Forgotten two shifts in the space of a week

[1a1a]

As it says in the name. This time last Monday I had to be chased down by phone because I was meant to be on site showing a new sound tech around the client’s space. Last Monday this happened because I had said yes to the shift I missed the step where it went in my diary. (Last time there was the new tech there and she held the fort and I was able to come late and show her around without the event suffering. I didn’t charge for that job and resolved to be fantastically reliable for everything else this term.
 

Today I get a call from the client asking when I’m coming in. PANIC! I’m 300km and a fully booked out ferry ride away from the venue. I managed to get through to my boss pretty quickly and let him know I was feeling really Ill and, although he’s already got one venue he needs to be at this morning, and another one calling him, and the other tech that usually covers when I’m unavailable is going in for surgery today, he can swing by my venue and get them going. So I guess I think I hope this client will be ok but I don’t just hurt me with these two *** ups, if he loses the client over them that’s even worse. 
 

Going over today’s *** up I can see once again this shift is not in my diary. I didn’t manually copy it over. Why didn’t I manually copy it over? How do I not *** up like this again? This is really really really really bad. (Can I get google calendar to send me reminders for jobs?! I’m going to look into that right now). 
 

I’m a ball of anxiety and fear right now for the safety of my future employment and the safety of my boss’s ongoing relationship with with the client and worse, I failed at basic schedule keeping and I don’t know why, which means, what’s to stop this from happening again?

I’m 36 years old what the *** is wrong with me that suddenly this year I can’t keep a basic work commitment?! (Because I did have one dangerously near misses years ago and then I started keeping the diary to try and prevent that.)

[Jaunty]

My Google calendar definitely provides alerts, right on my phone.   I set the timing for them.  Of course it doesn't work if I forget to add the event / appointment / obligation or set the timing for the alert, which has happened.  

[1a1a]

Found the notification settings and turned them all on. Good thing about this job the boss puts the bookings in the calendar (and I get an email saying can you accept this shift and need to click yes to lock it in). 
 

Still feel awful. Wish I hadn’t traveled away from home. This would still be bad if I was home but at least I could have gone in late. I never took any holidays from my work for about 16 years and I’ve been tentatively trying to take some these last few months so I can travel, the first time one of my fill in techs did such a bad job at a gig I lost that client and this time I’ve missed an 8 hour shift and shot my reputation for being reliable in the face, again. (Missing the income hurts too). I feel like ‘what is wrong with me that I can’t remember and honour a commitment these days? ‘ And also like taking time off is cursed don’t do that.

[boltnrun]

I seem to recall this is an ongoing issue with you. You are also frequently late, aren't you?

When I need to remember something I put it in my calendar immediately. I don't decide to do it later or figure I'll remember. I won't. So no matter what, I put it down immediately. No exceptions, no excuses. If I don't have my phone or calendar with me I go get it. I literally say what it is I need to remember out loud until I put it in my phone or calendar. I may sound silly repeating "meeting at 12:30, meeting at 12:30" but I don't care. 

Definitely put things down immediately. No delays. 

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

I seem to recall this is an ongoing issue with you. You are also frequently late, aren't you?

When I need to remember something I put it in my calendar immediately. I don't decide to do it later or figure I'll remember. I won't. So no matter what, I put it down immediately. No exceptions, no excuses. If I don't have my phone or calendar with me I go get it. I literally say what it is I need to remember out loud until I put it in my phone or calendar. I may sound silly repeating "meeting at 12:30, meeting at 12:30" but I don't care. 

Definitely put things down immediately. No delays. 

Yes - I am very good at remembering everything so my calendar is just a backup but I'm still hypervigilant about it.  I also do a reminder in my phone at night that goes off while I am on the treadmill in the morning -it has all my tasks for the morning even though there's so little chance of me forgetting any - but this way I know every morning my phone will ping and if there is anything different like there will be tomorrow (medical appointment plus I have to place a time sensitive order before noon) I know I will look.  I don't want any risk that I will forget so it's my backup.  

What I do as backups is very time consuming and often boring.  I feel I have to.

Also if something goes in my google calendar I turn on the alerts right then.  If I can't get to my phone I write it down on a piece of paper that is on my kitchen counter.  I am at that precise location constantly.  Then it goes into my phone.  

It is happening because you've chosen not to be diligent. You can keep a work commitment.  I wouldn't go there with how old you are and "why can't I." You can.  You made choices not to.  Do NOT rely on your boss for this -he is a back up to the back up. He might forget as well.  

It's not fair for others to have to chase you down by phone.  I've been the person having to do that, having to email people who worked with me who were no shows and my behind was on the line with my boss.  It sucks. 

