did I do something bad?

[shouldhavelearned]

Get high and eat

 

Don't call people 

[anna ivanova]

7 hours ago, shouldhavelearned said:

Get high and eat

 

Don't call people 

who tf eats on drugs. and what a useless comment, that’s not what I was asking for.

[anna ivanova]

12 hours ago, smackie9 said:

You don't have to tell your BF jack sh%#. You are of free will. You should be able to chat with anyone as long as it's not over stepping boundaries such as a dependency/acting like a couple/emotional affair/ex lover/ex BF, constant texting,etc. Just ask yourself would you approve if your BF was doing the same thing with other girls. If not, then stop/don't doing it.

I have to ask, are you dependant on your BF to keep you company? If so I would suggest getting involved in a social group/make new friends.

As for the drugs, meh everyone did drugs back in my day, and I survived just fine. Just keep note of when and how much you use to keep yourself in check. I quit when someone laid out a 2' line on a full length mirror and offered it to me. That was my wake up call.

thanks for your reply ! I defenitely will not do it again, because I do not want to feel like this again. I also straight away told him about the other friend, but I forgot about the other one for some reason. Otherwise I would’ve already told him. I feel like it’s weird to bring up now and maybe also unnescecary, but I also don’t wanna beat myself up about it forever

not dependant, I work a lot and I have a girl  friend that I go to the gym with etc. and I have a nice family.

Yea, I’m gonna survive that. It’s very common where I live aswell. alot of people I know take drugs atleast every weekend (not that it’s good)) thanks for the advice and I’m glad you got to quit it!!

 

 

[greendots]

On 7/29/2023 at 6:48 PM, Jaunty said:

Why do your drug habits need to be mentioned in your story, if we are not supposed to take them into consideration?

This! I'm not here to judge you taking drugs. However, from your post it seems that your drug-taking-habit is impacting your life negatively. I feel you're going to get more clarity the moment you have a wake-up call or you voluntarily stop taking drugs.

[anna ivanova]

On 8/1/2023 at 6:28 AM, greendots said:

This! I'm not here to judge you taking drugs. However, from your post it seems that your drug-taking-habit is impacting your life negatively. I feel you're going to get more clarity the moment you have a wake-up call or you voluntarily stop taking drugs.

I know, I am not taking drugs for a while now and actively bettering my life. this happened back in march, but I was really wondering if I should still bring this up now

[Batya33]

11 minutes ago, anna ivanova said:

I know, I am not taking drugs for a while now and actively bettering my life. this happened back in march, but I was really wondering if I should still bring this up now

Is your partner doing the same? No if it happened that long ago I would not.

[anna ivanova]

14 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Is your partner doing the same? No if it happened that long ago I would not.

he has some girl friends that are work colleagues, he sometimes went to the gym with one of them but other than that not really no

[Wiseman2]

58 minutes ago, anna ivanova said:

. this happened back in march, but I was really wondering if I should still bring this up now

Let the dust settle. No need to stir up drama if your relationship is otherwise fine. Relax and enjoy your healthier lifestyle 

[Batya33]

6 minutes ago, anna ivanova said:

he has some girl friends that are work colleagues, he sometimes went to the gym with one of them but other than that not really no

No I mean is your partner still using drugs?

[anna ivanova]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

No I mean is your partner still using drugs?

not as far as I know 🙂 we are working on it together

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, anna ivanova said:

not as far as I know 🙂 we are working on it together

What kind of work? Are you part of a support group like AA? If you're working on it together why don't you know if he is still using drugs? Consider how dangerous this is to your physical and mental health and your future employment, career, schooling, if you want a family?

[Tinydance]

On 7/30/2023 at 4:18 AM, anna ivanova said:

I do not have a toxic boyfriend. he isn’t stopping me from talking to other people. I (!!) am just worried it’s bad I forgot to tell him I talked to a GUY friend, due to his response when I told about my other friend. I just feel dumb and tend to overreact. it’s fine by me if I can’t be friends with guys alone, then I won’t. but I just feel ***ty because I forgot to tell him about this before I knew that, like I’m hiding it. but I’m not, because I forgot and have to stop beating myself up over it now.

besides me worrying in this post, I have to say my boyfriend has never hurt me and always shows me how much he cares for me in actions and words. we have been together a long time and I’m very happy with him.

Well since you're not asking about advice about drugs, let's leave drugs out of it. I don't think you did anything wrong and you don't have to feel bad that you talked to male friends. If they are really just your friends then you are allowed to have friends. Also you only called them on the phone and didn't see them in person, right? 

