Boring OLD adventures

[wittgkant]

I'm a 24M that has been on Hinge for a month and i have a fair amount of matches, but the problem arises when girls open (they do at least once every 3 days or smt) but they open the blandest way possible. (ik guys are known to be the best at that) Ex: I had a prompt on Hinge that said : you can seduce me if you can do a split or have a bad sense of direction. At first glance this might be stupid, but I do gymnastics and i'm a hockey goalie so im really into splits and also i have a terrible sense of direction when going out. Well, that prompt "prompted" girls to text me talking about it but they just were saying either they were good at both or bad at both, just that. I responded to that by moving the subject away and they dont respond. I dont understand: you find me cute, cute even to text me first and when I talk (fairly playing too, i mention something about their bio and so on...) they go away. Its frustating. I think the best dates i had on that app happened when the girl wasnt really keen on having a funny vibe or banal convo, just normal conversation. I know people will say "what a good problem to have", or "yeah keep bragging" but it is truth, it happens too much. I dont know what to do, I plan to delete Hinge tbh. When I do match and I talk to them it is the same, while I do try to keep being engaged to them by mentioning their bio and so on. But then again, i came to the realize that either she will like you regardless of what you said or not. Well, it is just in my case. 

It probably is a me problem, and I should be more interesting but it begs the question. OLD really makes you question your self-worth. 

Some thoughts would be appreciated. 

[Kwothe28]

I dont think its you, its your average men dating app experience. Women are a minority on dating apps, 20-25% at best. So at the start you are having 3 men on 1 woman just for existing. But you are not only competing with 2 other men for 1 woman effection, her dating pool is much larger then yours. Average woman can get 100+ likes a day. So you have a disproportionate experience where any woman has easier access to dates. But that unfortunately means many men are left in the dust. Because 20-25% of women cant date 3x larger population of men there. But only a handful of them who come out on top out of 100+ men who she gets daily to match her. You for example get matches and that is fine. But out of all those matches some of them are bots, some of them are not there to date and just want attention, lots of them will just go to some other match because they have a choice. So in average, man has to go through a lot of matches to continue something.

How much is a lot? I watched some Tinder experiment. Out of 8000 likes, guy(who is generally average) got 290 matches. Out of 290 matches he got 11 phone numbers. And out of 11 phone numbers he got 3 dates. He had to swipe 8000 times to get 3 dates. That are maybe going to be "one and done". So again, its not you. Its just how dating apps work for men in general. You have to go through a lot to get to something. 

[Wiseman2]

It seems like you're burned out from the nonsense on dating apps and unfortunately that's common.

Take a break. Try a different strategy and approach and screening and matching criteria.

Consider some paid quality relationship-focused apps. Why? Because they offer more serious daters and apps such as Match and eHarmony are closer to 50-50 ratio-wise. Free apps in general and hookup apps in particular up to 75-80% guys, so you'll just get lost in the shuffle.

[Andrina]

I supplemented OLD with Meetup.com groups, taking dance classes (group lesson an hour before the dance: East Coast Swing), and accepting friends attempts at fix-ups. I didn't join any other hobbies to meet men, but I might have considered that if I'd had that kind of time back then.

Spread your net wide to find a larger school of fish. It's a numbers game. 

[lostandhurt]

My best advice in any situation is ask questions.  Online or in person.

If you get a message reply to what ever they commented on in a funny way and then ask a question about them.  This gives them an easy way to answer.   They are outnumbered and get tons of messages so you need to think quickly and not be like every other guy.

 Have you tried moving it along to meeting right away? "Yes I can, I would love to tell you all about it over coffee, that is if I can find the coffee shop 😁"

 If what you are doing is not working try something else.  Can't hurt right?

Lost