Interracial Dating

[ShySoul]

It is much easier to stay away from an interracial relationship

 

Do you want to go through life always taking the easy way out? Or do you want to be the one who takes risks and goes after what he really wants? It's basic economics, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

[Sheyda]

Did no-one even read my post?

 

When I said "their descendants" I did not mean all black people, I was specifically referring to the children who bullied me and my brother and who still attack other children around our area who are not black.

 

When I was saying "their descendants are using racism to get away with bullying others" I was referring to them; the kids who bullied me and my brother and others who are not black. I was not referring to all black people.

 

Even though I have already explained what I meant, you seem to have assumed I hate all black people. Where did that come from when I have already elaborated on what I meant and it is not in any way racist?

 

But if you generalize and keep thinking that black guys in general are not behaving right, you may subconsciously do something which you wouldn;t normally do.

 

Please read what I post before saying things like this. I already explained that I don't think that all black people act in the same way as the bullies I have encountered. And how can I be subconsciously discriminating against black people when I have plenty of black friends?

 

Ok ... I agree i may have been a little harsh . But it just gets on my nerves when people try to generalize. Sheyda did generalize and say the following

 

It's quite sickening that black people have fought so hard against racism for equal rights and now their descendants are using racism to get away with bullying others.

 

"Their descendants" was specifically referring to the people who bullied me and my brother, not all black people. Perhaps I did not make it clear, but as Shysoul said; it is difficult to avoid missing a few small words when you are rushing to type something down.

 

I'm sorry but I have to agree with pchellak that the statement made by Sheyda was a generalization. Unless you have freaking met every black person on the planet you can't say that all use racism of the past as an excuse to by racists now. I'm sorry that you were treated like you were by those people but dislike them b/c they were aholes, not b/c they were black aholes.

 

Please read what I have actually said before you jump to conclusions. I already stated that I was specifically referring to the people who bullied me and my brother and said that I didn't discriminate against black people; I have plenty of friends who are black. I never said that I disliked them because they were black, either. Where did that come from? The only reason I ever dislike a person is because of their attitude and how they treat other people. And as I've already said, people's personalities can't be governed by the colour of their skin.

 

Anyway, I don't think that it is fair for either of you to judge and label me as a racist without reading my explanations in this thread; and to label me based upon one statement in which I missed out one specification through rushing, as well.

 

I don't think I will ever become racist; I have been through too much myself to ever hate anyone based upon their religion or skin colour. For years I have been called names, been chased by other kids, hit with things, spat on, had hair pulled out, been elbowed, kicked, had my belongings stolen, had stones thrown at me, had my house egged and people have even attempted to throw bricks through my window... all because I am multi-racial. And today, I still get the occasional racist comment, threat, abuse, etc. just walking down the street. Do you honestly think that someone who has been through all of this would subject another innocent person to it? I know exactly what it is like to be a victim of racism and I would never want to inflict that kind of experience on someone who hasn't done anything wrong.

 

Sorry about taking this off-topic again, but I just felt I had to defend myself against false accusations.

[pchellak]

It is much easier to stay away from an interracial relationship

 

Do you want to go through life always taking the easy way out? Or do you want to be the one who takes risks and goes after what he really wants? It's basic economics, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

 

Excellent point, Shysoul! ... But its hard to see what i am talking about unless you experience it. I was in an interracial relationship that did not survive (social pressure was part of the reason). That doesn't mean i will not be in another one ... But, I will probably think twice before i am in another interracial relationship.

[ShySoul]

Sheyda, no need to worry about defending yourself. Anyone who has taken the time to read your posts knows you aren't the kind of person to discriminate against any one. Unfortunately, most people tend to jump to conclusions and focus on one little line, without looking at what is really being said. And I'm sorry for all you've been through, sad how people treat each other.

 

pchellak, true I have been lucky to not have that kind of pressure on me. I've been fortunate in many regards. But I also know of others who haven't been so fortunate. And they have endured. Call me an idealist, a dreamer... but I really do think that if two people love then nothing will stop them, no matter the pressure.

[caasiopia68]

i agree with jrm... just today i felt somewhat attracted to a black girl.. but its not ateriotypical but there is absolutely nothing wrong with it...

[SkyFire]

Honestly, why the hell should race matter? Black women are still women, so are chinese, ect.

 

Its all about the character of the person, doesent matter what race they are.

[lonelynshy]

I'm neither black nor white. I find that both black girls & white girls avoid dating me. White girls don't like me AT ALL and never talk to me because of my slight build or darker skin while black girls although friendly to me, do not date me.

