reflectionlessmirror Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 I feel like I am stuck. My ex and i didnt talk for almost two weeks, then when he called and i answered it we started talking again. I do still have feelings for him but i feel like i shouldnt talk to him and here is why: He calls me frequently from work (3rd shift) to leave me messages when i am asleep, however when it is the weekend i get ignored. I feel that he only calls me when he is bored. Then the other night i was driving through town at 2am (i had went out with friends to watch the Pistons loose the game ) and he passed me going home, called me and invited me over. I went over figuring he was drunk and would try to put the moves on me (i was right). i told him i felt he had jsut called me to try to "get some" and he said "no, i still love you and i consider you my Jilly". So my question is this "What the H### is he thinking? he also seemed jelous cause i went to a get together that i was invited to by a guy from my past, just a friend. Why? Being that last night was friday night he didnt call me at all cause he was probably drinking with his dumb friends. I dont like this at all. i still want him in my life but it would be nice if we could go out and do things as a couple if he still considers me somthing to him. I am confuzed and even alittle angry. Any suggestions? Link to comment
darkblue Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 He doesn't sound like the caring or considerate type.. but talking would help.. one way or another. It'll either show that he cares or that he doesn't Talk it through with him is my advice Link to comment
reflectionlessmirror Posted June 25, 2005 Author Share Posted June 25, 2005 Yes, talking. He just seems to be getting unexplainably dumber though. (or am i getting smarter? hahahaha) Hopefully i can keep a converstation going with him. Thank you for your thoughts. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 OK well first I see that he is your ex, and so has not committed to working anything out with you as of yet? Second, if he did want to work things out with you he should be putting in alot more effort than calling in the middle of the night when bored, and making a booty call with no talk of commitment or reconciliation, which is sounds like you want. Frankly, this guy sounds like a creep, what do you still see in him? And lastly, if you don't like the way he's treating you, (and who would?) you have the option to walk away, not return his phone calls, not go over to his house to prove he's a dog, and move on with your own life. What are you waiting for? Link to comment
reflectionlessmirror Posted June 25, 2005 Author Share Posted June 25, 2005 What am i waiting for? I am waiting for him to grow up and quit being a drunk jerk. I doubt that will happen though. I miss the good times we had when we were first together. As for the ex term, i am using that term as a way to get over him. I have boxed up allthings from him and told everyonme at work we are over so it feels like we are over in my mind. Just when I think we are over it is the "i still love you" calls and messages. That is why my post is titled "Relationship purgatory". I am stuck in a weird waiting place where nothing is happening. Part of me doenst want him back though, i feel better without him. It seems like when i talk more frequently to him that my life seems worse. You are onto something with the walking away suggestion. I have the advice, now i need to USE IT! Plus, it isnt important, but he put in for a voluntary layoff for the month of july because production is slow. I jsut cant figure out why anyone would volunteer to be layed off? All he will be doing is drinking and i know he will call me a bunch. I am on overtime myself (iam motivated, hes lazy) so i will be getting alot of dumb drunk messages, i already know especially sinc ehe willhave nothing to do. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 What am i waiting for? I am waiting for him to grow up and quit being a drunk jerk. You will be waiting a long time. Why waste your life waiting on a guy who is as self destructive as he is, who also dumped you? Aren't you worth more than that? Do you not deserve more than that? Read this last line I quoted. Does that sound like what a good and healthy relationship is all about? I am stuck in a weird waiting place where nothing is happening. Part of me doenst want him back though, i feel better without him. This is your choice. You are the one with the power to say enough is enough and walk away from this. Honey, these guys never change. What you have with a guy like this is more of a parent child relationship. You will never be able to help him, or change him. It is a futile battle, and not worth the time and agony. Walk away now, while the break is clean and you can. Don't put yourself through this a moment longer. You are worth so much more than that. Link to comment
reflectionlessmirror Posted June 25, 2005 Author Share Posted June 25, 2005 That is great advice, and i know it is true. The FOLLOWING it is the hard part. I am hoping that with all my overtime it will be easy for me to ignore him. When he realizes that taking an entire month off is really boring and not such a good idea he will be ringing my phone off the hook though i am sure. I will just remember what i told you, the 2 weeks we didnt talk felt strangley good. i was sad but also felt somewhat relieved (feeling like a doormat isnt very fun). Thank you for your advice. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 That is great advice, and i know it is true. The FOLLOWING it is the hard part. Don't I know it. The good news, is you are already broken up, so the hard part is done. It's just staying away from him that you need to focus on. I will just remember what i told you, the 2 weeks we didnt talk felt strangley good. Try to focus on that, it makes it easier. Good Luck! Link to comment
regret1 Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Hi, After reading your problem, I agree with Hope75. Initiate NC right away, please be strong and do not pick up his phone. When you see him, act like you have moved on, and having a good life. You do not need to be his "booty call." Give the power to your self. Link to comment
gradle Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 i agree with hope too, i mean if you really feel better by not talking to him, and he's treating you poorly, and you feel somewhat happier when you don't call him...maybe it's time you just let him go... i mean, nc might work for you in 2 ways (as i think is usually the case, although i realize it is very difficult to follow) it might make him realize he's acting like a fool... or it might make you strong enough to finally walk away... i hope all is well ... by the way GO BLUE!!!!!!!! Link to comment
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