Did I lose her for good, is all hope lost?

[summerlovedave]

I would like to know if there is still some hope (even if it's small) to get her back in my life. My gf (27 F) of 5 years broke up with me by mid Feb. First of all, it was my fault for making her wait too much. We already had prior discussion on goals and timeframes. I stupidly fell asleep, didn't notice time was slipping by and I would lose her one day.

I've tried to get her back. Two weeks ago I took my day off (went to the jewelry store the day before), headed to the airport, tried to stop her from taking the plane to another state, asked her the question (it was sincere) but it was a futile attempt. She immediately declined, told me she wanted nothing from me. This was her reply that I'll never forget: 'I've never seen you taking major actions until now. Why now?

I don't know what more I can do. I've tried my best to make her reconsider and not take the plane. She still walked away, declined my proposal and I watched hopelessly as the plane took off. I know she's going to likely find someone, have kids with someone else. I must admit this makes me jealous and sad at once. I wish she came back. If she did, I'm already for her. I don't mind asking her again and again until she says yes. Is everything lost or is there some hope?

What will it take for her to come back, to give me this last time, to say yes to me? It was a blue sapphire ring, her favorite but she declined it. I can be that man she always wanted. Is all hope lost? Did I really lose her? I want her back. 

[gamon]

What is it about the word "No" don't you get?

[summerlovedave]

Just now, gamon said:

What is it about the word "No" don't you get?

I never knew what it was like to lose someone for good. I'm aware of my mistakes and I lost her. I'm sad. I just wish there was a way she might reconsider later on. There are people that have gotten back together and their relationship got stronger. I would like to imagine that might happen to us. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, summerlovedave said:

 We already had prior discussion on goals and timeframes

Sorry this happened. Where did she fly off to? Were you living together?

Unfortunately it seems like you are heartbroken so made a last ditch attempt to salvage things.

Unfortunately if you were compatible and on the same page, it would never have come to this airport scene. 

All you can do is let go. If it were going to work out, it would have worked out long ago.

[MissCanuck]

5 hours ago, summerlovedave said:

I don't mind asking her again and again until she says yes.

Good grief man, don't do this. It's not only incredibly annoying but also very disrespectful. When someone clearly says no, that's not your cue to keep badgering them and ignoring what they have already told you. 

5 hours ago, summerlovedave said:

Did I really lose her?

Yes, it seems you did. She isn't interested in fixing this anymore or in you becoming the man she wanted. The time for that has passed. It's no longer what she wants. 

Concentrate instead on healing and moving on. 

 

[Batya33]

You made choices and these are the consequences and she is entitled to be left alone and move on and find someone who won't "fall asleep" and passively let time pass at the expense of spending the long term with a special person.  I'm sorry the consequences are so hard for you. Consider how hard it was for your ex to watch you nodding off/yawning/watching the sun rise and set and doing...... nothing.  Now she gets to be out there and find a man who will step up to the plate or, perhaps as these are modern times, be overjoyed when she proposes to him.  Doesn't she deserve that?

And you deserve to become the right person to find the right person.  Adulting so often requires action, even if you are tired/fried/would rather binge watch Netflix.

[boltnrun]

Why did she have to break up with you to get you to do anything?

Did she ever, even once, tell you she was dissatisfied with how the relationship was going? And if she did, did you just yawn and keep doing nothing? Why, if you love her like you say you do, did you do nothing?

[summerlovedave]

11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. Where did she fly off to? Were you living together?

Unfortunately it seems like you are heartbroken so made a last ditch attempt to salvage things.

Unfortunately if you were compatible and on the same page, it would never have come to this airport scene. 

All you can do is let go. If it were going to work out, it would have worked out long ago.

She flew to Hew Hampshire. We were living together (Miami, FL) after a year of dating. I'm deeply devastated. After the plane took off, I went home and got drunk. 

During our last conversation, she expressed about being hurt that it took leaving to get a proposal from me instead of on my own. She also stated about how I always seem to do certain things at the last moment (I still get it done though), even to pay the bill sometimes. It's true. This is something I'm going to work on fixing. 

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, summerlovedave said:

She flew to Hew Hampshire. We were living together (Miami, FL) after a year of dating. I'm deeply devastated. After the plane took off, I went home and got drunk. 

During our last conversation, she expressed about being hurt that it took leaving to get a proposal from me instead of on my own. She also stated about how I always seem to do certain things at the last moment (I still get it done though), even to pay the bill sometimes. It's true. This is something I'm going to work on fixing. 

Yes so you see it's understandable why she declined.  Figure out a plan -step by step how you are going to do and accomplish this work.  Not to win her back -for personal growth.  I mean last minute but getting it done often is fine but the issue is last minute risks being late because life happens.