Worries for Hubby’s return to work in about 3 weeks

[Seraphim]

Many of you know my husband sustained a 3rd degree concussion on June 8. It is his third 3 rd degree concussion. 
 

Yesterday my husband made a leap in his short term memory. He remember what he went into the store for . He said he really had to concentrate to remember and when we were home he remembered to put away the groceries something he didn’t remember to do a few days ago. At work it is far more complicated than remembering 2 things you went into the store for. He writes training plans for the entire Canadian Forces and holds meetings and writing boards. He is afraid he won’t be able to do that with the speed and effectiveness required. He is required to communicate in a complicated written and verbal style. He might only return to work 2 half days initially . 
 

At present he forgets what he is doing half way through and sometimes forgets he is talking . When his brain really over loads he can’t get words out for about 30 seconds and his eyes flutter. This doesn’t happen a lot but when frustrated or overwhelmed it is more inclined to happen. We just patiently wait for him to be able to communicate. This has improved a lot from initial concerns when he was stuttering and struggling to communicate most of the time and would frantically point at things.
 

His intelligence and long term memory is totally intact.  
 

He said he is done being at home he is frustratedand wants to go to work. At the same time he is afraid that his speech and memory concerns will impede  him and people will think less of him or won’t have patience .  There is also no way to know if his negative impacts are permanent. The doctor said each brain is so individual so it is hard to tell if it will just take months to return or if it’s permanent. He has made strides though so she is encouraged. She says his recovery trajectory is still upwards and she is still impressed with what he can do with the gravity of his brain injury. ( her word)
 

At present he can only view screens for about 10 minutes before he gets a headache and he can drive about 20 minutes and then he gets a headache. He is still getting daily headaches. His anxiety has been increased due to the head injury and worries about his career. He is booked for councelling . 
 

We try 1000% to be there for him and be patient and loving . The past 2 years with lockdown measures and 3 family deaths and now this I am struggling with panic attacks that wake me out of sleep. On the 18th of July I start working full time with a child with complicated disabilities. 
 

We are just a family in distress. 

[reinventmyself]

Oh gosh S.  Thats a lot on your plate.  Not to minimize the weight of it all, but the good news is he's making progress.  Sending hugs and prayers he continues on a road to improvement. But I certainly  understand the worry. In the meantime be good to yourself. 

[Rose Mosse]

There’s hope that it can improve which is a good thing. How frustrating for him to be going through this and heartbreaking for your family. Very frustrating. I can’t imagine what you’re going though. Hugs. ❤️ 

[Seraphim]

I can only hope he progresses enough to do his job he has only 4 years left for a full pension. His job is complicated and fast paced. He has to be able to do it . 

[maritalbliss86]

5 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I can only hope he progresses enough to do his job he has only 4 years left for a full pension. His job is complicated and fast paced. He has to be able to do it . 

Do they have an option for him to come back on something called "light duty," or maybe called something similar?  Something where he'd be temporarily doing an easier job that needs doing?  

[Seraphim]

12 minutes ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Do they have an option for him to come back on something called "light duty," or maybe called something similar?  Something where he'd be temporarily doing an easier job that needs doing?  

I think he will be going back 2 half days to start and see how that goes. 

[catfeeder]

Thinking of you during this difficult time, Seraphim.

The key thing I'd hold focus on is this:

Quote

He said he ... wants to go to work

And you probably understand that often a workplace, especially a familiar one, can cause people to rise at times when staying home would do the opposite.

Has he or his doctor been in contact with his boss to set expectations?

If not, that's probably one way to clear a possible need to leave early or to handle difficulties at the outset.

Also, it's likely that you are already doing the right things by celebrating the wins of his progress with a focus on continued progression rather than through a lens of fear. Remind yourself that when you can do this, you're not just putting on a front for him, you are also training your own brain in the right direction.

Trust that regardless of any difficulties DH encounters along the way, he WANTS to try working, and it is the one thing that's also likely to pull him UP by leaps and bounds!

((((YOU))))

Love, Cat 

[Seraphim]

52 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Thinking of you during this difficult time, Seraphim.

The key thing I'd hold focus on is this:

And you probably understand that often a workplace, especially a familiar one, can cause people to rise at times when staying home would do the opposite.

Has he or his doctor been in contact with his boss to set expectations?

If not, that's probably one way to clear a possible need to leave early or to handle difficulties at the outset.

Also, it's likely that you are already doing the right things by celebrating the wins of his progress with a focus on continued progression rather than through a lens of fear. Remind yourself that when you can do this, you're not just putting on a front for him, you are also training your own brain in the right direction.

Trust that regardless of any difficulties DH encounters along the way, he WANTS to try working, and it is the one thing that's also likely to pull him UP by leaps and bounds!

((((YOU))))

Love, Cat 

He will be getting a temporary medical category when he goes back to work. The military medical system and personnel system are intertwined so it is all sent via email to his boss. 
 

He knows I am nervous not something I can really hide from him. I think he will get better but it will be months from now or more. Luckily he is paid regardless whether he is there or not . Absolutely, we celebrate every success and improvement. 
 

It is scary though as my mom had majorly head trauma when I was 7 and she had to learn to speak again. Eventually ,she did and retained both her languages ,thankfully. 
 

 

[hundal]

I think progress is enough for a job

[Seraphim]

3 hours ago, hundal said:

I think progress is enough for a job

He is on a another temporary category for another six months because he had a mental breakdown due to them pushing too much . 
 

We will see how it goes. 

[Seraphim]

Hubby has returned to work full time this week. The first time since June 8. He is going to try to get off his medical category in January. 

[Seraphim]

My husband is now considered recovered and taken off his temporary medical category as of today. It is just over 7 months since his TBI. 

[left due to request]

That really is a good news.  Sometimes stimulation helps in situations like your husband's.  Glad he recovered quickly.  This is one of those success stories and thank you for sharing.

[Cherylyn]

I'm sorry @Seraphim .  Sending well wishes and positive vibes your way for your husband as he makes his transition to work in 3 weeks. 

Are occupational therapy resources available to your husband so he can better prepare to reenter the workforce?  I hope so.  🙏

I hear you about distress.  Most people have troubles of some sort.  All of this will eat you up but don't let it.  I'm trying not to let it eat me up over here.  We can do this together!

[Seraphim]

3 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

I'm sorry @Seraphim .  Sending well wishes and positive vibes your way for your husband as he makes his transition to work in 3 weeks. 

Are occupational therapy resources available to your husband so he can better prepare to reenter the workforce?  I hope so.  🙏

I hear you about distress.  Most people have troubles of some sort.  All of this will eat you up but don't let it.  I'm trying not to let it eat me up over here.  We can do this together!

Oh he has been at work for many months now . His accident happened in June. He has done Physio and gradual return to work for six months. He returned to work full time the end of November. The military took him off his medical category yesterday so he is without restrictions now. I just used an old thread to update. 

[Seraphim]

5 hours ago, rsml123 said:

That really is a good news.  Sometimes stimulation helps in situations like your husband's.  Glad he recovered quickly.  This is one of those success stories and thank you for sharing.

Thanks. We weren’t sure he would fully recover when he couldn’t speak properly or hardly remember anything .