I am being somewhat harsh because I think your approach of wondering "why is this happening" is not going to solve the issue.  You know why. You know how to stop it.  For my first 15-20 or so years of working I had to be places on time especially as a teacher and other time sensitive jobs and I didn't have a phone.  I had paper, post-its, whatever I needed to make sure I didn't mess up. 

I messed up once by forgetting: May 1, 1991.  I forgot it was the first day of May and not end of April and I was supposed to substitute teach at a school -I had committed to it the previous week- and instead I went to my other part time job.  My mom called me because the school called our house "where is she".  I was very very lucky they cut me slack and asked me back again.  I was mortified that I messed up the date. I couldn't get there and  the school had to scramble to find a sub.  So yes I messed up.  It was an awful feeling.  I think for you it feels awful too and that will motivate you to do what it takes to prevent this from happening again.  

  Certainly if you feel it's happening because heaven forbid you have a medical or mental health condition then of course get that checked out.   I'm sorry you're stressed.

[Kwothe28]

Google calendar, even basic Android phone calendar, they all have options for that sort of things. I suggest to use them if you are "forgettable" about the job. You cant let others covering you for your work. Not just because your company might lose clients, but because its unprofessional. It reflects poorly on you and on your level of work. My dad never even got late to his work. My mom also. I have a problem with "procastrinating", aka leaving stuff up until the last minute. And even with that, never late to mine no matter what happens, and never missed a deadline. You need to be more responsible with stuff like that, its your job. So yes, if you will just forget, use calendars as a reminder.

[1a1a]

Bolt you remember correctly. (One if this years Nye resolutions is to plan to be 15 minutes early for everything. So far, going ok, in that I still run late but because I was aiming early I’m landing on time). 
 

Truly worst feeling. Up until now I’ve forgone app calendars in favour of the paper diary because being able to see it all laid out is pleasing to me (not just a little ‘hey there’s something here dot like you see on the Apple calendar). Time to switch to calendar app though paper no good if I can’t keep it up to date. 

[Batya33]

16 minutes ago, 1a1a said:

Bolt you remember correctly. (One if this years Nye resolutions is to plan to be 15 minutes early for everything. So far, going ok, in that I still run late but because I was aiming early I’m landing on time). 
 

Truly worst feeling. Up until now I’ve forgone app calendars in favour of the paper diary because being able to see it all laid out is pleasing to me (not just a little ‘hey there’s something here dot like you see on the Apple calendar). Time to switch to calendar app though paper no good if I can’t keep it up to date. 

I would do both plus post-its where you have to see them regularly.  That's fabulous that you're being more timely!

[boltnrun]

58 minutes ago, 1a1a said:

no good if I can’t keep it up to date. 

You can. You're just not using it.

What prevented you from writing these jobs in your calendar as soon as you booked them?

[catfeeder]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I know it feels really lousy.

Whenever I make a commitment, I enter it in my calendar while I still have the person on the phone or their message open.

I won't step away from it without ensuring that it's complete and accurate, or else something else will pop right up to distract me.

If I'm on a phone call, I read it back to the person.

[1a1a]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

You can. You're just not using it.

What prevented you from writing these jobs in your calendar as soon as you booked them?

I did yes a bunch of these jobs and while doing so message the boss to let him know about two I couldn’t do. At which point he said they weren’t quite confirmed yet by the client (client looking for their own full time technician). 
 

They subsequently did get confirmed and I would have sat down to transfer them all to my diary and must have just not seen this one, the month view for the app calendars isn’t great for my brain (and I am just now realising I should switch to week for this task). With the missed job the week before it wasn’t in the app calendar but I made the mistake of confirming before I was sitting down with my diary ready to write it down (which is what I normally do). 
 

I think you’ve got the right way catfeeder. 

[1a1a]

Owch, I think I might be caught out in the lie.

I sent an email apologising and confirming I’ll be there for my Wednesday shift and the boss replied ‘no problem, hopefully the sea air helps you feel better’

*PANIC*
 

My dad used to manage staff and I called him about what to do. His two cents was ‘leave it well alone and he might know and be letting you know he knows but he hasn’t fired you.’

He did suggest calling the client tomorrow to ask how it went and apologise and stress this was 100% my fault not my bosses and i really hope I haven’t damaged his relationship with the client. And that It would be better to talk to the boss face to face about how i handled this morning./ only if he brings it up. And that I have one week of extremely bad unreliability but before that a year of steady quality friendly work under my belt. 
 

Ugh. I can implement systems to never have this again but the repercussions of today I have to live with. And I’m brought to mind of a sound tech thread where people were discussing their worst gigs. Occasionally someone would pipe up and say ‘it’s not brain surgery, at least when you have a bad gig nobody dies’. 

