Broken Family Structure

[Batya33]

Why do you need to have your mom validate medical diagnoses? If you're that curious go get evaluated.  And see this is a warning sign that you're oversharing with your mother.  

If it's such a big deal for you to have your relatives see your home invite them over for something casual or do something else then invite them over for coffee after.  It's your space so close doors or explain you cannot give the grand tour etc- have boundaries, keep the visit short -IF it's a priority to you to have someone be in your home - you can hang out/entertain outside your home obviously.  For all you know their comment was offhand and your intense focus on your home, how it's decorated, the fact that you purchased it - you might be projecting that others care in this way too. 

[Seraphim]

Start with a referral to a psychiatrist from your GP that is what my husband did. He was diagnosed twice by two different psychiatrists with the same neurological issue. My son was also diagnosed by a psychologist with his developmental disability. 
 

Don’t let your mom control your health. My in-laws don’t believe in mental health or disabilities either. This put my husband at severe mental health distress for decades. He stopped listening to their BS and got properly diagnosed and properly treated and told his mom to stick it. His dad is already passed on. 

[boltnrun]

The problem is you DO care what your mom thinks despite your insistence you don't or shouldn't. You are completely enmeshed with her and are consumed with trying to please her while at the same time upset at how judgmental she is. 

I have conflicting feelings about my mother (passed away) so I know how that is. But you have to decide for yourself how much you're going to allow her to dictate your life. 

If you do invite your other relatives and she gets mad, do you fear she'll reject you forever? 

[Jaunty]

11 hours ago, Alex39 said:

 

My mom sees it as betrayal and doesn't understand why I'd subject myself to having them here, because all they want to do is size up my home and see what I have. They tend to compare and compete. 

But I figure, who the heck cares? Let them look. I like what I have. I don't care what they think. My uncle is the type to wander your home, going room to room sizing it up. My mom finds this rude. I agree. But I don't care what they think. I don't let them bother me. 

 

 

 

This may be a bit off topic - but you have mentioned more than one time that you want people to come to your house and "be jealous" of what you have.   Also, you have spent many a page here detailing all the things or events that other people have or are doing.  

This materialistic, acquisitive and competitive characteristic seems to be a family trait that you and other members of your family share.

Do you have any interest in getting to the bottom of this?