What to do with a guy 17 years older?

[Demofa]

Hello, first and foremost please be kind because I'm new to all of this. So I'm 19, almost 20, and I'm very introverted and have very few friends, I have never been in a relationship before. About a year ago this new guy started teaching gymnastics at the gym I go to and I decided to give it a go; because of different reasons I started talking more privately with him about 2 months ago and he has told me personal stuff like the fact that he has two kids and isn't in a relationship with the mother. I think it's pretty obvious where this is all going so I'll go straight to the point; today he tried to kiss me many times and I only let him because I was curious, to be honest I liked it but I don't think I really like him and at this point I'm only being stupid because I believe I'm not really emotionally mature enough but I would like to keep on doing this for a little bit more of time. Just to be clear, I'm legally an adult here where I live so.. is it really okay to let this keep on going for a while or should I just stop it now?? I obviously don't want a relationship with a guy that has 2 kids and is much older than me, I guess my only temptation for doing this again is that I've never been with anyone before. I'm asking this because like I mentioned before, I don't believe I'm emotionally mature enough and I don't want to make a stupid choice.

[Kwothe28]

15 minutes ago, Demofa said:

I don't believe I'm emotionally mature enough and I don't want to make a stupid choice.

Letting some older geezer kiss you is exactly that choice. Please dont let that predator near you in the future.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Demofa said:

 my only temptation for doing this again is that I've never been with anyone before. I'm asking this because like I mentioned before, I don't believe I'm emotionally mature enough and I don't want to make a stupid choice.

It's understandable you're curious about dating at your age. However this man is not a good choice as far as gaining dating relationships. 

He is older but moreso a bit creepy. Please try to socialize with people your own age and you can start dating men who have something in common with you.  You're legally an adult and old enough to date so you're emotionally mature enough for that and you don't need this guy to show you the way. 

[Batya33]

No matter what his age you kissed him -it didn't click for you -so repeating it likely won't be different especially since there is that age gap and you're not into him in general romantically. Also you cannot be sure he is unattached - since he's going after someone so much younger and in a work environment I'd be concerned he is potentially more of a predator than well meaning.  

[catfeeder]

He's using his teaching position at a gym to make out with you and however many women. Is this really how you want your first experience a man to be?

I'd report him. I'd also watch my back, he sounds like a creeper who could harm you.

[TeeDee]

He targeted you because he senses how naive you are.  This man does not like you or respect you.  He's using you & you have to put a stop to it. 

Do not let your 1st time be with this guy.  You will regret it.  Imagine telling your own future daughter some day about how you lost your virginity . . . no love, creepy guy . . . just yuck.  

Stay away.  Make friends your own age.  Learn to recognize perverts when you encounter them.  

[ShySoul]

13 hours ago, Demofa said:

I guess my only temptation for doing this again is that I've never been with anyone before.

That's not a good reason to have a relationship of any kind. You should want, and deserve, to be with someone who you share a special connection with. It should be with someone where there is a mutal love and respect, someone who you care about and want to have these experiences with. You admit to not being emotionally ready for something, so why would you put yourself in that position? It's not fair for you as you'd be giving these precious firsts to someone you don't really have feelings for. And it's not fair to him as he might become attached to someone who has no interest in a future together.

It's natural to want to continue. At your age I was just like you - introverted with few friends and zero relationship experience. For that matter, zero hope of anything happening. I wished everyday to find someone, to be able to know what it all felt like. But I knew the moment had to be right and it had to be with the right person. To give into something just for the sake of finally having the experience, would have left me feeling icky with myself. I don't think I coud have fully enjoyed it. But when the right person did come around, it was perfect and made even better because I had waited and saved it all for them.

Listen to what your heart is saying you should do. If you have doubts, it's probably not the right thing to pursue. When it's right, you just know it's right.

 

[ShySoul]

How well have you gotten to know him? Why did you start talking to him outside of class? 

Him kissing you may have been inapproriate given that he's your instructor, but that doesn't necessarily make him a creep. You are both adults so this is legal and entirely up to the two of you. You responded to his attempts, for whatever reason, so it's not like he was forcing you into it. You've known him for a year, so unless he was playing a really long game, it probably wasn't his plan all along to seduce you or anything,

We'd need more information before we can faily perscribe a motive to him. For all we know you just got along well and he felt you were someone he could talk to. Maybe feelings developed naturally and he really does care about you. 

The important thing, for this or any other situation, is to figure out what you want. Only pursue something if it's what you truly want and believe will make you happy.