It seems that guys are more tolerant & open-minded. I've seen plenty of white guys with black girls, east indian girls, etc. But I've hardly seen the opposite! White girls usually want a big hulking bad boy and most Asian & east Indian men aren't alpha men. Maybe that's why. They also have a misconception that foreign men are abusive or treat their girlfriends badly which isn't necessarily true.

[pchellak]

Sheyda,

Again my intention was not to accuse you of anything. Since i cannot see or hear you speak on the forum, i jumped to conclusions based on your writing.

I do feel sorry for you and what you have gone through. I come from a place where there are very few people from other races.

Based on my experiences with ignorant country folks, i have seen some generalizations being made about other races.

For ex:

If there is a black guy driving a nice car, some people assume he is a drug dealer.

I dont like it and i am used to pointing out to my friends that generalizing an entire race is not fair.

[SkyFire]

most Asian & east Indian men aren't alpha men.

 

What makes a man? His ethnicity? I dont think so dude.

 

A man is defined by his character and his actions. No matter what race, we all still have the genes that make us males.

[asdf]

most Asian & east Indian men aren't alpha men.

 

What makes a man? His ethnicity? I dont think so dude.

 

A man is defined by his character and his actions. No matter what race, we all still have the genes that make us males.

 

true, but typical asian culture emphasizes on humility, which can be seen by others as unmasculine.

 

there's also the respect for elders/don't argue against them thing which is more prevalent amongst asian families.

 

i agree it's not the races that defines how a person behaves, but so far in human history, a person's ethnicity and their religious/cultural beliefs are strongly related. that may change in time if people migrate around the world a lot more, but international travel is still relatively new to the world and isn't practical for everybody to do.

[dizzy_bruce]

I'm neither black nor white. I find that both black girls & white girls avoid dating me. White girls don't like me AT ALL and never talk to me because of my slight build or darker skin while black girls although friendly to me, do not date me.

It seems that guys are more tolerant & open-minded. I've seen plenty of white guys with black girls, east indian girls, etc. But I've hardly seen the opposite! White girls usually want a big hulking bad boy and most Asian & east Indian men aren't alpha men. Maybe that's why. They also have a misconception that foreign men are abusive or treat their girlfriends badly which isn't necessarily true.

 

Your post got me fired up lol. I am half indian myself, and think alot of what you wrote is ruuuuuuuuuubbish! Your head is filled up with negative thoughts.

 

'White girls don't like me AT ALL and never talk to me because of my slight build or darker skin'. This is silly. I may never completely understand the way girls think, but I can tell you that most of them are not going dislike or ignore you just based on your colour or build.

 

I think it might be your attitude that needs changing not your appearance. I mean sure, you can go to the gym and work out like a mo-fo and try and be a 'big hulking bad boy' (lol), but if you're attitude doesn't change girls aren't suddenly gonna be swarming over you.

 

Walking around thinking 'White girls don't like me AT ALL and never talk to me because of my slight build or darker skin' will repel girls (of all races) for sure.

 

That second paragraph I also disagree with. I know plently of indian guys that go out with white girls, real hot girls too. Me for example lol. I'm not overly muscley either, but who cares that's not the only thing that attracts girls.

 

Try thinking about all the good things that us indian guys are blessed with!

What about humility (people with huge egos can get annoying), an interesting culture, respect for elders, the ability to make good curries, cool hairstyles and intelligence. Use your inherent indian guy charm!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I agree with Dizzy Bruce. I am not Indian, but when it comes to ALL races, if you can't look past the skin color and into the person's heart, then you're a waste of time.

 

However, with that said, people have preferences. But don't let what is not common scare you away from dating who you want. if you're Indian, and white girls or black girls are your preference, go ahead and get what you want. If you're worried about people staring, well... (tough love coming up)... deal with it. Unfortunately you may encounter stares and glances from time to time, but you'll be the better man/woman to ignore them and have a good time with your partner.

[Dre_7]

I agree with Dizzy Bruce. I am not Indian, but when it comes to ALL races, if you can't look past the skin color and into the person's heart, then you're a waste of time.

 

However, with that said, people have preferences. But don't let what is not common scare you away from dating who you want. if you're Indian, and white girls or black girls are your preference, go ahead and get what you want. If you're worried about people staring, well... (tough love coming up)... deal with it. Unfortunately you may encounter stares and glances from time to time, but you'll be the better man/woman to ignore them and have a good time with your partner.

 

Agreed, stares and glances are nothing, What's important is how you feel about who YOU decide to date. At the end of the day, it's just you and the person you've chosen. If people don't like you for it, or act strangely towards you and your mate, they have big issues.

