28 weeks pregant, and scared, don't want a C-section

[miracle29]

I am 28 weeks pregnant and having a bit of anxiety over how or if i'm going to survive this birth. I have something called "Synechia/Ashemans Syndrome" which is a rare condition that causes scar tissue in the abdomen and can have "disasterous" effects on a woman trying to have a baby. A huge percentage of women with this are found to be infertile. I am lucky that I am even pregnant and I'm happy that I am...however...

 

About a year ago, my husband and I lost a baby. We had to get a D&C. This may be where I developed this strange thing, but the doctors are not 100% sure on this, because my situation is so rare and unusual that my scar tissue/muscle runs from the top of my stomach all the way down to the bottom. Most women with this don't have it from top to bottom, they have it in one section but not all the way down in a strip. They don't know if I was born with this or developed it as a cause of a mishap from the D&C from the miscarriage.

 

My whole pregnancy has been very nice, and I refused to listen to them when they told me that I'd never make it to 3 months..then 4 months, and now i'm going into my 7th month. I stayed positive and refused to let anyone make me mentally weak so i'd lose this baby. Well turns out that the baby is fine, and is on one side of my stomach. The amniotic fluids are on the other side (but some how the baby is still recieving it) and my placenta is growing into this muscle in the middle. They were afraid I'd bleed to death, or miscarry again because of the way the placenta was growing but I stayed postive .

 

Now here is where the real concern comes in. The Dr. Told me that the baby is breech. I know its too soon to tell if she will stay that way but I'm so scarred that she just might and in that case they will have to opt for a C-section. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE THE BABY LIKE THIS. I want a natural birth, I want to be able to have no marks on my stomach and I don't want to be cut open. NO NO NO. I was so upset when the Dr. told me this that I saw red. I told him, I don't want this, I want natural birth. But here is the kicker, depending on this ashermans and how she is postioned I may have no choicek, because her being breech is just one of the setbacks, if she can't receive her amniotic fluids, she may indeed have to be cut out this way.

 

I am afraid to get cut open and go under the knife. What if they cause more truama to my abdomen, what if they cause a bigger scar tissue muscle and i can't have anymore children? What If i dont make it out? I'm so afraid. I have brought this up to my husband and he says"you'll be fine" but he can't guarantee this. No one can. I want to have a normal birth, and be normal. Why do i have to have this thing?

 

Anyhow i'm looking for support more or less or if anyone on this forum has had this and survived with out the C-section, please let me know..it would make me feel so much better.

 

 

Also stay tuned to part "Duex" of this, called "I don't want a scar on my darn stomach!!!!"

[RayKay]

Hey Miracle,

 

Sorry to hear that you may have some complications during birth, but I will say this....I know its not favourable, which is entirely reasonable, however in your case it may be medically necessary.

 

I think when it comes down to it, it is your baby, and YOU that matter most, and while it IS major surgery and can cause some complications, the important thing is that you and your child ARE okay. I know people who have had C-sections - either preplanned due to medical reasons or emergency, and all of them said the same thing - I wish I could of done it naturally, but when it came down to it, there was ABSOLUTELY no question about going ahead with the C-section. They took some more time to recover, but they did and had healthy babies to show for it.

 

Now you may NOT have to have one - I was born breech too naturally - however given the scarring it may have to happen and just be prepared as best you can for that - read about it, talk about it with others, doctors, and be informed. She may turn before then, and then your chances increase of delivering naturally but even then...you never know what else could happen. Many women with perfectly healthy pregnancies and bodies go in and must get C-sections when things go wrong (cord wrapped around neck of baby, etc).

 

Yes, you might get more scars, but just as no one can guarantee you can't, no one can say you WILL either. And if it does happen, confront that when you get there...again there, even if NOTHING scarred, there are no guarantees, right? For now though, think of THIS child.

[jna35]

First of all congratulations on your pregnancy! I wish you and your baby health and happiness!!

 

Your fears are perfectly natural. I had both my children naturally, but many of my friends had to have C-Sections to safely deliver their babies. Rest assured that medicine today is so much more advanced than even 13 years ago when I had my first. My friends remained awake for their C's, but every case is different. I know you want what's best for your baby and who knows, she may turn and you can give a vaginal birth a shot. The doctors don't want to put you or your baby through any unnecessary trauma. As for a scar, I don't want to sound rude here, but does it REALLY matter as long as your baby is healthy? One of my best friends had a C and her scar is barely noticeable. Try not to worry about what might happen and just concentrate on keeping yourself as stress free as possible because your little one can feel that. I'm sure you will be a wonderful mom and that everything will be just fine.

