feeling blue

[cinderella jones]

I don't know if anyone can relate but I am feeling really down lately and I am not sure how to get my act together without carrying all of this sadness around. I have been through many bad break ups and one in particular that happened last June. I finally cut this guy completely out of my life and presently I am seeing someone new. However, my ex and I had great chemistry and although he turned out to be a cheater I do miss that connection that we had. The new man in my life is great but I find at times that he is caught up in his own world and at times I feel slightly ignored. I don't think he means to be that way but I still think that he can acknowledge me a bit more and treat me as I should be treated because it is a new relationship and I can't help but feel at times that he acts as if I have been going out with him for years. Our relationship doesn't have that "I'm crazy about you feel to it"...ya know and although everyone is different and I am trying my best not to compare, I can't help but feel at times that my relationship should be a bit more exciting than this....I feel bad at times that I feel that way because he can be sweet when he shows it.; such as writing poetry to me. And although that is sweet, his actions when he is around me don't match what he writes about ( he writes about us in the future)... I have tried to talk to him about this but his reaction always seems to be that he doesn't know what to do about it...that he can just be himself and that's all.. I can't help but think that he should try a bit harder for me in a way that he makes me feel like he is crazy about me and can't stop thinking of me ..I am not sure why it is he thinks I over think things too much. It's hard as a woman my age to ask for that attention without feeling needy but he doesn't get that. It's bad enough that I don't see him during the week b/c he lives a bit far for that kindof travel back and forth so we try and keep it on the weekends...Also when we talk on the phone he hardly ever has anything to say but yet he can spend time chatting with his friends on line without thinking about how much time he is spending doing that. I wish at times he would just surprise me in some way to show that we see each other eye to eye...and as I said before although he can do sweet things at times, it just seems that those sweet things are done just to keep me quiet without complaints . I dunno what to do about this I am just tired of feeling depressed..and i don't want another failed relationship.......how do I work this out without sounding like a nag?....

[kellbell]

It sounds like you had great chemistry with your ex but he turned out to be a cheater and now this new beau is great and what you are looking for, but no chemistry. I feel for ya girl, it's like the love gods are laughing at us. I think you may want to keep your options open for someone you would be "crazy" about. Everyone deserves that. Don't sell yourself short. No, it's not wrong for a woman your age to ask for what your asking for, but it's wrong to with a person you don't have good chemistry with, ya dig?

I have been following your posts for a few weeks and what you have been writing, I would perhaps put the brakes on finding that special someone for you, deal with some of the demons from your previous relationship, if you don't you are going to settle and that's what it sounds like you are doing now. Just on focus on you and what you want and not these dudes. Take care and be well.