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, 1a1a said:

and must have just not seen this one, the month view for the app calendars isn’t great for my brain (and I am just now realising I should switch to week for this task). With the missed job the week before it wasn’t in the app calendar but I made the mistake of confirming before I was sitting down with my diary ready to write it down (which is what I normally do). 

Yes that's an accurate description of what happened and it's good you have a plan as to insure it doesn't happen again.   I like in this post the ways you took responsibility and made a plan to not repeat the mistake.  Good luck!

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, 1a1a said:

Ugh. I can implement systems to never have this again but the repercussions of today I have to live with. And I’m brought to mind of a sound tech thread where people were discussing their worst gigs. Occasionally someone would pipe up and say ‘it’s not brain surgery, at least when you have a bad gig nobody dies’. 

No one dies in many jobs based on something going wrong.  I've experienced so much unncessary stress in various jobs because of colleagues being unreliable and not showing up/being late/not being reliable in providing accurate information to meet an intense deadline.  I've had to risk work product that wasn't my best because of situations like you describe with someone on the team not showing up or showing up too late.

I'm glad you want to improve and that you're taking seriously the next steps -I'd focus more on making things right than insuring you don't get fired  -certainly apologize to the client if that is good for the client relationship and good for your boss.  It's also fine if you decide you simply don't care enough about this line of work/this job to do what it takes to be reliable and timely -there are jobs where it's less important for sure.

Hope things change and go smoothly from here.  Good luck.

 

[boltnrun]

Wait, did you lie and say you were sick when you were actually out of town on a vacation? I'm confused.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Wait, did you lie and say you were sick when you were actually out of town on a vacation? I'm confused.

Yes I thought she had lied about illness.

[MissCanuck]

10 hours ago, 1a1a said:

Owch, I think I might be caught out in the lie.

I sent an email apologising and confirming I’ll be there for my Wednesday shift and the boss replied ‘no problem, hopefully the sea air helps you feel better’

*PANIC*

Yes, the boss definitely knows you lied. 

I don't agree with your dad that you should wait and see if the boss brings it up. You are likely already skating on thin ice by forgetting two shifts and now it's been discovered somehow that you were dishonest about where you were. 

If you want to keep your job, I think you need to be upfront with your boss and own up to your choices. Outline the ways you are going to improve, and sincerely apologize. Don't wait for the boss the approach you. Show initiative and take accountability. 

[boltnrun]

I agree with @MissCanuck

I've made mistakes at work (not lied, just made mistakes). I walked directly into my boss's office and after asking if she had a minute, I said "I made a mistake. I'd like to show you what I did and see how to fix it." If I forgot something I would plainly state "To be honest I completely forgot. I have no excuses for forgetting. I've updated my calendar settings and revised my task list so this doesn't happen again. I apologize for forgetting." My bosses always said they appreciated my honesty. I always got another chance because I didn't try to lie or make up some excuse. 

I agree honesty is best. Apologize for forgetting and describe what steps you are taking to ensure it doesn't happen again. Your boss will decide if that's enough to keep you on. 

[1a1a]

Your gut feelings to be up front about what steps I’m taking to not mess up like this again are mine. But both my friend who owned a company and managed staff for 11 years and my dad who managed staff for 16 said ‘don’t bring that up, keep it simple, apologise, identify that you know what the problem is and affirm it won’t happen again’. Which brings me to an anxious point of indecision. 
 

Certainly after this I’m going back to telling the truth. Even if it’s bad enough it gets me fired. Better than the truth being bad and getting caught in the lie. 
 

 

[MissCanuck]

6 hours ago, 1a1a said:

But both my friend who owned a company and managed staff for 11 years and my dad who managed staff for 16 said ‘don’t bring that up, keep it simple, apologise, identify that you know what the problem is and affirm it won’t happen again’.

I have also managed staff and do not agree with this advice. 

[Batya33]

6 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I have also managed staff and do not agree with this advice. 

Same and I agree with this.  Given the gravity of the situation the boss is entitled to specifics.  

[boltnrun]

Yes, do acknowledge what happened, resolve to never let it happen again and give specifics for how you will prevent this going forward. And definitely apologize. 

I also managed staff and was very unimpressed with excuses or dodging and especially when the person acted defensive or sullen. 

[1a1a]

While I was indecisive about bringing it up again, the universe presented a chance meeting with my boss in a context outside of working for him. We chatted for a bit and before he could run away I apologised again and let him know about shifting to the calendar app with notifications on and thank you for not cancelling the rest of my shifts, he would have been within rights. He said he would have stuffed himself if he had (very short of crew at the moment). 
 

In short, I still did wrong and let him down and he knows it but by chance of circumstance I have an opportunity do right by him going forward.