Survey: Women... who likes to be wined and dined??

[Shadows Light]

OK.. ladies.. theres a lad out there looking for advice on his first date.

 

cal_014 take a bow sweetie...

 

Now..he's asking what does a girl like... and he was given some sound adivce by a gentleman...

 

FALLEN SHADOW

 

 

Sorry ladies if this is kinda long!!! But CAL is 16 and trying to learn what ladies like... soooo how many of you ladies like to be wined and dined... have the doors opened for you... and have your mans undivided ATTENTION on you???? and if not.. can u offer CAL some advice....

[darkblue]

I remember a (good) debate a few months ago about chivalry - The pure and simple truth is: (rarely pure and never simple)

 

Most women have their own fixed opinions on chivalry - i.e. courtesy shown by a male to a woman. e.g. Opening doors for them.

 

My advice is also to be yourself; if you're not - she'll see through it (eventually).

 

If you're funny - be funny. I do know a lot of women that detest sarcasm however, Oh well, they're not right for me.

 

If you're normally chivalrous - be chivalrous. etc.

 

I like SL's - full attention - that's a great tip.

[RayKay]

He should really just be himself, and do what feels right and strikes him as a thoughtful thing to do. Opening doors is great, no matter whether you are female or male - I think we should all be more considerate to one another anyway.

 

Personally, I do not go for the wining and dining - it is just not my nature as I prefer more active, fun dates such as cycling, frisbee, playing pool maybe with beer & wings..lol. However, I also know others do like wining and dining initially (I do enjoy going for dinner with my partner, it is just not what I base my decisions about him on!).

 

I think however giving her undivided attention IS key - no cell phones, no gawking, but also, he should not totally avoid talking of himself, but show interest in her as well. And small gestures - touching small of her back is fine andis a good way to start some connection, however he needs to read her responseébody language in return. I know its a move my bf did on me our first date, and it worked as I was open to it and it made things comfortable, but if I was uneasy with it it would not have been appreciated.

 

He should just be himself, respectful, but also HAVE FUN together! It is a date, and what will be will be, just be yourself, and enjoy it!

[DN]

I agree with the advice to be yourself. The quoted advice sounds as if it comes from the 1950s. It was fine then but now the sexes are supposed to be equal and by behaving like that men set themselves up for the rest of the relationship to be unequal and unbalanced. And women set themselves up to be treated as helpless little females.

 

Chivalry was ok - now it should be replaced by simple and reciprocal good manners.

[darkblue]

It was fine then but now the sexes are supposed to be equal and by behaving like that men set themselves up for the rest of the relationship to be unequal and unbalanced. And women set themselves up to be treated as helpless little females.

 

How can you possibly base that on a man acting chivalrous?

 

A man opening a door for a woman - sets the relationship up to be unbalanced?

 

Grossly exaggerated.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

I open the door for men and women as a act of courtesy. If a woman does't like it it means

A) She is a harpy and not the type i'd want a relationship with.

B) It lets me know who to slam the door on in a polar opposite extreme the next time I see her.

My biggest pet peeves are women who get angry when you don't open the door for them like you are some kind of neaderthal just because you didn't see them coming.

Those types disgust me.

[DN]

It was fine then but now the sexes are supposed to be equal and by behaving like that men set themselves up for the rest of the relationship to be unequal and unbalanced. And women set themselves up to be treated as helpless little females.

 

How can you possibly base that on a man acting chivalrous?

 

A man opening a door for a woman - sets the relationship up to be unbalanced?

 

Grossly exaggerated.

 

Try reading it again. You might see that I am suggesting that that sort of behaviour should be reciprocal, i.e. she can open the door for him. The original advice seemed to me to suggest that, as in the past, chivalry should be something that only men do. The word itself is derived from knighthood - up until recently a male only institution.

[BillyJean714]

I agree with everything Fallen Shadow wrote, minus the flowers part. However, this is only my personal preference. Personally, bringing flowers on the first date makes it a bit more formal, when at first the part of just 'getting to know' each other, for me, should be kept a little informal. If it's someone who I barely know, and he comes with a dozen roses, all it says to me is this person probably really just wants to get laid. Don't ask, but that's just the vibe I get when someone does this. So, yah, for the first date, maybe layoff on the flowers until later. A small plush bear or any small token of affection isn't too bad though! But, if I knew the person prior to us 'dating,' then flowers on the first date can be quite sweet!

[Shadows Light]

DN.. good manners on both parts yes. I personally wouldn't like to be the helpless female. I'm anything but helpless....lol.. maybe too independent for most men to handle. Reciprocity is nice. And good manners on both parts.. paying attention to my date as well.

 

LOL.. and yes.. I will hold doors open for men. And always smile and say thank-you if "someone" opens a door for me.

