Younger man pursuing me

[Superstickyone]

Absolutely, I see how it is with younger men.  The term "hangout" says it all.  I'm in no way starved for sex.  I prefer to date men my own age as some younger men are immature. More important things in life than sex.

The mover emailed me twice about hanging out. I did not respond.  

I'm tempted to put a less than favorable review on his website. However with this guy's temper, he might come back to my place and do something to my car!  

 

 

 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

Absolutely, I see how it is with younger men.  The term "hangout" says it all.  I'm in no way starved for sex.  I prefer to date men my own age as some younger men are immature. More important things in life than sex.

The mover emailed me twice about hanging out. I did not respond.  

I'm tempted to put a less than favorable review on his website. However with this guy's temper, he might come back to my place and do something to my car!  

 

 

 

Call whoever licenses movers -he is licensed, right? Why didn't you block him?

[jul-els]

His intentions are irrelevant. Block and delete. Move on. 

[yogacat]

He just sounds like a 20-something dou*** with no respect for boundaries. I wouldn't necessarily say he will harm your vehicle.

Honestly, I would just stay away from this guy completely. Don't reply to his emails or texts, and definitely don't put a negative review on his website (that's just giving him more attention and potentially setting yourself up for retaliation). Just take it as a lesson learned and be cautious in the future about getting into strangers personal space. Stay safe!

If you feel the need to do something, you can report his behavior to the charity. It's important for them to know about his conduct, and it could potentially protect other people as well. But ultimately, the best course of action is to just cut off all contact and move on.

[Superstickyone]

I'm putting the whole thing behind me.  Thanks for everyone's candid opinions!

[AndyPandy]

On 5/17/2024 at 6:36 AM, Superstickyone said:

I'm curious- why would a guy that young want to date a woman 20 years his senior?

There have been situations where I've been attracted to and dated women who are considerably older than me because I enjoyed their company and liked them for who they are in terms of personality, intellect, interests/hobbies and also their looks. It happened over the weekend when I got talking at random to a lady about satire, politics, volunteering and current affairs.

However, as others have already determined, this man is a creepy slimeball who has no interest in dating or anything romantic and is just looking for his latest victim/conquest. Referring to hanging out with you (as he describes it) in the context of you being an "older woman" indicates that he sees you as a fetishised sex object and not as a human being. Worryingly, that's probably the tip of the iceberg regarding his sleaziness and unprofessionalism.

The fact that he continued to touch your shoulder after you made it clear that you do not want physical contact from a complete stranger is a huge red flag and indicative that if a woman says "no" or "stop" he'll simply ignore them and do as he pleases. I agree with the other posters that he needs to be blacklisted/reported somehow because he probably does this as a routine and sexual harassment is unacceptable.

[yogacat]

8 hours ago, AndyPandy said:

There have been situations where I've been attracted to and dated women who are considerably older than me because I enjoyed their company and liked them for who they are in terms of personality, intellect, interests/hobbies and also their looks. It happened over the weekend when I got talking at random to a lady about satire, politics, volunteering and current affairs.

However, as others have already determined, this man is a creepy slimeball who has no interest in dating or anything romantic and is just looking for his latest victim/conquest. Referring to hanging out with you (as he describes it) in the context of you being an "older woman" indicates that he sees you as a fetishised sex object and not as a human being. Worryingly, that's probably the tip of the iceberg regarding his sleaziness and unprofessionalism.

The fact that he continued to touch your shoulder after you made it clear that you do not want physical contact from a complete stranger is a huge red flag and indicative that if a woman says "no" or "stop" he'll simply ignore them and do as he pleases. I agree with the other posters that he needs to be blacklisted/reported somehow because he probably does this as a routine and sexual harassment is unacceptable.

Agree.

There is a way to show a woman that you're attracted to her without being sleezy about it. Like your age is some kind of fetish or something.

I had a 20 year old approach me and all he said was "I find you really attractive, what are your interests and do you have an age limit in terms of dating?" It was polite and respectful and then we had a conversation like two adults. 

This is the proper way to approach someone older! Not "Oh your shoulders look sore," or "Let me rub your shoulders," that's sick.

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, yogacat said:

There is a way to show a woman that you're attracted to her without being sleezy about it. Like your age is some kind of fetish or something.

I don't think he was trying to show her he was attracted to her.  He didn't care what sort of impression he made in that  way. He was trying to get laid by his customer.  This has nothing to do with one person interacting with another person in any date like or potential date like context.  

[AndyPandy]

3 hours ago, yogacat said:

Agree.

There is a way to show a woman that you're attracted to her without being sleezy about it. Like your age is some kind of fetish or something.

Or a trophy to be celebrated with their peers. Distasteful. 🤮

4 hours ago, yogacat said:

I had a 20 year old approach me and all he said was "I find you really attractive, what are your interests and do you have an age limit in terms of dating?" It was polite and respectful and then we had a conversation like two adults.

That sounds similar to my own m.o. - treat people with the respect and decency that I'd expect to be afforded to myself. 

4 hours ago, yogacat said:

This is the proper way to approach someone older!

Absolutely - or anyone for that matter.

