What's your age gap?

[coollady1957]

There was 2 years difference in me and my husband. He was the older of us.

 

After my husband died, the next year I became involved with and was with a man 6 years older than myself.

 

Right now I have no one in my life romantically. So there is no age gaps to compare.

[missbrittanyy]

me and my most recent boyfriend (broke up yesterday)

had a 9 year age difference. im 17 and he's 26

[missbrittanyy]

Ahhhhhhhh jailbait. lol.

 

i dont think people post here, to be judged.

[NYAmicas]

9 years difference.

He's 30 years old.

[jasmine888]

im 21 AND he's 39...i think the hardest thing for us is we think very differently..I have learned so much from him..but I have a ? is it true..we get with people unknowling that we think/know will heal us. because I have a very bad relationship with my father..is that why I choose and got soooo attached to someone so old..

[nottoogreen]

When I was 39 I was pretty depressed and got involved with a 22 year old girl "rescuing" her from forced marriage (by her dad) to a 2nd cousin she never even met. We lasted less than 2 years. Furtunately she is married happily in Canada. Today, I shiver at the thought of being involved with a woman half my age.

 

All you can be is a loving healthy partner to your loving healthy partner.

 

Beware of your and his motives and do not expect too much.

 

 

[indespair]

23 years. He's 24...I'm 46. We hardly notice the age gap and have a very close spiritual & physical connection. The one thing I've noticed on this site though, is that there are more older men, younger women relationships. I think our relationship is more unusual, in that I'm a woman and decidedly older, but he was the one who came looking for me!! Definitely one of the best relationships I've ever had. Are there any other older women-younger men out there with similar stories?

[Aschleigh]

I am a 29 year old women, my BF is 23. It's not a huge gap. But I notice it. Mostly becuase I have dated a lot and want to be in a monogamous long term relationship. He hasn't dated a lot, he was in one 3 1/2 relationship from 19 years old on. And he has some wild oats to sow apparently.

I really wish he had broken up with the ex much sooner and dated around, so that by the time he met me he would have experienced some more. But he didn't.

Now we have been together for 6 months. It was total bliss for 3 months, then it got rocky as we got more intimate and closer emotionally. I personally have been very hurt in intimate relationships, so I get insecure easily. We love each other, we are having fun but aren't sure where it will go. How does anyone know where things will go?

I love him very much. We can talk about anything which is so important to me. He says i am the best thing to ever come into his life. But we have rocky periods too. Sometimes he's distant, I can be very codependent. He alternates between real closeness and then needing space. Perhaps this is all "normal" for the first 6 months. We are still getting to know eachother.

I know he is the one I want to wake up next to. Maybe by being 29 and more experienced I know how good it is compared to other relationships and I know how much work it takes to maintain something great. I know I have to be patient. We are very honest with each other. Which I feel bodes well for anything long term. But it certainly is a challenge. He is just out of college. I have been out of college for 5 years. We have differences. We also have a lot of love and respect between us.

[Baby Carrot]

25 years. I am 22, my BF is 47. We don't even notice it.

 

Hey Crickett...

 

Im a 23 year old gal, cyber dating a 46 year old guy.We're planning to meet soon (we dont even live in the same country... but oh well...) I can hardly tell the difference either, but to be honest, paranoia comes along sometimes and stupid questions pop up, such as...

 

- Do we get along so well because Im so mature, or because he's so immature...?

 

- Am I being punk'd? LOL No, Im kidding... I mean, how can I really tell if his intentions are good or this is just some byproduct of middle age crisis or some crap?

 

- Is he desperate to trap a young fresh piece of booty as a trophee that somehow shows he's better than many other old guys?

 

The chemistry between us -at all levels- is amazing, I guess at some point this kind of doubts are normal since huge age gaps like this one are always object of mockery and criticism in this apparently liberal society...

 

Just looking for some insight from people in the same situation.

[FairyLights]

I'm 16 and he's 26.

 

We both have talked about the age gap and we have decided that it doesn't matter to us because we care about each other for who we are, and it helps that everyone around us has been very supportive.

 

So 10 years is my age gap.

[bettybup]

He's 19 im 30 with 4 kids from previous marriage and a 4 month old boy with him. He does not know how to talk to me or the kids. He thinks everything is a game i feel like im in in grand theft auto.....

[gingerferret]

hi im 39yrs, hes 21yrs been together nearly 2 yrs and are happy

[stuck in a rut]

I was with a woman 11 years older than me - to be honest it was one of the best relationships I had ever had!

[marathoner55]

23 years. He's 24...I'm 46. We hardly notice the age gap and have a very close spiritual & physical connection. The one thing I've noticed on this site though, is that there are more older men, younger women relationships. I think our relationship is more unusual, in that I'm a woman and decidedly older, but he was the one who came looking for me!! Definitely one of the best relationships I've ever had. Are there any other older women-younger men out there with similar stories?

 

At one point my girlfriend was 23 and I was 22. So there was a one year age difference, with the female being older. At the time, this was about a 5% age difference.

 

We have been married a good long time. She is still one year older. So counting absolute chronological difference, the age difference is the same. However, on a percentage basis, the age difference is now smaller.

 

I think this is good. I prefer older women. Even if its only one year older.

 

- Marathoner55

[sineadx]

hi im new here, the guy i am with is 24 years older then me im 18 he is 42. But we hav loadz in common and our relationship is really strong so 2 me age doesnt bother me its what u feel 4 that person and what they feel 4 u. We havnt noticed anythin changin and i am not ashamed 2 b with him cause i love him. Jus like 2 say that all u guys i admire and glad i can talk 2 u about it cause a lot of people dont understand, but nothin wil stop me from bein with my boyfriend.