[Hope75]

Hi Miracle,

 

While I don't know anything about your condition, I do know that C cections in the traditional sense only create a tiny scar on your lower abdomen, just above your bikini line. It is only 4-5" long, and very minimal. They only cut the bare minumum to get the baby out, since the larger the incision, the higher risk for complications.

 

I am not sure that with your condition your surgical approach might be different than the traditional C.

 

What has the doctor told you about a vaginal birth? Can you at least try that and see if the baby tolorates the contractions OK?

 

What about a second opinion?

 

I'm sorry for the loss of your first baby. That must have been very diffcult for you.

[avman]

Don't feel that if you don't have a vaginal birth that somehow it isn't "normal". The C-section was developed to provide greater safety to both the mother and the baby in high risk situations just like you are describing.

 

All 3 of my children were born via C-section. We wouldn't have had it any other way. The pregnancies were high risk, so they monitored everything. They could plan out the best time to deliver the baby based on how things were developing. And the babies were all born just fine, even though things were rough for awhile.

 

Nearly all surgeons use a "bikini-cut" which is extremely low on your abdomen. Unless you are wearing the tiniest thongs they make, most all swimsuit bottoms will cover the line. And over time the scar will fade into the normal folds of your skin. Not to mention even in a natural birth you may have some stretch marks develop on your stomach.

 

This is all perfectly normal. Talk to your doctor about the risks of each approach. Then make the choice that is best for you and for the baby.

[melrich]

I also don't think it is a great idea to seek lay man's opinions or examples of success against the advice of your doctors. No two situations are the same and it is better for you not to build up obstacles that will get in the way of making a decison that is medically the best available to you and your baby.

 

Congrats on teh pregnancy, I did not realise it was against such odds...as I have mentioned to you before we will be giving birth around the same time (well I won't..you no what I mean).

 

Anyway as Avman says, don't think of a C-section as anything other than a normal birth. C-sections have been around since man was born and as soon as you see your baby the method of delivery will become completely irrelevant.

[Mamasita]

First of all congratulations on a successful pregnancy despite the odds.

 

but im just a bit puzzled about what a big fuss ur making over the delivery of ur child. things are not always perfect, pregnancy is such an intricate miracle - if she is breech, so be it. sure natural birth is apparently better due to quicker recovery etc. but u know what, if u cant have a natural birth - just deal with it. the IMPORTANT thing is that ur baby is delivered with the least amount of risk, and if ur docter knows u have to have a c-s then try get ur head around it.

 

u sound like a very positive person, a little pragmatism will not go astray here. they do not suggest c-s for the hell of it, ALL docters prefer a safe& natural birth, in ur case they are concerned for the safety of ur child. i was due for a natural birth with no apparent complications... however after 30 hours of labour (no walk in the park i can assure u) they realised my son's head was on a bad angle for vaginal delivery, he was getting distressed and an emergency c-s was called at the last minute... FYI i had dilated 9 3/4 cms so i thought after all that i was FINALLY THERE when the anticlimactic announcement was made and i was off to the theatre. but u know what... i wasnt going to question the Dr - no matter what i had to go through i just wanted my baby to be SAFE.

 

so i think u should just have an open mind towards this, when it comes to childbirth - even the best laid plans go awry. my c-s scar is hardly noticiable, a week of discomfort was about all i had... whats THAT after months of it?? At the end of the day a reward that means far more then all ur troubles to get there awaits u - a beautiful child u will love more then life itself, and makes u so infinitely happy that its all worth it.

 

xoxReese

[ScreenagerX]

First of all congratulation on being a future mum. I don't need to cover how hard it actually is to get pregnant & carry full term.

 

I honestly wouldn't stress about the c-section. If it happens it happens. My wife could only dilate to 4 cm so she was put through for an emergency caesar with absolutlely no ill after effects whatsoever. My wife was still quite active afterwards going on walks etc. I think that if the doctors can handle an emergency c-section then an elective or pre-warned will be just as successful.

 

I agree with Avman. A c-section should still be seen as a "normal" birth. Just remember the obstacles you've gone through to get where you are anyway that alone should outweigh any concerns.

[annie24]

Congrats on the pregnancy!

 

Have you gotten a second (medical!) opinion? Maybe consult a doctor who has a specialty in treating your particular disease, see what they think. If I were you, I would get a 2nd, and a 3rd opinion...

