What to do with old instant messenger chat logs of your ex??

[steve-0]

So I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago who I had been seeing for a year. We have some contact but its tapered off alot since we broke up. However, I still have all the old MSN chat logs from the past year we had been dating. I admit I look at them from time to time.

 

What should I do with these? Should I erase them and let the past be the past or should I keep them around so maybe I can learn different things from them about relationships for future girlfriends? There were good things and bad things in these chat logs.

 

I am asking this question because I'm sure it concerns almost everybody on this forum who is going thru a breakup...yet i havent found a post on this question so far.

[melrich]

Only my opinion but I would get rid of them. They are from another time and another place. The lessons of your relationship with her will be in your head.

[annie24]

or you can burn them to a disk, and put the disk in a far away corner of your closet. Maybe in a few years, you can look back on them fondly, but for now, best that they are out of sight.

 

good luck

[jna35]

Personally, I would delete them. That's your past and to move forward you need to leave that behind.

[HellFrost666]

Delete them. I don't see the point in holding on to the passed.

 

I have a ritual I've always done when a relationship ends. I burn everything. All the pictures, the letters... everything. It's very cleansing.

 

Hey, this is my last post as Junior Member...

[Trax]

Delete them immediately otherwise you'll start to question old dead issues. Its hard to do because there's some good stuff there too, but in the end out of site out of mind is the best. I know I just went through some digital photos of me and my ex and it was hard to get rid of them because we looked happy and good in them, but it was better to just delete them.

[Jaela]

I disagree with the bulk of these replies, but it is really up to you. Personally I would save them to a disk, or print them out depending on how lengthy they are. Then I would stash them away in a box and leave them alone for a very, very long time.

 

Even for my most painful breakups, I've always saved memorabilia/old letters, photos, etc. I know a lot of people who burn things while they are emotional. But that seems strange to me because it's almost as if you're trying to erase a part of your past.

 

Someday, a year or two from now, you'll look back in rememberance. For now, keep these out of sight until you've fully healed. Or delete them, if that's what you feel is best. But you may later regret it. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

[chai714]

Save them to a .txt file, email it to yourself, and put it in email archives. Afterwards, delete it from your computer. If you want to be safe, send it to two of your email addresses (make sure they are different domains. ex email removed and email removed) just in case one of them goes down for some unknown reason.

[HellFrost666]

Jaela,

That part of my passed will always be there in my head, and that's really all I need or want.

 

My passed relationships were ugly, and not worth holding onto.

[darkblue]

I think people here are quick to judge.

I think it depends how you broke up.

 

If you would rather forget about them - delete them.

If not, save them somewhere out of your reach.

[J a m e s]

i have pictures from holidays etc of my ex which were on my pc, i have put them on a cd and deleted them off my pc.

 

mainly because they were happy times i had, and dont wish to fully erase them.

[L8RISER]

Chuck it! What's the point in keeping them....are you really going to look back at them years from now. They only had significance because you were together. I mean really, imagine yourself a couple years from now, happily coupled with the latest love of your life; are you going to spend a rainy Sunday afternoon reminiscing about a dead relationship? Probably not.

 

After my first relationship, I kept things thinking that they would still be important one day. Truth is, they weren't. Now, when I know that it's really over, everything goes. Birthday cards, post cards, love letters, photos where you look bad and they look great, all those gifts you pretended to love - in the garbage! Harsh? Maybe, but from my experience I've found that to be reality of the situation.

[steve-0]

Hmm very good points on both sides. It's hard because I am against just "erasing" an important part of your life. Howver, I also dont believe in bringing up the past and dwelling on a time in your life that was only significant then

[Jaela]

In my opinion, everyone comes into my life and passes through for a reason, so I enjoy keeping small rememberances. I have old love letters that I get a chuckle from finding today, from ten years ago. At the time, being dumped by the popular high school senior felt like the end of the world. Now when I come accross things I look back and say, "Oh ya, I remember him!" and smile, remembering the role he played in my life then, and how far I've come and evolved since that portion of my life.

 

I dont know. I may just be more sentimental than most. I just love finding old things at random, weird times.

 

I hold no bitterness towards any of my breakups, so perhaps that is why it's easier for me to hold onto things. It's ultimately up to you, if you feel keeping a novel of chat logs is a hinderance or worth it or not. I don't know if I'd keep a log, although I'd probably hold onto something small as a token of my newly passed relationship.

 

Remember, if you're not healed yet and decide to save some of these logs, put them far far away. Bury them if you have to.

[Paperstreet]

I still got my old logs. I don't like to look at them, cause it makes me feel like crap. But I just can't throw them out.

[steve-0]

Ok I have burned them all to a cd and erased them from my computer. So I cant access them easily anymore. I am going to leave the cd at my moms house so I wont be able to look at them when I want to haha.

 

One step at a time. This way I still know I have them but I wont look at them all the time and feel depressed haha.

[fadedfantasy]

Yeah, I have my old logs too. I can't look at them anymore, It hurts me too much. I use to think by looking at them he was still a part of me. But now it just causes too much pain. So I didn't delete them but I put them away.

[MissJones]

If you can handle it - keep them.

 

If you can't handle it - delete them.

 

I had to delete all emails and chats that I saved from ex boyfriend because I kept looking at them all the time and felt stuck in the past. I couldn't move on knowing they were so easily accessible. While they were lovely messages, funny messages and sentimental messages, it was the worst thing I could do by constantly reading them.

 

It was a gutwrenching decision to delete them all but very liberating when I did.