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So my husband broke out with sores all over his penis, he suck out all suspicion and went to urgent care and had a positive test for herpes. He has tested positive for hsv1 (cold sores) and hsv2 (genital) and and he insists I have him something but I’ve never cheated and my test results are negative. He had sex w me the day before had sores. Could he be innocent?

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It's possible for it to have been dormant for a long time, but for it to just now have broken out.

However, given his insistence that you gave him something, the accusation, leads me to believe that he's blaming you for something he's done.

Age old trick:  The Guilty Blame the innocent for what The Guilty have done.

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8 hours ago, Averyblack said:

 went to urgent care and had a positive test for herpes.  he insists I have him something but I’ve never cheated and my test results are negative. He had sex w me the day before had sores. 

Sorry this is happening. How long have you been together? 

. It's good you got tested. Hopefully you were tested for other STDs as well.

Please refrain from sex until he is treated appropriately. As far as whether this indicates that you or he cheated it's difficult to put a specific timeline on how long the virus has been present and dormant or active.

Unfortunately that he's pointing a finger at you with infidelity accusations isn't a good sign. Are there any other indications that he cheats or goes to escorts?

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Hi and thanks for responding. We both were tested and clean before we got married. I have a difficult time having the huge amount of faith in him and believing his theories about his positive HSV tests because he cheated on his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend and never admitted it to anyone except me and his father, who passed this past year. I just don’t think I can delude myself on this big of a scale. I just wanted to make sure and get some outside views that I wasn’t missing something. 

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There is no "waiting until it clears up" because not only is there no cure for herpes but it can be contagious while symptoms are so mild they are basically unnoticeable. So this is something you will need to deal with forever if you choose to believe him and stay in the marriage.

It's unlikely he's had it for five years with no symptoms. He either already had it and has had mild outbreaks or he recently contracted it.

Why did you choose to marry someone who you know for a fact cheats? Just curious.

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1 hour ago, Averyblack said:

 We both were tested and clean before we got married.  he cheated on his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend 

If you were both tested and negative before marriage and he suddenly has HSV, and you haven't been with anyone, then he contracted it somewhere besides from you. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I caught HSV ten years ago from a long term partner and only had the initial outbreak and nothing since. I always tell new partners and if anything it has stopped me playing the field, opting instead for proper relationships. 
I’ve never passed it on to anyone, but I do know it could pop up at anytime. Hope this helps. 

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