[naughtycowgirl]

i think you should stick with your own race. If i were to date someone out of my race. my mother would beat me to death. I mean God didn't make us different colors and different accents for nothing.

[ShySoul]

I mean God didn't make us different colors and different accents for nothing.

 

Yes, and the reason was for us to learn and grow from our differences while finding and celebrating what we all have in common, coming together in unity.

[Dre_7]

i think you should stick with your own race. If i were to date someone out of my race. my mother would beat me to death. I mean God didn't make us different colors and different accents for nothing.

 

Eveybody is different, and it doesn't matter who you choose to date. People have different preferences. The only problem is if you choose to date a certain race because you think they are "better" than another. And as for God making us different colours and such, all I'm going to say on that is... variety is the spice of life.

[Sheyda]

I agree with Shy and Dre; the reason there are different races and languages isn't to separate us, it's to bring variety and teach us that there is more to a person than the colour of their skin and which tongue they speak in.

 

I just thought I would add that it has been scientifically proven that multiracial people are a lot healthier than people who are of one race only. e.g. someone who is part African, Pakistani, Japanese, Portuguese and Italian will be a lot healthier than someone who is pure Welsh. It shows through in their appearance, as well; your health is reflected by how symmetrical you are and multiracial people are more symmetrical than those of one race. This is why a lot of people are attracted to someone who is a different race to them; they will produce even healthier offspring the more they mix.

[pchellak]

i think you should stick with your own race. If i were to date someone out of my race. my mother would beat me to death. I mean God didn't make us different colors and different accents for nothing.

 

I know quite a few people believe that dating should be purely within their own race. Some even manage to find some abstract biblical reference to support that.

The races as we know them have not always been this way since the beginning of time and will not be like that forever either. I think its too bad some people dont look at the big picture and are missing excellent opportunities by trying to only date within their own race.

[asdf]

i think you should stick with your own race. If i were to date someone out of my race. my mother would beat me to death. I mean God didn't make us different colors and different accents for nothing.

 

The whole God argument is really stupid. God wouldn't make interacial dating occur anywhere if he didn't want it to happen. God wouldn't let rape happen if he didn't want it to happen.

 

Your mother has issues. I hope it won't have a permanent effect on you.

[Dre_7]

Guys keep in mind boy-horsecrazy's only 14. She has a lot of time to form her own views and opinions. She's going to have experiences which call her mom's philosophy into question, whether or not she holds onto it, is ultimately up to her.

[wlfpack81]

Well normally by the time you reach 14 you're pretty much going to be set in your ways whether you develop those views on your own or was brainwashed by some outside source. So I doubt she'll change her views much now.

[ShySoul]

Rarely does someone get stuck in there ways at 14. That's about the time most people are starting to question everything.

 

boy-horsecrazy: Just ask yourself if this is what you believe or what you were told to believe. I have to wonder about a mother who you say would beat you if you were to date outside of your race. Does that sound like a reason to hurt you?

[asdf]

Guys keep in mind boy-horsecrazy's only 14. She has a lot of time to form her own views and opinions. She's going to have experiences which call her mom's philosophy into question, whether or not she holds onto it, is ultimately up to her.

 

In most cases, children tend to pick their same sex parent as a model.

 

She'll question those views sooner if people try to correct/incorrect her sooner.

[Shinobie]

i think you should stick with your own race. If i were to date someone out of my race. my mother would beat me to death. I mean God didn't make us different colors and different accents for nothing.

 

Ya iono that sounds pretty rascist and u will question ur choices later on in life.I believe u can find love in any race we are all the same.Cept for appearance and maybe accents and stuff.But i believe we are all the same on the inside.I dont care if i fall in love with a black women id love her just like any girlfriend if id ever have,even if i fell in love with a chinese girl she would still be the same in my eyes.So basically too me love is not formed by how the person looks or their race its formed by how beautiful they are on the inside.

[mshollywod]

As an African-American woman I can honestly say that there are mean African-Americans as well as Caucasian. Just because you were wronged by one group of people don't make them all bad.

 

I've been treated badly by both if I were to feel that way..then I would basically hate people in general.

 

In response to whom I believe is the orginal poster..I find it true that other nationalities do not approach African-American women, unfortunately from my experience unless they're fair-skinned or biracial.

 

I can honestly say that for the most part I'm only approached by African-American men and I'm very friendly (even if we have the rep of being unapproachable)...so I have to assume that it's because they're simply not attracted.

 

Although my heart (my male friend who I talk about all over this post) is Caucasian he's the only non African American male who has ever remotely seemed interested.

 

God made us different for variety honey not because he felt we should only date our own. By stating that you are basically saying that God is racists and that would be blasphemist.