I feel like an idiot, any advice?

[misery12]

I feel like an idiot right now..

My ex and I are going down to my cottage for a few days tonight with my family, so she just called me up, to talk.. and things are going ok.. but she isn't saying too much, I find there's a lot of silences.. so I say something, and I don't hear anything, and she just keeps acting like im saying something verrrrry wrong, and is like "what do I say to that"..

for example.. we were talking about skittles we ate last time we were at the cottage, and she suddenly goes "how long have they been down there" and since we were on the topic, I was like "my parents, or the skittles?".. and there's a long silence.. and I go my parents? and she awkwardly laughs and goes.. hah yeah..

 

I told her I was tired, and so was she.. from soccer.. and im just like "so what's everyone at your house doing? just hanging out?" and then another silence followed by a "yeahhh.."

 

she then said "I got to go, cya at 7".. and then I said bye.

 

I feel like I made a huge backspace in my relationship with her.. but I guess we are hanging out for the next 3 days.. do you think it matters?

 

I feel like a complete idiot.

[lady00]

sounds like she was just tired or nervous or both. she is probably as anxious about the whole trip as you are. just see how the three days unfold. good luck.

[btbt]

Don't sweat the small stuff. Maybe she was preoccupied with something, maybe she was upset, who knows. You're off to vacation, so be yourself and have fun. If your gut is telling you that something is wrong, talk to he about it, but don't overreact.

[DN]

I think you should definitely have that talk with her while up at the cottage. One way or the other you need some sort of resolution - either she is with you because she wants you as her boyfriend or she is an ex.

 

But there is the possibility, as Hope mentioned in a previous thread, that she is being friendly because she gets to go to your cottage, and hang around at your house with her and your friends. Be sure she is with you for the right reasons.

 

I am also uneasy about this business of telling your mutual friend that she is interested in getting back together with you. That seems a little manipulative. And, in politics, is called believable deniability. She can always say that her friend misunderstood.

[misery12]

I agree.. I would have liked it much more if she came to me herself.

And believe me, I would have had this talk with her much earlier if I had the chance, and I know that we will probably be sitting alone at some point on this trip, but I don't know how to start the "talk" up..

 

I want her to know that I want to be back with her, and that I love spending time with her, and if she's willing to give us another shot, i'm willing to take as long as she needs.

 

I don't know how to tell her this.. because we might not even be close to the topic of relationships, or "Us" or getting back together, or anything.. and if I just bring it up out of the blue, it will seem like it's the only thing im thinking of.. and that'll make me seem desperate/needy..

 

so how can I get to the point of talking to her about it??

[lady00]

I don't know how to tell her this.. because we might not even be close to the topic of relationships, or "Us" or getting back together, or anything.. and if I just bring it up out of the blue, it will seem like it's the only thing im thinking of.. and that'll make me seem desperate/needy..

 

so how can I get to the point of talking to her about it??

 

 

When you get her alone, just bite the bullet and do it. Tell her what you told us, that you want to get back together and really enjoy being with her. Forgive me, but I suspect the real reason you haven't talked about it yet is because you are scared/nervous of what her reaction will be. But you will never gain anything without taking a risk. Good luck!