I just don't know anymore.

[babyblueeyes56]

almost over a year, I have been majorily depressed, I have attempted suicide many times before. Then I thought I was doing so much better feeling great, but then again things happened in my life that I wonder if there is any good in this world. I keep trying to force myself to be happy and forget about everything, but I just can't. Everyday I hardly to get out of bed in fear of what the day will be like. I don't want to take my life though, but I don't want to live the way I do.

[DN]

If you could change three things about your life, what would they be?

[FCTex]

Its okay to be scared, but you know what. It's not a bad thing.

 

Why are you scared to attack the day??

 

It'll sound silly, but I'm not a very.... thrilled person so to speak. I'm happy mostly, but I dont really show it, or look it sometimes. In the mornings, I used to get coffee and a biscuit from this little country gas station on the way to work. The traffic sucked, the weather sucked. I had a busy day ahead of me.. Family, social problems in my mind, and it was the morning.

 

I'd tell the old lady after she asked how I was doing, and I'd tell her not good.. Or today sucked. She's smile and hit me on my shoulder and say.. "Think on the bright side, atleast you woke up this morning, and your healthy".

 

It's cheesy, but find something in the mornings, or at night to remember that you want to do tomorrow. Find something, even small and simple that you have a goal to do, or see, or talk to. Be it a person you like, or a family member you want to tell you love. A friend you want to see. Or go to the store and buy something you've wanted.

 

Find a goal, Set it, and work for it. You'll have a reason to go through the day, and slowly, you'll realize that LIVING, is the main reason. Experience things..

 

There is good in the world, you just have to learn from the bad to overcome it, to see the good.. You can't have a happy go lucky life, all the time.. Learn and live and love.

[thegirl_00]

I suffer from depression also, it comes and goes. I get frusterated with my depression and often get angry and let it out on my loved ones. I realised this was wrong and now whenever i feel depressed and frusterated i do sit ups, go for a walk... anything active. OF corse everyone is different... if you find it hard to get up in teh morning find something... ANYTHING that will get you blood flowing and get you a little motivated. Also, eating healthy will give you energy and motivation.

[babyblueeyes56]

Hey thanks for all of the replys. I will try to find something in life to make me happy. I just wish there was a way I could get over this depression.

[FCTex]

There is.

 

Talk about it. If your embarrassed or can't find anyone to talk to, come here.

 

No one knows you personally, but they will listen. You can vent. People care. It might be impersonal to an extent, but it's honest the best therapy I've ever found.

 

To be able to tell anything, everything, randomly, what you feel, and think, to people who choose to listen/read it. It's good.

 

You will feel better. There is a reason to live, a reason to smile, a reason to wake up and thank the lord your alive...

 

Just set a goal for something, anything, and work for it..

[babyblueeyes56]

I rather not discuss with ppl I don't know

[TiredMan]

The other side of that coin is that it is very difficult sometimes to speak about your true feelings with people you DO know because of fear of how they will see you or look at you or what they will think.

[Borashi]

Hey I've been where you are at. Back in 2003, I was unemployed for a long stretch 8 months. I got into a rut, and I did at times contemplate the meaning of my existence. I've since realized that sometimes you just have to shut your brain off, don't listen to it, and just do something, anything, that'll take your mind off your problems. That could mean cruising in your car, going to the gym, cleaning up and doing little things around the house that need to be done. Life at times can feel like it's trying to beat you down, but everytime you conquer adversity, you become stronger, and harder to defeat. You will get through this patch of depression, stay positive!