[jabell]

23 years. He's 24...I'm 46. We hardly notice the age gap and have a very close spiritual & physical connection. The one thing I've noticed on this site though, is that there are more older men, younger women relationships. I think our relationship is more unusual, in that I'm a woman and decidedly older, but he was the one who came looking for me!! Definitely one of the best relationships I've ever had. Are there any other older women-younger men out there with similar stories?

 

I'm new here and so glad to see your post! I am 57 years old. My husband died 5 years ago. He was 24 years older than me. We had a good relationship and he was my best friend. I said I'd never get into a relationship again, of any type. But guess what. Some HP (higher power) tossed me into the path of a 34 year old about 9 months ago. He's attractive, he's fun, he's loving, he's sensitive, he's intelligent, he's charismatic, he's loveable, he's.......not the average guy... not normal, I guess. He pursued me. I tried to avoid him, to avoid the developing relationship but we were in a situation where we had to spend a lot of time together. But he was too darned young! I finally gave up and gave in with many reservations. I have fallen deeply in love with him and its a relationship like no other I have ever had. We are a match in so many ways and where we are opposites we seem to compliment each other. So far, so good. But I still see the age thing while he says it never will matter. He's now talking marriage and I'm still talking age. Any help, any insights, any reassurances....advice.... would be appreciated here. Thanks.

[nottoogreen]

Hi jabell

 

Welcome to eNotAlone!

 

You seem happy together, do not worry.

 

For more info and advice please have a look in the age gap forum and feel free to post a thread.

[indespair]

But I still see the age thing while he says it never will matter. He's now talking marriage and I'm still talking age. Any help, any insights, any reassurances....advice.... would be appreciated here. Thanks.

Well, my b/f and I definitely butt heads sometimes, but that's more to do with our personalities than the age gap thing. I think when you reach your 40's, you definitely have some pretty rock solid ideas and opinions. And...let's face it, there may be a little personal "disbelief" that a younger guy would fall for us older chicks, that we're subscribing to, and thereforeeee maybe we feel a little more jaded and wary. But this kind of stuff is really all in our heads, since problems can arise with ANYONE at ANY age. And come on - there are some men out there who never mature, at any age. I know guys in their 50's and 6o's who have never grown up. I think we just have to relearn trust and be able to really love without passing judgment, if this relationship is indeed what we want. There are worse things than having a young outlook on life, even if it is naive. Relax...and enjoy this wonderful, new, surprising experience! It could be the best one you ever had!

[Shadow25]

I forgot if i've already posted my age gap.

 

I'm not in a relationship, but I like a 27 year old woman who has a 7yr old daughter, I am 18, so the age gap is pretty much 10 years.

 

I found it a little worrying that someone here said that they were 18, and were with a 45 yr old man!

To me, it sounds pretty darn gross, not on your behalf, but his, a 45yr old man should know better! That's almost pedaphilia!

 

Anyway, I don't mean to be like that, I just feel disgusted when reading that sort of thing and seeing that someone so young could be so in love with someone that is old enough to be their father...

[jazzgirrl]

I'm turning 38 in Sept and my bf is 36. I'm not finding it a problem though since we both grew up in the crazy 80s! I've dated guys 10 years younger, and it never lasted. Never dated anyone older than me.

[jabell]

I think we just have to relearn trust and be able to really love without passing judgment, if this relationship is indeed what we want. There are worse things than having a young outlook on life, even if it is naive. Relax...and enjoy this wonderful, new, surprising experience! It could be the best one you ever had!

 

Thanks - It already is the best in every way ......

[yeawutever]

Not much of a difference, I'm 19 and he's about to turn 22 on Dec.

[helpme2]

7 years, he is the older one. We don't really notice until we are out with people and they figure out how young I am (which mostly is someone else mentioning it and then people want to see my ID because they don't believe it)

 

There are always the idiots that think they are elite because I am "so young" and try the "but you don't remember " but I almost always do, if they weren't still on when I was growing up then they were in re-runs.

 

I think it's stupid that they do that, I remember a LOT from growing up that they do, it's not like we are 30 years apart or something or that TV shows really matter in the long run.

 

As far as he and I we get into the slang means different things, like when he was in highschool "hooking up" meant getting a phone number or talking, when I was in highschool "hooking up" meant sex. stuff like that.

 

It hasn't really ever been a problem.

[Monsoon]

I know, I know.

 

But it's been working really really well for us for 10 months now, and eyes firmly fixed on the future.

 

We love and support each other in ways I had not thought possible in a relationship before. The age gap is there, but mostly exists for us to poke fun at each other. She is more stable, mature and financially sound than my ex...who was 2 years older than me. Honestly, the most caring, loving, best relationships I have ever been in.

 

We had a little trouble in the beginning with her family (I was scared to death of meeting them--being that they are only 11 years older then me, it was kinda strange!) But I look very very young for my age, and after meeting them, they realized that I am a good guy...not a lecherous old fool looking to rob the cradle.

 

Now her family and I are actually very close...our common bond being forged out of the knowledge of how special this girl is. They treat me as a friend and keep asking when we are getting married!

 

First post by the way--glad to be here!

[PhilliesFan001]

Welcome to the site! I'm glad to hear everything is going well for you guys. Personally I don't see anything wrong with the gap, but I know it's scary telling the parents Congratulations.