If your boyfriend goes to the gym with a female and also used to see his ex, he has no right to tell you that you can't talk to guys. He is doing the same thing! I don't understand why you need to tell him about every time you talk to friends. I talk to my friends often and I don't need to tell my partner every time.

[Tinydance]

On 7/30/2023 at 1:12 PM, shouldhavelearned said:

Get high and eat

 

Don't call people 

Solid advice

[Tinydance]

On 7/30/2023 at 8:42 PM, anna ivanova said:

who tf eats on drugs. and what a useless comment, that’s not what I was asking for.

Well you're obviously not smoking weed because weed can make you very hungry lol

[Andrina]

Having a conscience to do what's right is a good thing, so pat yourself on the back for that. It's good that you've taken steps to stop the drug use, because you should know that getting addicted to anything, whether it be gambling, drugs, alcohol will have you prioritizing that over any people in your life--a sad situation.

[Batya33]

13 minutes ago, Andrina said:

Having a conscience to do what's right is a good thing, so pat yourself on the back for that. It's good that you've taken steps to stop the drug use, because you should know that getting addicted to anything, whether it be gambling, drugs, alcohol will have you prioritizing that over any people in your life--a sad situation.

I agree and yes OP this is about drugs, too.  It doesn't matter if you didn't ask for "advice" -your anxiety level and ruminating and overthinking is related to your drug use and related to his whether it's a medical connection or a practical one. Drugs like you describe mess up everything and from my perspective I've seen too many messed up lives that are a shame -it didn't have to be that way at all.  It's not moralistic it's practical.  Get a grip and disassociate yourself from the "everyone" who you think justifies your use.  It doesn't. It's not everyone. Not even close. 

And if it means saving your pennies to relocate away to a place where you can meet diverse groups of people -people who live lives that have small and large goals, reasonably healthful lives who don't need to abuse drugs for entertainment or happiness -so much the better. It is related and it's nothing to take a light approach to - I'd say the same if you were addicted to alcohol.

[anna ivanova]

On 8/4/2023 at 7:55 AM, Tinydance said:

Well since you're not asking about advice about drugs, let's leave drugs out of it. I don't think you did anything wrong and you don't have to feel bad that you talked to male friends. If they are really just your friends then you are allowed to have friends. Also you only called them on the phone and didn't see them in person, right? 

If your boyfriend goes to the gym with a female and also used to see his ex, he has no right to tell you that you can't talk to guys. He is doing the same thing! I don't understand why you need to tell him about every time you talk to friends. I talk to my friends often and I don't need to tell my partner every time.

Okay. I called one friend and told my boyfriend about it. But also chatted with an old friend and we played a game, but I forgot to tell my bf about that. That’s it

He did those things, but told me everything, but I guess I don’t need to bring it up anymore since it’s months later and I just forgot about it

[boltnrun]

If you want to break up with your boyfriend you don't have to go to this elaborate scheme of telling him something totally irrelevant that happened months ago.  You can just tell him you don't feel the relationship is right for you, you're sorry but you're breaking up with him.

If you DON'T want to break up, then stop obsessing over a small detail that means nothing.

[anna ivanova]

55 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

If you want to break up with your boyfriend you don't have to go to this elaborate scheme of telling him something totally irrelevant that happened months ago.  You can just tell him you don't feel the relationship is right for you, you're sorry but you're breaking up with him.

If you DON'T want to break up, then stop obsessing over a small detail that means nothing.

is this a serious comment? I do NOT want to break up with my boyfriend. if I wanted to break up with him I would not worry about possibly hurting him. usually honestly last longest, so that’s why I was asking for advice. anyways I think I’ve already made up my mind not to bring it up anymore.

[boltnrun]

9 minutes ago, anna ivanova said:

is this a serious comment? I do NOT want to break up with my boyfriend. if I wanted to break up with him I would not worry about possibly hurting him. usually honestly last longest, so that’s why I was asking for advice. anyways I think I’ve already made up my mind not to bring it up anymore.

Oftentimes people will invent conflict in the hopes their boyfriend/girlfriend will breakup with them, saving them the trouble and guilt.

But you apparently aren't doing this, so yes, it's good you have chosen not to reveal this irrelevant detail.

[anna ivanova]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Oftentimes people will invent conflict in the hopes their boyfriend/girlfriend will breakup with them, saving them the trouble and guilt.

But you apparently aren't doing this, so yes, it's good you have chosen not to reveal this irrelevant detail.

I understand, I genuinely thought I might’ve done something bad. but thank all of you for your replies, that did help me!

[catfeeder]

On 8/3/2023 at 6:34 AM, anna ivanova said:

I know, I am not taking drugs for a while now and actively bettering my life. this happened back in march, but I was really wondering if I should still bring this up now

What would you expect him to do with that information?