rejection, then 4 months later told me she broke up with bf

[dancingmsg]

just hope she is not reading on this site. ok, a little background information.

 

About 4 months ago, I tried to ask out this girl at my work. We work in the same department but different floors and rarely see each other during work.

 

It all started with her telling me that she plays video game all day. so i decided to take the action asking her out. I asked if she wanted to have dinner with me and she said she promised she will go home to be with family. I did not realize that was a polite rejection (stupid) so I kept asking if she wants to see a movie. I actually sent her a list of movies asking her to pick one. Then it turned blue. She wrote me back (i used email instead of going to her office because I did not want to get other oeple's attention at work) saying "I am sorry but my bf will be angry I go out with a man alone instead of a group". So I saw the red light and said "it's cool just trying to be friends" etc to avoid any awkwardness at work. We did not get chance to talk to each other alone since then except a few emails that were sent to a group of people.

 

Then a few days ago, I got a question at work and needed to ask her. So I sent her email and sort of mentioning the video game thing with no intention to start any unprofessional conversation. (I swear. God knows why I mentioned the video game thing) But she replied with "Yes, I am still playing lots of games even more since I broke up with my boyfriend", which totally confused me. I still can not figure out why in the hell did she tell me that. I am already over her !

 

But anyway, I replied email suggesting that she might want to go out more instead of playing game all the time and if she'd like, just let me

know and I would love to join her, in a group. No response since!

 

I am really confused what is going on with this girl. Does she suggest something to me? Or just I am being stupid and what she said about her and her bf was just a plain statement. Does nice has nothing to do here with the statement? I mean she is a very nice girl and probably she just told me the fact without any intention.

 

My friend told me to forget her because there is too much stakes (you know you don't want to get that kind harassment at work). Unless she comes to me. But I think I really liked this girl and seriously wanted to know her. I guess my question is if I took my friend's suggestion but she is also too shy to come to me?

 

As I said, I have no clue what I should do in such situation. What do you guys think about it?

[in_the_mirror]

well how long exactly has it been since you sent the e-mail, maybe she just hasn't gotten it yet or hasn't had time, you know playing video games. i wouldn't worry too much about it, seriously if things happen let her make the move now. and depending on how long she had been with her b/f she may be thinking that going out with someone else right away might be a bad idea. either way it goes down, just know that you tried and if nothing happens its ok there are a lot of other girls out there.

[DN]

Take your friends suggestion - you could get into trouble if she is not shy and is just not interested.

[smallworld]

"Yes, I am still playing lots of games even more since I broke up with my boyfriend"

 

Ugh! She sounds like a major game player and I'm not talking video games. I agree. Let her approach you from now on.

 

Btw, I don't think you should feel bad. If I were a guy, I'd have found her mixed signals confusing too. You played your last move just right - open, friendly, and classy. How she takes that is no reflection upon you!

[heloladies21]

She's not interested. Drop her and move on.

[dancingmsg]

wow, a unanimous vote out here.

 

I will take your advices and quit, never played games before and don't want to either

[dancingmsg]

She's not interested. Drop her and move on.

 

heloladies21, what made you reach such a conclusion that she is not interested? I am just curious and want to learn how you read from girl's lines. Honestly, I was confused because I thought she was giving me some signals (at least there is such possibility) Otherwise there is no reason for her to tell me that she broke up with her b/f. After all, we are not good friends, not even friends I would have say. We hardly talked with each at all.

[heloladies21]

It was over when you tried to get her to come out and she rejected you. She did this twice. Most likely, she only let you know about ex-bf just to get you interested again so it would boost her ego. I know, I don't understand or like it either, but what can you do.

 

Try a different approach with hitting on chicks. Give it one good try, but if it doesn't work back way the hell off and never re-initiate. You let her know you're interested so if she changes her mind, it's her job to let you know and get you out. In the mean time, get out there and hit on more women! And hit on lots of 'em!

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

lol thats funny... no no dont give up man

 

i tottaly understand how u feel... i have the same problem.. here is what u have to do..

 

first u have to know that u r the best... if she dont want u , she is the one who will lose not u... thats number one so that u can feel good...

 

second thing.... is never never never give up... and when i say this u dont go everyday telling her i like u i like u lol... there is a statement i like.. when u just find that dreams are far away to reach..do not adjust ur goals adjust ur action steps... try to get to know her better.. talk to her friendly and mostly try to know her better..... anyways.. contact me on pm if u want more help... i cant talk more here... good luck man

[randy]

It was over when you tried to get her to come out and she rejected you. She did this twice. Most likely, she only let you know about ex-bf just to get you interested again so it would boost her ego. I know, I don't understand or like it either, but what can you do.

 

Try a different approach with hitting on chicks. Give it one good try, but if it doesn't work back way the hell off and never re-initiate. You let her know you're interested so if she changes her mind, it's her job to let you know and get you out. In the mean time, get out there and hit on more women! And hit on lots of 'em!

 

I can see what you're saying MAN ! It ' s very possible that the above is TRUE . . . but she did have a BF at that times he tried asking her out . I don't think we can tell right of that she ' s not interested .

 

If you're still interested try this . Walk up to her and say " are you the type of girl that plays video games . . . ALLLLLLLL DAY LONG , or can you spare some time and have a few drinks with me ? " ( in a funny way of course ) . If she says no then just forget it and move on !

 

AND . . . WOW . . .a girl that LOVES video games ! That's something nice to have ! Playing some of those 2 player games with her can be a really NICE way to CONNECT ! ( well if your're into video games )

[dancingmsg]

lol, playing video games with a girl on 2 players games, maybe i need to learn how to play video games first, never played ;-)

 

man, i would love to ask her out again and find out what she respond, just like you said. I am that kind of guy who likes yes/no answer. But I still don't know how....As I said I can not really walk up to her office, which is more like a shared public space where everybody can see you go in and out and most of time hear what you are talking about. I guess not many people here would find it so much fun to be the topic of office gossip....

 

So i am in this big mess thinking of if I should get guts and ask her out again. If i did decide to try one more time, should I use email. Oh, so many things. My small brain can not think about at once. That is how I got frustrated and thought kind of giving up. God, this man and woman thing is toooooo complicated. Now maybe leaning to play video game is not a bad idea....lol

[randy]

If i did decide to try one more time, should I use email. Oh, so many things. My small brain can not think about at once. That is how I got frustrated and thought kind of giving up. God, this man and woman thing is toooooo complicated. Now maybe leaning to play video game is not a bad idea....lol

 

 

IMHO it' s better to ask in person . But if you don' t have the courage to ask her out in person then the e - mail thing could work as well . It' s just NOT AS effective !

 

Let us know how it turns out !

[dancingmsg]

randy, i think right. people sadid the same thing to me. But i think that I better stay cool for couple of days and let the water settle down. Then if i am still interested, i will try to start a conversation with her again and hopefully can figure out with more information whether or not she was giving me so-called "signal".

[dancingmsg]

Hi everyone, got some updates about me and this girl i like.

 

I started a coversation today and sort of telling her that i hope everything is going well for her. Then she replied and invited me to see the Batman!

 

So I guess this is a good sign;-) I told her that I'll get the tickets. What else I need to do? Take her to dinner before the movie? I was not sure. I am thinking not to get this thing go too fast too soon.

 

Any input, you smart guys?

[DN]

Dinner is good - gives you a chance to talk.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

yeah it seems good.. talk to her nicely but dont rush things.. take it easy u still have time.. i think so.. try to get to know her better... show her that u r a good guy...