4 hours ago, yogacat said:

 Not "Oh your shoulders look sore," or "Let me rub your shoulders," that's sick.

Or as I witnessed at a party where I was sat beside a woman on a sofa and someone who was interested in her wedged himself into a tight space alongside her and began administering an unsolicited leg-rub. 😒

[rainbowsandroses]

On 5/16/2024 at 10:36 PM, Superstickyone said:

However when I was writing a cheque in his truck, he said "oh your shoulders look sore". 

I am surprised I am the only one alarmed by this^^.  That you willingly got into some random delivery dude's truck to write a check?  As mentioned previously, you were very lucky he didn't drive off to some remote area and do god only knows what.  Especially since he works on his own and doesn't report to anyone. 

Women are advised to AVOID getting into a stranger's vehicle, and here you were willingly getting into random's dude's truck.  Honestly, I shudder at what could have happened.

I don't mean to be harsh and not sure if you are still reading, but you're 50 years old, you really should know better, don't you think?   

Anyway, agree that he was NOT trying to "date" you obviously.  He's a sleaze who took advantage of an opportunity to possibly get laid (or worse).

Had you NOT willingly entered his truck to write your check, NONE of this would have happened.  I am not "victim shaming," I am suggesting you exercise safety and caution. 

Next time, I would suggest writing your check in your home while random delivery dude waits in his truck.  

[yogacat]

3 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I don't think he was trying to show her he was attracted to her.  He didn't care what sort of impression he made in that  way. He was trying to get laid by his customer.  This has nothing to do with one person interacting with another person in any date like or potential date like context.  

I was responding to another member's post: There have been situations where I've been attracted to and dated women who are considerably older than me because I enjoyed their company and liked them for who they are in terms of personality, intellect, interests/hobbies and also their looks. 

Not in the context of this thread.

I am pretty sure I already said earlier that he has no respect for boundaries. In a professional setting or otherwise.

[AndyPandy]

8 hours ago, yogacat said:

I am pretty sure I already said earlier that he has no respect for boundaries. In a professional setting or otherwise.

Yes, you did...

On 5/19/2024 at 2:25 AM, yogacat said:

He just sounds like a 20-something dou*** with no respect for boundaries.

No respect whatsoever.

[smackie9]

And this is what women have to put up with almost everyday. Some guy being a total creep, leering, pushing boundaries, touching, groping, etc. We have to always just be aware...and guys just don't get that. They label us as "feminists" ruining their dating lives/chances to get a date, when we are just protecting ourselves. They need to blame the jerks that treat women disrespectfully. 

[rainbowsandroses]

39 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

We have to always just be aware...

Exactly!   And behave prudently and cautiously.

Which means NOT getting into some random delivery dude's truck for ANY reason. To write a check or any other reason. Write the check at home while dude waits in his truck.

This should be standard practice and common sense. 

Yes he was a BIG jerk there is no refuting that!  

But to the ladies reading, members or non-members, do NOT enter a strange man's vehicle, ever!   

Be aware, be smart and behave prudentjy and cautiously exercising self-care.

[AndyPandy]

30 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

And this is what women have to put up with almost everyday. Some guy being a total creep, leering, pushing boundaries, touching, groping, etc. We have to always just be aware...and guys just don't get that.

Well, I get it. Yes, I'm male but I can assure you that I'm aware of what women have to contend with. I've witnessed endless episodes and listened to countless anecdotes involving family members, friends and even random women and girls.

On one occasion, in the middle of the night, I came across a woman who'd discharged herself from hospital after being treated for injuries from some incident and was stumbling about on the street in just a hospital gown. She wanted to get home but didn't have any money, nor bank cards and most of the public transport routes that she could've used had closed down several hours earlier.

I was acutely sensitive to just how vulnerable she was in that state and rang one of her friends who arranged for a taxi to collect her. I was relieved that she was out of danger and dreaded to think what could've happened if a predator had come her way instead of me.

[smackie9]

Dumping patients out into the street is a common practice...not just women but the elderly too. 

You may have witnessed, etc, but there are day to day subtleties us women experience in a safe environments like a grocery store, or our own workplace or a restaurant.

True story: I was waiting for a table and a group came in and waited around us. One of them church goers literally came up behind me a rubbed himself into me...my husband was standing right there! He didn't see it, but I dodged out of the way and moved to the other side. I was in shock, I didn't know what to do, I just got myself out of that situation. TBH I didn't want to ruin 20 other peoples Sunday brunch by making a scene. And who would believe me besides my husband? no one. 

[Wonderstruck]

On 5/21/2024 at 10:21 AM, smackie9 said:

And this is what women have to put up with almost everyday. Some guy being a total creep, leering, pushing boundaries, touching, groping, etc. We have to always just be aware...and guys just don't get that. They label us as "feminists" ruining their dating lives/chances to get a date, when we are just protecting ourselves. They need to blame the jerks that treat women disrespectfully. 

Thank you so much for this comment.

There are even some very pathetic women who will do this, to try to show that they're "cool girls who are not like the other girls".

@Superstickyone, you did NOTHING wrong, and please don't listen to any victim-blaming comments.