She is not texting me proactively but replies to my messages?

[JayJ34]

I have been dating a women. We had 2 dates and both went really well.

First date was at a bar and we talked for like 3 hours straight, after we finished our drinks she suggested to go to a restaurant, which we did. We had a good time and went home after eating. I noticed that she was a little bit shy but the fact that she suggested going to a restaurant showed me that she was interested. After we both arrived at home we exchanged a few silly messages and a few days later after messaging I asked for another date.

Our second date was in billiard bar. We played for 3 hours and then switched to darts for another 2 hours. It was actually a lot of fun and she became much more relaxed around me. I brought her home and as we were saying our goodbyes she was clearly hesitant and did not want to leave, that was for sure.

We have not kissed, because I want to take my time and want to get know what kind of person she is and I made the mistake in the past to rush myself into a relationship where we both were not compatible. But I still engaged physical contact here and there. I already have a plan for our third date and I am intending to kiss her at a suitable moment, just to see if she is into me or not because I am into her and if she is not I am clearly waisting my time.

We texted again after the date, but I always have to initiate the conversation, which is contrary to our real life meetings. She tends to talk a lot and I enjoy that, but when texting she seems always so hesitant does not suggests the dates. I have to do so. She already agreed to a third date but has to wait for her work schedule.

I was wondering if she was actually recieved it because she was not texting me, made a joke about it that she probably has not recieved it. Her answer was something like "I actually got it but only for a week".

Now I am wondering. So she agreed to a third date, she got her schedule, did not text me and when I asked she just said she got it and did not suggest a day or a time to meet.

I am new to dating, my first girlfriend actually approached me and I am sometimes a little bit clueless. I also do not intend to "play games", like waiting a certain time to text or some other bs like that. Life is to short and if you are interested just text the other person, the worst that could happen is that the person is not interested. But this particular situation is kinda confusing to me. 

[Batya33]

I would ask her on the third date -if it is going well -how she feels about texting between dates. Have you had phone calls between dates? I think it sounds like it's going very well in person which is what matters IMO.

[kim42]

Some people don't like texting. I have a friend and she hates it, she doesn't text in between dates, only to schedule or confirm plans.

There are also people who don't text much on purpose because they want to seem needy or too excited. There's plenty of online advice on this whole texting thing, and I know some people take it very seriously.

I think as long as she says yes to the next date, then it's okay. Maybe you can tell her in a funny way that she can plan the next date or text you more.

[Andrina]

1 hour ago, JayJ34 said:

Now I am wondering. So she agreed to a third date, she got her schedule, did not text me and when I asked she just said she got it and did not suggest a day or a time to meet.

The ball is in her court. You did what you needed to do. Sounds like you've double texted or reached out multiple times instead of waiting a longer amount of time to see whether or not she responded in a reasonable amount of time.

Hard to be patient when you're into someone. You don't know her, so it could go either way. Either her way is more slow paced with communication, or she's cowardly in telling you she's not interested in further dates and hoping you will get the hint without her saying so, so that all of this will fade away.

If it were me, I would no longer reach out and have a personal timeline in my mind that if she hasn't reached out, in say, 5 days, I will move on. No further communication necessary because you weren't in a relationship. 

 

 

[smackie9]

If you have to work that hard to have communication, see that as a red flag and don't push this any further. Let her contact you. If she doesn't continue to date others.

[Sindy_0311]

I usually never reach out to a guy but I do respond, not within the minute but when I can. I don’t like to text to much in the beginning because it gives a faux sense of intimacy and closeness. I don’t think it’s an issue her not reaching out as long as she replies consistently. 
i would be more bothered by her vague response for the 3rd date. Also agree with other, don’t bring that up again. Wait to see if she actually suggests a day. 

[Sindy_0311]

5 hours ago, JayJ34 said:

I actually got it but only for a week".

So I assume her work schedule for the week isn’t allowing her to see you? How is that? Does she have night shifts? 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, JayJ34 said:

 So she agreed to a third date, she got her schedule, . I also do not intend to "play games", like waiting a certain time to text or some other bs like that. 

All you can can do is set up date 3 at a mutually convenient time. It's refreshing to hear that you are not into the texting games of "it's her turn now!", thereby sabotaging things with silly phone rules. 

[JayJ34]

2 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

So I assume her work schedule for the week isn’t allowing her to see you? How is that? Does she have night shifts? 

No she has normal day shifts starting at 10 am til late afternoon. That is clearly not the problem. I will set a third date with her and just ask her, I know that she prefers talking to each other in real life over texting, but her short, hesitant answer are kind of misleading, idk 😕

[Sindy_0311]

25 minutes ago, JayJ34 said:

. I will set a third date with her and just ask her

Let her reach out to you. Give her a few days. There’s no hurry. If she wants to see you again she will let you know. 

[JayJ34]

2 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Let her reach out to you. Give her a few days. There’s no hurry. If she wants to see you again she will let you know. 

I dont know about that, as I said, she does not ghost me, her answers are just a little short and in person we have a lot of fun. And I dont see the point in playing games like that, some girls just dont initiate contact via texting. If she is not interested I will defenitely notice that when we meet.

And while writing this reply, she actually messaged me „just because we met twice doesnt mean I am interested in you (kidding)“. Thats acutally how we talk to each other in person and how me make fun, so my guess is that she just isnt into writing.