[miracle29]

First of all thank you to all of you who took the time to respond to this. Avman your response has truly made me feel the best. The other responses were great too, but since you're a 3rd timer on this, I really felt safe with your post.

 

Now to all of the women who keep saying "big deal its just a scar" PLease don't insult me. This is not just about a petty tiny scar, this i about fear of death. I'm afraid that due to this muscle, scar tissue abnormality that if they do this C'section It could cause more scar tissue and I wouldnt be able to have another child. Or worse..i'd bleed to death. So this isnt about me just wanting to be cute and "forget the baby" this is about me fearing for my life. OFCOURSE if it came between the baby living or c-section i wouldnt ever second guess it, but this is so much more complicated then just a "i don't want that scar". I guess I could have mentioned this earlier, but I fear not making it through. I fear bleeding or losing too much blood or the Amniotic leaking and a premature birth, so please re-read the post before you think I would be so selfish as to say, "Oh well, the baby can do whatever, but i'm not having a scar" because my fears are about something even more serious then the cut. What if they screw me up again like they did with the D&C? What if they cause more abnormalities and then when we want the second baby, i can't even conceive? These are my real concerns. But again I thank all of you for trying to respond, i know this is not an easy post.

 

Again, Avman, that made me feel so much better. And just a question for you (though i know we are all different) how long did it take for your wife of the three kids to heal? Could she walk, did she worry that she too would die? Were you afraid for her as well? Do C-sections affect the baby at all negatively?

[miracle29]

About that second opinion. Well sadly I hate to break it to you guys but this is actually my 3rd set of Doctors. I moved from another state here to Alaska and sadly the new Doctor (who is awesome) did a very thourough 1 hour ultra sound on me. I was hoping for a miracle, but to no avail, he sand the same song! He said" the baby is fine, its you we are concerned with. We will have to moniter you every 3 weeks or so and as it gets closer, we'll have to watch you closer. "

[Hope75]

Oh, I didn't take your post at all to mean that all you care about is a scar. I hope you didn't think I thought you were shallow, not the case at all!

 

Of course with any surgical procedure there is risk involved and again not knowing about your condition I could not say how increased the chance of complications are, but yes this is definitely something to discuss with your doctor and possibly get a second opinion on.

[annie24]

I don't know a lot about this subject, but I think that I've heard that babies may be breech, and then in the weeks before the birth, the "flip" right side up again.

 

Unfortunately, it seems that you have to go with whatever procedure has the least amount of risk involved.

[RayKay]

I personally did not assume you were worrying about the cosmetic side of it - so sorry if it came accross that way. I was however trying to help you prepare for the fact it COULD happen, even if you did not already have these complications and so it was best you be prepared for it, in ANY case.

 

Yes, there ARE risks, however the priority right now is you and your baby. There are risks with C-sections (just as there are with natural births), however they are greatly minimized and the procedure is relatively common...your priority then is to be as informed as possible.

[miracle29]

The saddest part about this is that "most women" unless they are pregnant or have a reason to go get an ultra sound, would never know they had this. Some women can't even concieve children because of this, and others have lost so many babies due to this rare thing. I even know a woman who protested "abortion" because she knew that if a girl got one, her chances increase for having this (just type in asherman's syndrome" and read the sad stories). I am lucky to have the baby, but I do fear for my life. I have had nightmares that I woke up bleeding and my husband has had to stop me from crying histerically because the nightmares are so real I forget where i'm at for a while. Last night I just had another one and so I finally broke down and wrote this post.

 

I do have something I want to say to any woman who may be having complications getting pregnant or keeping thier babies...please see if they can test you for this, this may answer some of your questions as well.

[jna35]

Sorry if I made you feel bad too. It's quite obvious that you love your baby VERY much!! I hope that your new doctor can alleviate your fears. I think your fears of complications are perfectly normal, especially considering what you've been through already with the D&C, but I'm equally sure that your doctor will do what he feels is best to keep you and your baby safe throughout the rest of your pregnancy and delivery. I wish you the best!

[avman]

It took my wife very little time to heal. It was amazing really. Within a week she was feeling much better and walking around just fine. She always felt 1000% better once the baby was out. I have been told this is not typical and that most women take longer than that before they are feeling better. So this seems to vary widely depending on the person and the situation.

 

Did she worry about dying? Well no, she didn't. There are of course always risks. But the risks were actually substantially higher if we had attempted a vaginal birth. So after consulting with the doctors we all thought a c-section was the best alternative.

