Am I naive or he is totally weird?

[Cornelia84]

Hi, I would really like some advice. I have met this guy on one of the dating apps. He recommended that we meet the same day we started writing to each other. So we did, and meeting went okay. He was nice, we had many topics in common... We went on a few dates later, and on the third or fourth date he kissed me and we became couple. During our relationship he had some weird moments, not writing so often, being stubborn, telling me that he is thinking about the future and what his role in this world is... Last week he had some health issues, and went to the doctor. They have discovered that he has chlamydia. When he told me, I was furious, because I have never had unprotected sex with anyone before him, and before me, he always had sex without condom. He told me he went on tests for HIV, etc...but never for chlamydia. That day when he told me, I refused to talk to him, so he felt offended and went home (we dont live together yet). We didnt speak until the next day, when I texted him and he replied very cold and distant. I called him, and then we talked like nothing happened. I expected from him to call me next day, but he didnt. He didnt even send any text. Then I texted him and asked what can I expect from our relationship and he didnt reply on that, he just wrote how offended he is from the day I ignored him, when he told me about chlamydia. From that day, we rarely text, he is still cold and distant, he never writes that he loves me or misses me. I really dont understand this behaviour. He is 36 yrs old (scorpio), and Im 38 (leo). I never had many relationships, before him I had partner for 10 years, and he totally broke my heart. Now with this new guy, I thought I can start over, he seemed down to earth and reliable, but after all this behaviour I really dont know anymore. I will be grateful for any advice.

[bluecastle]

Sorry about all this. 

To understand things better, I'm curious: How long were you together before this all happened? Weeks, months, years?

[Cornelia84]

Thank you. We ve been together for 6 months.

[SooSad33]

Okay, so you're upset because he's got something now?  yeah, I guess that's on him.  But, yeah, we all have a past.

How is he 'weird'?  As you stated in your headline.

I don't see anything weird, as it was you who got upset at him.  If you are referring to him not 'writing as often, etc',  yeah, that can happen.  The honeymoon stage does come to an end, things calm down a bit.

Do you two ever talk on the phone, instead of texting?  Communication is important.

How about you?  How long had you been single before getting involved with this one? ( as you say, you were in a ltr of 10 yrs).

 

[Wiseman2]

34 minutes ago, Cornelia84 said:

... Last week he had some health issues, and went to the doctor. They have discovered that he has chlamydia. When he told me, I was furious, because I have never had unprotected sex with anyone before him.

Sorry this happened. Hopefully you've seen your physician/clinic and have had all STD testing done and treated.

Please discuss STD prevention and contraception.  Please read up on Chlamydia. It can be asymptomatic in some individuals for years, including you.

It's understandable you're upset he has an STD, however unfortunately you agreed to unprotected sex as well. 

Try to let the dust settle without blaming. It's only been 24 weeks dating and this is definitely an awkward situation for both of you.

[shouldhavelearned]

Get tested and protect yourself

Based on his response it might be best to move on

[LootieTootie]

Get tested now!

Also, did you ask him where he could have gotten the STD? It seems like you both just got mad and didnt want to talk more about it and gave each other the cold shoulder. It's really important that when things are bad, as a couple, you talk about it and work thru it as a team.

However, if you were mad at him and didnt want to speak to him, it could have turned him off. Then to come back and act normal, like nothing happened, it says a lot about the person's ability or lack of.

Be mindful of this when you're in any relationship.

[SherrySher]

4 hours ago, Cornelia84 said:

Hi, I would really like some advice. I have met this guy on one of the dating apps. He recommended that we meet the same day we started writing to each other. So we did, and meeting went okay. He was nice, we had many topics in common... We went on a few dates later, and on the third or fourth date he kissed me and we became couple. During our relationship he had some weird moments, not writing so often, being stubborn, telling me that he is thinking about the future and what his role in this world is... Last week he had some health issues, and went to the doctor. They have discovered that he has chlamydia. When he told me, I was furious, because I have never had unprotected sex with anyone before him, and before me, he always had sex without condom. He told me he went on tests for HIV, etc...but never for chlamydia. That day when he told me, I refused to talk to him, so he felt offended and went home (we dont live together yet). We didnt speak until the next day, when I texted him and he replied very cold and distant. I called him, and then we talked like nothing happened. I expected from him to call me next day, but he didnt. He didnt even send any text. Then I texted him and asked what can I expect from our relationship and he didnt reply on that, he just wrote how offended he is from the day I ignored him, when he told me about chlamydia. From that day, we rarely text, he is still cold and distant, he never writes that he loves me or misses me. I really dont understand this behaviour. He is 36 yrs old (scorpio), and Im 38 (leo). I never had many relationships, before him I had partner for 10 years, and he totally broke my heart. Now with this new guy, I thought I can start over, he seemed down to earth and reliable, but after all this behaviour I really dont know anymore. I will be grateful for any advice.

He has chlamydia.

That should tell you a number of things.

He is not responsible. He is not careful. He is careless. And he is not mature with having a tantrum over your reaction.

Most women would have dumped him the second they heard the word chlamydia.

Are you hanging on because you're lonely? 

This is not a catch, trust me. He is one to throw back.

[HeartGoesOn]

Since you're both equally responsible for the use of BC, what was your reason for having unprotected sex?

I'm sorry this happened, but you both played a part in this. In short, I'd take this as a lesson learned...

 

[Cherylyn]

Weird?  No.  Naive?  Yes.  Be very cautious in the future.  Live and learn.

[smackie9]

If it were me I would suspect he's been lying about getting tested all those years of being active. Chlamydia is very common and would be tested for. It's on the top of the list as to what to get tested for. Hun, like I always say, if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. You barely know this guy. He could be having sex with someone else for all you know. I don't blame you for getting angry, anyone would. Did he even apologize? show any remorse?