 

Dating.. I don't think that MEN should bear the expense of courtship. When I started dating.. uhmm 22yrs ago... I always tried to pay my way and go dutch. Sooo expectations weren't set up. If we went out on more than one date.. then we'd swap for the bill. He'd pick up one tab.. I pick up the next.

 

I think.. going to dinner is still a nice date. There arn't too many restaurants with quiet ambiances. Now and days.. there are too many cha-ki's on the walls to gawk at. Too many big screen tv's in every corner.. and its too loud. At a quiet dinner... you have a chance to talk and get to know one another. BUT.. yes.. I do love doing other things on dates...biking, hiking, beach volleyball, put-put golf.. (haven't done that in ages)... Batting cages, 4 wheeling, go kart races.. and of course.. AMUSEMENT PARKS... Love ROLLER COASTERS.

 

Same rules apply... a couple should have fun.. be themselves.. and pay attention to one another.

 

The hand on the small of my back.. Nice touch.

[cal_014]

well thnx heaps everyone i think from all the advice u guys hav given and thank u very much Shadows Light for opening this discussion it id say has helped many people who would go on any date i guess guys and girls and just gives a broad look on how people differ but how some other things are just nice for everyone.

 

Cheers

[cal_014]

well keep em comin ladies i think most people reading this could grab some good info from this single or together with someone.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Frankly, I find guys who know how to cook well attractive. It does not have to be a rich meal. A simple meal will do. I am not referring to professional chef. I am referring to normal guy go to your kitchen and prepare meal just for you.

 

I prefer eating at home than dinning out. Anyway, that is just my preferences.

[TheFallenShadow]

There are a few of us that still believe that chivalry is not dead, and that if more men practice this, this would be a better world, and maybe men wouldnt get such a bad rap on things....but then again....what the heck do i know, i have always tried to be chivilous and attentive, and pay close attention to the smaller things in life.....

[Day_Walker]

As you can see with everyone's advice you are being told to "be yourself", and I think thats exactly where it stops. You dont want to act out of your character, think how you are going to act towards her 6 months down the line what things will you be doing and wont you be doing.

 

I cannot take credit for this quote and it escapes me who said but it does have some truth.

 

"Chivalry is dead, and woman killed it"

 

It seems to me that people have the wrong idea about chivalry, there are women out there who want men to act in that way and if thats how they want it then have the expectation of them acting like a lady. You will find that it goes both ways.

[darkblue]

 

I cannot take credit for this quote and it escapes me who said but it does have some truth.

 

"Chivalry is dead, and woman killed it"

 

 

Dave Chappelle.

[cal_014]

Well the nights over and i had the maddest time as did she, we went to the restaurant had dinner had some beautiful desert then went back to my place and had some desert of our own it was the greatest night though and thanx again everyone especially u Shadows Light

 

Cheers

[Shadows Light]

Hey Cal_014... I am so proud of you!! were you nervous? LOL.

I bet you did great... ever want any more romantic date ideas, you just PM me anytime will be only to happy to oblige.

 

And it really is a two way street. What you put out returns to you ten fold.

What you sow... you shall reap. LOL Works everytime.

[darkblue]

Hey Cal_014... I am so proud of you!! were you nervous? LOL.

I bet you did great... ever want any more romantic date ideas, you just PM me anytime will be only to happy to oblige.

 

And it really is a two way street. What you put out returns to you ten fold.

What you sow... you shall reap. LOL Works everytime.

 

Oh yes.

Well done.

[sweetheart230]

Make her feel special. That's the bottom line. However way you choose to do that is what makes you unique and different. Holding doors open is good, though.

 

Honestly, I have no set of rules. All guys show their interest in different ways. If I feel they think I am special and are treating me as such, I am happy with it. All guys do this differently.

[Rainz]

I'm a bit late with this thread......it's important to mostly be yourself. I personally don't believe chivalry is dead, and agree with what Fallenshadow said wholeheartedly, however, if you're not chivalrous by default then you're just not.

[Tigris]

WELL DONE CAL!

 

I'm a lesbian and I treat my fiancee very well and she would verify that. She says her two husbands' never treated her the way I do. I open doors for her and make sure she's seated first, etc. I do everything a chauffeur would do even if we're in a taxi. I always pay the taxi fare and give her the change. If we've been grocery shopping I get her out of the car first and then go and empty the boot/trunk of the car.

 

Chivalry can be used in every day circumstances too. I've helped old ladies in the street, e.g. when an old lady walking down steps dropped her bunch of flowers. I stopped talking to my fiancee on my mobile phone and went over and picked them up and gave them to her and asked was she ok.

 

On other occasions I've helped young mothers struggling to get on/off buses with babies, shopping bags and buggies. This is a very difficult task for them. When I was in my teens the bus drivers would get of and help them. Not anymore!

 

The majority of this type of thing is down to common sense and politeness!