wittgkant

Thank you very much for this thoughtful response. You are right about it. Im just clinging because I havent experience that since then. Maybe it is a mix of both: me and the people I meet. Then again this clinging feeling just arises because I can not explain why she caressed me first out of nowhere and yet she did not want to see me again. I just do not understand that point. Thank you. I have some work to do and hopefully the future wont be as bleak.

You’re very much reaching. It was a quick text and we weren’t even talking when I did that. I understand that it wasn’t good of me. But you’re treating me like it was a capital offense what I did. Then why did she caress my cheek after me doing that ? Then again, I know I shouldn’t have done that of texting someone but it was so quick.

I feel very sad sometimes when i start to remember a date I had back in 2019. At that moment in my life I was 20: I had just moved to another neighbourhood. She was my age and we meet on Tinder. I remember that we went for ice cream. The date itself, to me, what good. We were laughing and the convo was good. During that time I was seeing someone else but I wasnt sure about things so I went to the date with remords (we became official that week but broke up the following month) and the other person i was seeing was texting me while I was on the date. I remember vividly how the date end it. To this day it makes me sad and dont understand why that happened. So we were young and our city has not very good bus system. It was late and she lived with her parents. So we called an uber. The uber took some time to come and we were kinda in a rush i dont remember why, because it was getting late. So we get into the uber and I'm texting the person (but I was telling her that it was my dad... she kept insisting that if i had told my dad about it so he can pick me up) I was dating. Then I see her sudden change, she became serious: her facial expression turned very serious very fast. I ask what I happened and she said nothing. Then randomly she caresses my cheek in a very loving way. Then the next day she wrote a long text saying that we were better off as friends. I ignored it and deleted her off my facebook friends. To this day I dont remember her name. To this day I feel sad when I remember that day of 2019. It was the best date that I had. Since then I have been in countless dates, I have seeen people, engage in multiple unsurious relationships yet I havent experienced what I felt that day. In the moment I didnt realize it ; I was not in the moment and that probably play into the fact of not wanting to be more than friends. She was a great soul, an amazing talker, had a beautiful laugh and just what I wanted from a girl. I feel sick to myself ; thorned in my soul regarding that. I grant you that maybe I am putting great deal of emphasis on this. That maybe she just didnt liked me, and thats fair. But everytime that i remember her touching me my cheeks my heart crumbles. I dont remember her name. I only know where she used to work and thats it. This is my story about a fantasy ruined by my past self. I know my behaviour was not the right one to begin with. I just feel sad when I think about her. I feel discouraged that such small interaction (we saw each other for 4 hours) that took place 4 years ago has such a big place.

I'm a 24M that has been on Hinge for a month and i have a fair amount of matches, but the problem arises when girls open (they do at least once every 3 days or smt) but they open the blandest way possible. (ik guys are known to be the best at that) Ex: I had a prompt on Hinge that said : you can seduce me if you can do a split or have a bad sense of direction. At first glance this might be stupid, but I do gymnastics and i'm a hockey goalie so im really into splits and also i have a terrible sense of direction when going out. Well, that prompt "prompted" girls to text me talking about it but they just were saying either they were good at both or bad at both, just that. I responded to that by moving the subject away and they dont respond. I dont understand: you find me cute, cute even to text me first and when I talk (fairly playing too, i mention something about their bio and so on...) they go away. Its frustating. I think the best dates i had on that app happened when the girl wasnt really keen on having a funny vibe or banal convo, just normal conversation. I know people will say "what a good problem to have", or "yeah keep bragging" but it is truth, it happens too much. I dont know what to do, I plan to delete Hinge tbh. When I do match and I talk to them it is the same, while I do try to keep being engaged to them by mentioning their bio and so on. But then again, i came to the realize that either she will like you regardless of what you said or not. Well, it is just in my case. It probably is a me problem, and I should be more interesting but it begs the question. OLD really makes you question your self-worth. Some thoughts would be appreciated.

Update here: She answer the email saying that she couldn’t go because she had a friends party the same day. Then wished me a good summer. Bummer.

Thanks man! Just one last thing, I know im asking for much, but this is the email that im going to send her : ' Hey Beatrice, it's Javier! I was wondering if you're coming on Friday after all? If you ever want to come, we could go together since we don't know many people jajaja (questioning if I should send the "jajaja" ) You tell me if it suits you and we can do a little pregame before 😉 Take it easy Is that okay...

I'm just very pessimistic that shes going to respond, I'll doubt it. I kinda want to just go to party and if she shows up then fine, if not all good. But then again, she told me that i'm the only one that she knows there so idk. Idk what to do about the situation. I really fancy this girl, and I just think that its already over: she might be attracted to me, but not that strongly to come to a gathering just for me or because i reminded her. I dont know what to do, I really like this girl but I feel that its kinda over already... Am I overthinking... I also saw her on hinge, and swipe right on here, but she doesnt seems active... Anyways, Im really, really overthinking this, i do not know what to do at all...Any words would be greatly appreciated it...

Thanks to see it that way. I’m normally pretty relaxed and sometimes witty, but nerves just got to me there!

Oh, no. I forgot to precise that i got her email way back at the beginning of the semester because i missed a class and I ask her to send me the notes. Im just debating at this point if it is correct if I email her the day before asking her if shes coming, and since she doesnt know anyone besides me, then will it be correct to tell her that we can go together ?

So, there's this girl in my class that I always found attractive (she's 28, I'm 24) all semester long, but that was just it, I didn't think I was going to talk to her or whether it be. Yesterday, our last day of school, she saw me going to our exam room (which was very hard to find) and we went there together: we couldn't really talk because it was a maze to get there: we discussed but we were more concerned about finding our premises. I was a bit clumsy. (I have this tendency to say things but mumble them...like I'm saying something that might be funny at first and add something related to it but it be mumbling...) After the exam, we saw each other in one way or another (she was leaving but couldn't find the exit and she saw me that I was behind her and so she stopped on her way, a little embarrassed, couldn't find the exit, looked at me smiling and asked me where to go...) Well, I guided her. Then we talked after the exam, then again it was hard to find the words: she finished my sentences in a certain way... I told her that we had a small gathering in our program next week and so she had to come, and so she asked me how gatherings usually go since she didn't know many people (she's very reserved, as if she didn't seem approachable at all), she said she only knew me in the program (I don't know why, but I find it special since it was the first time we really spoke). After that, I told her that I didn't know many people either, so there was a bit of an awkward silence, mixed with laughter from both of us. Then we were crossing the street and she said to me: well, my bike is here. I asked her oh are you coming to cycle to school she said yes; me: oh it's not a big trip compared to mine that i have to take several buses and the metro. She asked where I was from and told her. In retrospect, I think I should have said something more engaging, interesting, relaxed. Afterwards she did say she should go to the party and she said it would be a pleasant big surprise (again now I'm thinking I could have said something flirty out of that or interesting; but no, I only acquiesced to her gesture, with yeses of the head and a smile) and she continued to smile, looking at me emphasizing the word surprise: it seemed odd to me a little. Then we each went our own way. I feel bad because I acted socially awkward, can i have advice for that. Usually, I'm very talkative, but since I find her very nice, I acted strangely. How can I improve myself. Also, I have her email, should I send her a message inviting her for a drink? Or is it better to wait if she shows to the party or then again should i send her a email asking her if she will comme to the gathering ?