my house alone.. i used to spend every single weekend with this girl, and i cant just be alone this weekend, im going to try to make every day of my weekend fun and enjoying and i know its not going to go that way, but i will still try. tonight 8)

[p0w3RFuL]

i cant believe this, she calls me during her lunch to tell me sorry for the way she was acting today, and she admited she was really mean. she said she wants me out of her life but then again she doesnt. She also said we can be friends and all this stuff, we talked until she had to go, then at the end i say, can i see u today after i get off( dumb i know) she said no shes getting signed out early to go shopping with friends for her homecoming dress... so im like oh bye, but then she shouts at the end ''wait'' want to go with me to shop for homecoming dresses? i was like uhm..... i guess? i dont know why i said yes thats gotta be the most retarded thing to do but w/e

 

why is she f***ing with me like this?? i dont get it..WTF IS SHE F***ing WITH ME!!??

[kellbell]

She wants you in her life as a friend. She called up to apologize for her behavior and wanted to include you in her plans to shop. Doesn't necassarily mean she wants to get back together. Clearly, this behavior upsets and confuses you so maybe shopping and contacting her may not be a good idea for awhile. I would start NC right away and try your best to keep busy with other things.