iamconfused5302 Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Well my Ex and I broke up 2 months ago. Shes recently going out with a guy that lives faraway in a diff. state. But yet, she still asks about how im doing to my friend. Every weekend she asks us to come out and hang. But the last 2 weeks we havent hung out with her and she was upset. I feel pretty good about it. Cause im healing not seeing her. I mean, I still like her alot but its in the back of my mind. I have to be happy with myself before anything else. Yea, I def. want to get back together someday. But who knows whats going to happen. I really dont know if im doing the right thing. In addition, she ims me online. Thats all. Is this the right thing to do?' Am I ever gonna get back out with her? Who knows Link to comment
kellbell Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Yes, you are doing the right thing. Going about your business and putting yourself first. You have to, that's the only way you able to move on and heal. I remember you posting this last week. She's asking about you because she still cares and she got mad you for not wanting to hang out with her is because she took it as you being mad at her and that's not what she wants. She wants to make sure everything is cool between the two of you meanwhile she moves on with her life. It's to lessen the guilt and burden on her. Will you get back together...who knows? No one knows the future, but carry on life with the notion that you won't. Take care my friend and best wishes to you. Link to comment
iamconfused5302 Posted October 24, 2005 Author Share Posted October 24, 2005 she keeps mentioning that she wants to be friends. i dont know y she pushes that issue the most. y she wants to be friends with me. esp. she says she is never friends with her ex bf's Link to comment
kellbell Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Like I mentioned before, any person who does the dumping and wants to remain friends with an ex, usually means he or she wants to lessen the guilt of being the dumper. I am guessing this is the case with her. From your posts, I get the feeling that you are not ready to be her friend right now. At this point, who cares if she gets mad at you, she dumped you. It's defiantely ok to put yourself first and do NC. Link to comment
nataliejulie Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Like I mentioned before, any person who does the dumping and wants to remain friends with an ex, usually means he or she wants to lessen the guilt of being the dumper. I am guessing this is the case with her. From your posts, I get the feeling that you are not ready to be her friend right now. At this point, who cares if she gets mad at you, she dumped you. It's defiantely ok to put yourself first and do NC. I think there's another big reason. And it's the reason my ex remained friends with me, he's admitted this. COMFORT. He didn't want to lose me, he didn't want me out of his life. He's told me that I'm the only person that cares most about him in the world and he didn't want to lose that. Pretty selfish but it can happen. Link to comment
iamconfused5302 Posted October 24, 2005 Author Share Posted October 24, 2005 its funny, she herself how selfish she is. and that she misses me and my friends when she doesnt hang out with them every weekend. O wells, she cant have her cake and eat it too. so i dont know Link to comment
iamconfused5302 Posted October 24, 2005 Author Share Posted October 24, 2005 well, she keeps asking me to be her friend. esp when she knew that i was unsure. then she goes that it will be .001% for us to be together if we are not friends. She doesnt know if she misses me or my co. Than that if shes with the new guy and wanting to find out if she wants me instead Link to comment
Juha Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Iamconfused she is playing a game in her head...SHe is confused about what she is doing and wants you around so she can choose who she wants when she makes up her mind.... When that is I can't tell you and neither can she, but if you go along with the game she wont have to make a choice...She does not want to... She can be with the new guy and have all the comfort of you being there for her also, except you wont get what you want or need in return... Save yourself the frustration and don't do it...If you can talk with her tell her how you feel if she is not the type of person that can sit and talk with you then don't bother...Let her think you are mad and if it bothers her tough...If she cares about you and has feelings for you she will think about it and get in touch with you ..... Live your life for you now as she has made it clear you are not what she wants.... Link to comment
iamconfused5302 Posted October 24, 2005 Author Share Posted October 24, 2005 shall i do the NC? Link to comment
coooolsome Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Do what you think you need to do. I would suggest not talking more than once a week. I would say that once every 2-3 weeks is best. This way you cant really fall into the friend trap b/c you dont hang out with her, you dont talk everyday. She will be able to see what life is like without you. Do NC if you think you need to but I think 2-3 week NC then call then another 2-3 week NC might be better in your case. This way at least you keep the communication lines open a little. Link to comment
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