Gah!! What is she upto?! What happened?!

[HaloDestroyer]

Ok, here's the story...

 

I've had this girlfriend for half a year. No problems, we had an extremely good relationship.

 

Yesterday, we had an argument. Not even a bad one, just an extended disagreement. She was quick to end our relationship, and that hurt me.

 

But what hurt me more, was, today, when she called me.

 

I, of course, expected her to want to re-forge our relationship, and apologise.

 

But instead, she informed me that she had met someone else, and was dating him.

 

What the heck?!

 

I asked her how long this had been going on, but she would tell me no details.

 

Through our relationship, there were no signs of her having cheated.

 

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

 

Any help is appreciated.

 

XxX-Ben-xXx

[confusedashell]

I guess the hard truth is that she just didnt see the relationship as seriously as you did. Dont worry mate, you're young! I know it doesnt sound like much comfort now, but theres another woman just around the corner! And she'll be more appreciative of you.

[lady00]

She used the argument as an excuse to break up when she had been wanting to for a while. She had some nerve to call you the next day and tell you she was seeing someone else and then refuse to answer your questions about that relationship...she shouldn't have brought it up unless she was prepared to answer to you for her deception. All of this behavior is pretty cruel of her. Sorry man. Maybe she was cheating, maybe she wasn't but she was definitely talking to this other guy and thinking about getting with him for some time and to her the argument was an excuse to leave. Initiate no contact so that you can heal from this. Sorry you have to go through this but she did you wrong and you need to try and put it behind you. It's going to be tough, but you'll get there.

[DN]

Either she was probably dating this guy and provoked the argument so she would have an excuse to end your relationship

 

or

 

she is lying about the new guy in an attempt to make you jealous.

 

Go no contact.

[HaloDestroyer]

Thanks for your advice everyone.

 

She just this SECOND called me, and was telling me about how great this new guy is...

 

I don't think she wants to hurt me. I think she just wants me to be jealous.

 

What should I do?

[PB]

It "sounds" like she needed an excuse to end your relationship and rather than do that directly she took advantage of the argument and latched on to it as an excuse.

 

She may not have cheated or she may have. It's hard for you to know short of a confession or some eyewitnesses.

 

The important thing is that it sounds like she was ready to move on (for whatever reason) prior to the argument.

 

The only other possibility is that she really doesn't have someone new but wants you to think that for some reason.

[confusedashell]

 

She just this SECOND called me, and was telling me about how great this new guy is...

 

What should I do?

 

Mate, either way, this doesnt sound like a mature or even nice person. Thats just plain hurtful behaviour.

[DN]

Tell her to have a great time with the new guy, that you are happy she has found someone so quickly and wish her the best of luck.

[Iceman26]

Tell her to bugger off and move on. Sorry to hear this happened to you.

 

Welcome to the wonderful world of teenage dating bro.

[HaloDestroyer]

I guess you're right.

 

I'm gonna go call her back, and tell her all those things.

 

Thanks @ all for the great advice!!

[PB]

Thanks for your advice everyone.

 

She just this SECOND called me, and was telling me about how great this new guy is...

 

I don't think she wants to hurt me. I think she just wants me to be jealous.

 

What should I do?

 

I would not talk with her about any new bf. If she wants to discuss any of the issues about why she left and moved on so quickly (so that you can learn whatever you can from it), then I'd be all ears. Otherwise, I would not allow her to gloat over having a new bf.

[lady00]

I'm gonna go call her back, and tell her all those things.

 

Dont. It will only make you feel worse. Don't contact her. Your silence will speak volumes. Don't waste any more time on her.

[HaloDestroyer]

Alright, good idea everyone!!

 

I'll initiate NC.

[DN]

Yes, go no contact, I thought you were still on the phone with her. But if she does call again and you answer inadvertently, then by saying what I suggested it takes all her power away from her.

[ztur]

i would call her and tell her that you are sorry for what you did and ask for her forgivness. this usually puts things back together. i know, being a guy, that this can be hard to do, but it is best that you just see it her way. or if you don't see it her way, pretend. it is bad to not be honest with eachother, but if it works, wait till your relationship gets built up, and then bring the matter up. you say, "what are you nuts". no im not. just give it a shot. also, the whole thing where she called you and told you about her new b/f is either a weak attempt to make you jealous, or she fond a desperate guy and is willing to dump him on his butt if you see things her way

[Burning_Down]

i would call her and tell her that you are sorry for what you did and ask for her forgivness.

 

Please, for the love of God, don't do this!

 

NC is definitely the way to go. Personally I wouldn't even answer the phone to her - yes she's trying to make you jealous, don't give her any power whatsoever.