He wants to see me a lot more often than I can do.

[USDC]

I've been dating someone for about 2 months, we both work full time and live about 1 hour away from each other.  I'm happy to see him on weekends and some weekday nights, for example, on Valentines day. We talk by phone a couple of times a week. 

He wants to see me more often and is trying to sell his condo and move closer to me. In the mean time, he wants to come to my place after work and wait for me to finish work. That's a bit too much for me based on the fact that we know each other only for 2 months. He talks a lot and I need a quiet time by myself after work. 

Any suggestion on how to handle this situation?

[catfeeder]

I would be nervous about the lousy judgment in making a move to be near someone so quickly, and I’d find a kind way of saying so. I’d also be a firm No on access to my place. The guy doesn’t sound mentally stable, and that would put me off.

[smackie9]

This is troublesome. He's being obsessive...obsessiveness means not respecting boundaries, controlling behaviour and jealousy. Red flags girl red flags.

[Andrina]

I'd tell him exactly what you're saying here. Something like, "I'm not comfortable with you making a major move to live closer to me since we just started dating. Let's wait and consider this after we've been together at least a year (or if you don't want to place a specific timeline on this, just say: longer).

You can also tell him that for the time being, getting together on an occasional weeknight is working for you and you're not ready for anything more.

Take note of his responses to you communicating this. If he tries to argue the point, trying to manipulate you with guilt, or anger, or pouting, etc., break it off. Be glad he showed you who he was before you invested more than 60 days.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, USDC said:

He wants to see me more often and is trying to sell his condo and move closer to me. In the mean time, he wants to come to my place after work and wait for me to finish work. That's a bit too much for me based on the fact that we know each other only for 2 months.

Please trust your instincts. Way too much too soon for 8 weeks dating. 

Please maintain your appropriate pace. It's a bit creepy he's talking about moving and hanging out at your place after work.

Smothering is a red flag, so pay attention to your feelings. 

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, USDC said:

That's a bit too much for me based on the fact that we know each other only for 2 months.

I absolutely agree. 

I would be very uncomfortable with how quickly he's trying to progress things and how much he wants to be in my space already. 

What did you say when he put forward these plans he has in mind? 

[kim42]

Too much too soon, I'd be uncomfortable. Does he maybe have amy financial issues? That could perhaps explain why he wants to move in with you.

[USDC]

He is stable financially, has a good stable job. As a matter of fact, he is trying to buy a house for us. He is nice to me, sending flowers, talking me to nice shows etc. it’s just overwhelming.  He sent me today a link to a beautiful venue he is thinking for our wedding.

[Capricorn3]

Oh boy, just reading this gives me the creeps - way too may red flags and way too much too soon.  OP, you say it's all overwhelming, and rightly so.  Please trust your gut instinct.

How to handle it?  Be upfront and simply tell him it's not working for you. You need to end this and take heed of all the warning signs you have in front of you.  Don't get fooled by flowers and nice places.  He's choosing places for your wedding venue??  Girl, you need a reality check.  RUN.  The sooner the better.

I agree with every single post above.

[Wiseman2]

20 minutes ago, USDC said:

  He sent me today a link to a beautiful venue he is thinking for our wedding.

Please Google "love bombing" . He's using a lot of future talk and sending you links to wedding venues seems super creepy.  Please pace yourself. 

[catfeeder]

2 hours ago, USDC said:

He is stable financially, has a good stable job. As a matter of fact, he is trying to buy a house for us. He is nice to me, sending flowers, talking me to nice shows etc. it’s just overwhelming.  He sent me today a link to a beautiful venue he is thinking for our wedding.

And this is okay with you?

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, USDC said:

He is stable financially, has a good stable job. As a matter of fact, he is trying to buy a house for us. He is nice to me, sending flowers, talking me to nice shows etc. it’s just overwhelming.  He sent me today a link to a beautiful venue he is thinking for our wedding.

No.  He doesn't know you.  He's just looking for someone to fill the role of future wife and it's creepy.  That is why you're overwhelmed.  He simply wants an insta relationship.

Be stable financially on your own -are you? Have a good stable job -do you? Can you afford half of a mortgage on a house and half of living expenses?  Certainly there are couples where one person is the main financial provider but the other person should be financially stable and able to handle expenses on his/her own just in case -in case of divorce, illness, whatever.  Why in the world are you ok with his behavior this fast? 

[USDC]

3 hours ago, Batya33 said:

No.  He doesn't know you.  He's just looking for someone to fill the role of future wife and it's creepy.  That is why you're overwhelmed.  He simply wants an insta relationship.

Be stable financially on your own -are you? Have a good stable job -do you? Can you afford half of a mortgage on a house and half of living expenses?  Certainly there are couples where one person is the main financial provider but the other person should be financially stable and able to handle expenses on his/her own just in case -in case of divorce, illness, whatever.  Why in the world are you ok with his behavior this fast? 

I have a good job and financially stable. Money is not an issue for us. I am not OK with moving so fast, and that's why I am here.

 

[MissCanuck]

4 hours ago, USDC said:

I am not OK with moving so fast,

And have you told him this? 

10 hours ago, USDC said:

He sent me today a link to a beautiful venue he is thinking for our wedding.

This is mental and shoud be setting off warning bells for you.  How did you respond to this? 

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, USDC said:

I have a good job and financially stable. Money is not an issue for us. I am not OK with moving so fast, and that's why I am here.

 

So why are you harping on the $$ he is spending on you? Don't you think he's sent this very photo of some wedding venue for a wedding reception (which has nothing to do with wedding vows or marriage) to many other women he pursues for this insta relationship? Why in the world does this sort of attention interest you at all? Why doesn't it scare you? Do you have a fun fulfilling life?