 

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it was a piece of cake. It is surgery so there is a lot involved. But we made sure we were very informed, we asked tons of questions, and I got to be there throughout the process. Though I'll admit I was too chicken to actually watch the surgery and I stayed up by my wife's head and talked to the anesthesiologist instead.

 

Can C-sections affect the baby negatively, well there are always risks. Once again you have to measure which risk is lower. If a vaginal birth presents more risk to the baby, then a c-section is preferable. Realize that once they get going on the C-section it is extremely fast. By the time they had my wife prepped and I entered the room it was less than 10 minutes before the baby was delivered. And the surgeons told me if they needed to hurry for any reason they could be done in less than 2 minutes.

 

I'd suggest you maybe take a childbirth class where they show a c-section video. You may be fearful of watching it, but I'll tell you that the more informed you are the less fearful you will eventually be.

 

Everything you are feeling is totally normal. New parents worry about their baby's health. It's just instinctive. I think you are right to ask any possible type of question you may have so that you feel more comfortable with your choices.

[miracle29]

Wow, what an incredible story. Avman you and your wife should have been on TLC...or something. I really enjoyed that. My husband is very calm at the sight of blood and more, so he'll actaully get a kick out of it and want to see what the Doctor is doing. Knowing him ..he'll probably want to help and I'll have to have someone hold him back. He is so excited, to have his first "blood related" relative. He was adopted and has no recollection of his real mother or father. So this is more then just a first baby, to him this is a start of a new chapter in his life. I don't want to disappoint him. I thank you so much for taking the time to post what you did, i know you are a moderator and don't really have time to write books so it makes me feel special that you wrote as much as you did. I will show this to my husband as well so he too can feel somewhat at ease. He being the man he is...he plays it cool, but I know him, he is afraid too. He wants this baby so bad, I think he's just as soon deliver her if he had too.

Lol,

But most NORMAL men are chicken in that delivery room, they pass out or worse, they faint before they even get to the hospital. So in a way, pat yourself on the back, you didnt faint.

[ScreenagerX]

Though I'll admit I was too chicken to actually watch the surgery and I stayed up by my wife's head and talked to the anesthesiologist instead.

 

Yeah I was the same. I had 1 look over the curtain as the were making the first incision then looked away as I didn't know how my stomach was going to react (can't be throwing up in theatre now) then another a little while later when the doctors pressed down on her stomach. There was no way in hell I wasn't going to be in there with her. My wife felt nothing through the entire procedure & God himself couldn't have wiped that smile of anticipation off her face.

[avman]

No, I didn't faint. But I'll warn you it wasn't the blood that bothered me. It was the sounds. Snip, snip, suction, squishy this, retraction that. *shudder*

 

The very first time the surgeon played new age music in the OR. Now that was very soothing for all of us. The other times were more interesting. And then there was the basic human anatomy which I really didn't need to see. Let me just say that I now know why God gave us all skin. Because we're awfully hideous things underneath it!

[miracle29]

Well i have a confession and this one I don't mind anyone jumping on me for because its pathetic. I tried watching the TLC channel to get over the site of a woman having a baby. I totally ruined my oldest sisters 2nd birth because I was suppose to be there but ran out and gagged. I couldnt handle the smell (oh yes..there is a strong smell) or the site of blood and all those sounds you "Avman" mentioned. I was totally grossed out, and had to get a grip. But i will say i was only the18 yrs old then. I'm much older now...lol.. so I think its me who may wimp out or faint at the site of my own placenta. (gags)

[avman]

The placenta isn't bad. Seeing the uterus inside out is something I won't soon forget.

[annie24]

I think if you talk to your doctor, they could put some kind of... I don't know... fabric around your neck, like a curtain, so you can't see what's going on down there. You don't have to watch anyways, the doctors will keep everything under control.

 

I think if you tell your doctors you may be sqeamish, they will try to help you have as relaxed an environment as possible. New age music sounds good!

[jna35]

You know what miracle? I was kinda squeamish with mine too, so I am with you on that!! The afterbirth got me and made my husband cringe too!!Birth isn't very "pretty," but the outcome is well worth it. You are going to do GREAT and I hope that you will let us all know how it goes! I will keep you in my prayers for a safe and healthy delivery.

[miracle29]

Wow thank you Jna, that is great. I'll need all the prayers and postitive thoughts. If all goes wll i will totally update everyone here. She must know that I"m talking about her because she is totally kicking me and moving around. lol. I love that part.